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Three Useless Assholes

October 7th, 2011 1:06am Leave a comment

When you have the bases loaded twice with 1 out and still lose 3-2, you deserve to lose. Seriously, this was probably the most boring game I’ve ever seen. No sense of urgency + no one giving a shit = no ALCS.

Now… My Most Useless Player awards, all of whom forgot how to hit a ball once the calendar flipped to October. When you bat these guys 3rd 4th and 5th and they’re all hitting under .200, you don’t win playoff games. Simple as that. From best to worst:

Nick Swisher

  • Batting: 3-15 (.200)

Mark Texiera

  • Batting: 2-15 (.133).
  • 0 RBI
  • 5 strikeouts

Statistically, Tex was hands down the most useless player this post season.¬†Awesome bro. Awesome…

And the winner of the most useless because I said so…

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A-Rod

  • Batting: 2-14 (.143)

HERP DERP

Dude wins hands down for choking every fucking postseason, making the last out and making the most money.

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