Month: October 2010
A Nice 28 Out Win
This is what I’m talking about! Yanks battling it out in the postseason, coming back from behind. Tex’s home run, etc. Mo coming out for a 4 out save. Excellent win boys. CC was mediocre but good enough to take the game. No Roy Halladay out there, but a win is a win. I know I’ve been negative recently, but you need to go out there and support the greatest franchise ever. Let’s do it for the boss, boys.
And what the fuck was that shit about in the 9th – a great scoop by Golson which should have ended the game, but blind ass ump Chris Guccione said he trapped it? That’s bullshit, it was the cleanest catch I’ve seen all day. And upon review, all six morons got together to engage in groupthink and agree on the wrong call. God forbid that would have cost us the game, I would have boycotted baseball. If that ever happened and I were Girardi, there would be big problems. I’m talking rampages worse than that nutjob Wally Backman. I’d probably pop a squat mid field, dump a load on the ump’s shoes and smudge it on his face right in front of the whole stadium. But whatever, it just proves Mo can pitch 4 out 9th innings without any trouble. Just a little more practice, that’s all.
Keep it up boys!
If You Follow Your GPS Into a Lake, You Deserve to Die
Gizmodo – According to Spanish newspaper El Mundo, a 37-yo Senegalese man died when his car fell into a lake near the town of Capilla, Badajoz. According to his companionwho survived the accidentthe driver was following the GPS directions when the car fell into the water, sinking in just a few minutes.
According to amateur blog portfolioso.com, a 37-yo Sengalese man is a fucking idiot. If you are stupid enough to follow your GPS into a lake, you’re a damn moron and you need to be eliminated to improve the intelligence of the gene pool here on earth. It’s social Darwinism at it’s finest.
Pay the fuck attention you stupid idiot. You’re driving on a windy, dangerous, unfamiliar road – go slower. Last I checked, your GPS doesn’t drive your car for you. If you drove it off a road, you’re the one with the wheel and pedal asshole. So don’t give me any of this “oh it’s dark, it’s windy” bull, it’s 100% his fault. Could the GPS have been wrong? Yes, but it’s a machine – you use it to help you, not control you. Sorry but it’s called situational awareness. Very important.
So tell me who this schmuck fuckface companion is who survived? Another fucking idiot. What the hell was he doing when his friend was busy driving off a cliff – lounging? If they were in an unknown dark area, you think he’d be an extra set of eyes? You think he be screaming at his friend to stop driving like a maniac on some windy road with no divider and a huge drop into a lake.. Shame that guy walked away. Another moron who needs his genes of this planet.
I love reading these stories on the internet because it’s great ripping on these people. Obviously I’m 100% right. It’s like that fucking idiot who got run over following Google’s walking directions. Probably sued Google for like $300 million too.
PS – If you saw this post like 6 times on your news reader, I messed up. API tests/ reposting/ Twitter problems. Sorry
Cancel The Playoffs
My computer literally froze solid when I Googled this shithead.
Might as well cancel the postseason right now because the Yankees won’t be getting anywhere, guaranteed. I’ve been saying it for a while now. It wasn’t looking good for the Yanks to take the AL East because they only way they could have won the division was if the Rays lost and the Yankees won. Well guess what, the Rays are losing right now. But you have Joe’s Double A joketeam playing over in Boston losing their asses off. The Rays are trying to give the Yanks the damn division and they can’t even win one ballgame. Just one more – that’s all I ask. Nope, enjoy the wildcard you assholes. Not even good enough to win a division. What a disaster.
There is only one man to blame, and that’s A.J Burnett for being a worthless shitpile this entire season. Take your fucking 10-15 record with a 5.26 ERA and leave. Go to the dirty hick south where you fit in better. Because even if he had 5 fewer losses, the Yankees would be in first and much better off than they are now. AJ, you just won the portfolioso.com get the fuck off my team award. And I rarely hate on individual players that much, so that’s an honor. No one likes you. Seriously, anyone watch the Yankees celebrating when they clinched the wild card? Guy was already halfway out of the stadium before the first bottle was popped. Obviously, nothing for him to celebrate since he caused more harm than good this season. The guy is a fucking psychopath. Always in a bad mood, crazy bitch etc. The only reason he’s pitching like shit is because he’s a looney. And if you put this disasterface on the mound in October, forget about it.
P.S – I never blogged about his black eye a few weeks ago which neither he nor Girardi would address. Obviously that mean’s it was shameful and hush hush. Here are some of my theories.
- Bar fight (I’m almost 97% certain this has to be it)
- Drunken fall on his face
- Drunk car crash
- Any of the above, except replace alcohol with heroin
- Wife punched him in self defense
- Jorge Posada punched him after he requested Cervelli to catch a game
- He punched himself in the face for pitching like crap
- What did I miss? So many fun possibilities.
Normally, I’d say thank God for football, but it’s obvious that the Bears are going to vom all over the slumping Giants tonight. So, I’ll be looking forward to Dexter and Boardwalk Empire.
And will somebody shut these fucking kids up outside. I wasn’t that noisy when I was 6. They’re like 6 houses away and they’re still annoying the shit out of me. Are pogo sticks supposed to be that loud?
If You Superglue Your Eyes Closed, You Deserve to Go Blind
October 7, 2010
Rants
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Portfolioso
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juAQrZQY59E&feature=player_embedded#
How fucking old, blind and stupid do you have to be to put super glue in your eyes instead of eye drops. How is that even possible? Don’t you store them in different locations? Like don’t the eyedrops go in the medicine cabinet or with all of the medical things? Or, why put superglue with your medical stuff, that should go in your hardware drawer. Organization you old crone. I can be fucking blind and I can tell you the difference between superglue and eye drops. Now the FDA is looking into the situation and will probably force these glue makers to get crazy new packaging, all because some old bitch glued her eyeballs shut like an asshole.
My favorite part of the whole article: “I’m not young anymore, but I’m not senile.” Listen you old bat, anyone who fucking confuses a bottle of superglue with eyedrops is not mentally all there. Period
darwin awardsStupidity