Month: June 2010
People Looked Like Fucking Freakshows in the 1980s
Someone explain to me the point of the 1980s (besides the fact that I was born then). The decade sucked ass. I was only 2, so I don’t count myself as part of that mess decade – the 1990s were exponentially better. My point? People looked like fucking freakshows:
This picture has been on the internet since 1995, sue me.
First you get the whole big hair thing. It’s fucking nasty. Who’s idea was it to start that and why did it catch on? Protip: big fuckin lion mane rat nests are not attractive. Anyone who ever had their hair like that at one point should be eliminated. See that kid in the picture to my left? I’d probably piss the bed if I woke up and found nasty gross thing in my room. Then you have that dude. If you take his head and hair and superimpose it over his torso, they’re the same size. That can’t be right. I’m pretty sure that even if I tried, I wouldn’t have the slightest clue where to begin to get my hair looking like that. You need to do legit work to make yourself look like that much of asshole.
Then you have the whole hair metal rock scene (James Maresca, don’t read this part, you will be heartbroken). Hair Metal: Absolute garbage. You have classic rock in the 70s which is ballin that got suddenly transformed into thrashy noise. I can tolerate Bon Jovi and maybe 10 80s rock songs max, but for the most part, it’s crap.
<<I have nothing else to say here, I’m just filling space for layout purposes. Yes, this is ghetto. Read on below.>>
Another popular look of the 1980s which was dumb as hell: pedophile rapist glasses. Anyone wearing a pair of these Coke bottle over-sized frame shit piles of metal is an automatic rapist and pedophile. Guaranteed. I mean look at this guy, trying to lure in little kids with his antler ear fingers. Guy’s gotta be on death row right now. There is no way on earth anyone can wear those shits without being a pedophile.
Absolute nightmare of style and pop culture, the 1980s. At least people look normal today. And don’t give me any of the “oh that was the style back then” bullshit. You all looked like morons.
Saturday’s Song of the Week: The Doors – Love Street
Only because it was on Entourage and is stuck in my head, and I’m not on it. Not a bad song if you want to get your 1968 on.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z6s2Ln58Xw
Get a Life, Bro
This joker in Dallas is already in line to pick up his pre-ordered iPhone 4. Launch date is when? The 24th? You’ve got like 6 days. Make yourself useful in this world.
Only Apple creates these kind of problems
Yankee Problems
I hate when we lose to teams who have bloated, ugly fans who puke on people. It’s unacceptable to lose to a team that you beat in the World Series the previous year. And a team that only had 9 or so wins in their last 20 games. The fucking Mets are better than the Phillies.
Problems:
- Never hold fuckin boxing matches at the Yankee Stadium. Do you see the outfield grass? It looks diseased. Gardener slipped on the half assed turf they put down it and it cost us a run. Fire that grounds crew!
- Yes Network needs to stop playing this stupid fucking commercial. The song is awful and reminds me of a preschool tune. Plus, I don’t want to look at 1980s Hondas. Cars in the 80s look like tiny, tin boxes of shit.
- Fuck Jose Contraras. He sucked in 2003-4 when he played for us, and now he shuts us down. Go back to Cuba.
- Andy Pettite should urinate all over the starting lineup and bullpen, because the poor guy worked hard and everyone didn’t care.
- Paul O’Neill – get out of the YES broadcast booth and start throwing water coolers at the players. It’ll motivate them.
- Placido Pollanco can suck it. I have is Philly ass on my fantasy team. If the Phillies are going to unload runs on the Yankees, I should at least getfantasy points out of it. But he’s like 1-9 in the series
- Joba, Marte and the rest of the bullpen sucks my fucking balls. Especially Joba – I haven’t seen him pitch well since last season.
- It’s a requirement that MLB umpires are blind, because they can’t make calls for shit. Fuckin David Patterson would make a better umpire than these jokers.
- Tampa Bay lost again. The Yankees could have taken first place solo. But no…
- Someone bring me a cheese steak. It’s the only good thing that comes out of that garbage city.
- Stop texting me. My phone just DROID’ed 6 times in the past 10 seconds.
If the Yankees don’t slaughter Los Mets in the next three days, I will not be happy
Jesus Christ, A.J
June 22, 2010
Sports
No Comments
Portfolioso
Look what you did, you useless bastard.
Someone send this fuckin southern tobacco spitting hick AJ Burnett back to AAA until he learns how to pitch. Asshole is a guaranteed loss for the Yankees. Last 4 starts? All losses. He’s quickly turning into the new Jeff Weaver asshole of this team.
Stop fighting with every single catcher and throw the ball somewhere not right down the middle of the plate. This proves that A.J is gay with Jose Molina, because when anyone else is behind the plate, he blows.
This guy got more destroyed than the time Tom Cleary did dizzy bats in townhouse 15 and wiped out an entire beer pong table.
Yankees