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People Looked Like Fucking Freakshows in the 1980s

June 21st, 2010 12:25am Leave a comment

Someone explain to me the point of the 1980s (besides the fact that I was born then). The decade sucked ass. I was only 2, so I don’t count myself as part of that mess decade – the 1990s were exponentially better. My point? People looked like fucking freakshows:

This picture has been on the internet since 1995, sue me.

First you get the whole big hair thing. It’s fucking nasty. Who’s idea was it to start that and why did it catch on? Protip: big fuckin lion mane rat nests are not attractive. Anyone who ever had their hair like that at one point should be eliminated. See that kid in the picture to my left? I’d probably piss the bed if I woke up and found nasty gross thing in my room. Then you have that dude. If you take his head and hair and superimpose it over his torso, they’re the same size. That can’t be right. I’m pretty sure that even if I tried, I wouldn’t have the slightest clue where to begin to get my hair looking like that. You need to do legit work to make yourself look like that much of asshole.

Then you have the whole hair metal rock scene (James Maresca, don’t read this part, you will be heartbroken). Hair Metal: Absolute garbage. You have classic rock in the 70s which is ballin that got suddenly transformed into thrashy noise. I can tolerate Bon Jovi and maybe 10 80s rock songs max, but for the most part, it’s crap.

<<I have nothing else to say here, I’m just filling space for layout purposes. Yes, this is ghetto. Read on below.>>

Another popular look of the 1980s which was dumb as hell: pedophile rapist glasses. Anyone wearing a pair of these Coke bottle over-sized frame shit piles of metal is an automatic rapist and pedophile. Guaranteed. I mean look at this guy, trying to lure in little kids with his antler ear fingers. Guy’s gotta be on death row right now. There is no way on earth anyone can wear those shits without being a pedophile.

Absolute nightmare of style and pop culture, the 1980s. At least people look normal today. And don’t give me any of the “oh that was the style back then” bullshit. You all looked like morons.

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  1. waspito
    June 21st, 2010 at 01:24 | #1

    This is made of so much win. People looked horribly scary. And yes, hair/1980s metal blows hippo dick.

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