Month: October 2011


And it all Comes Down to this Crazy Bastard


Season on the line tonight, folks! Good or bad A.J? Who ya got? The good AJ or the AJ I bashed a new asshole in?

I can’t believe the entire 2011 season comes down to this jokester. Come on!


Why Do The NYC Subway Turnstyles Still Say No Tokens?


Is this shit for real? Why do turnstyles still say no tokens? It’s like 2011. The MetroCard existed since 1993 and was mainstream in like 1999. Tokens were eliminated by 2003. There’s not even a slot to put tokens anywhere. No shit you can’t use tokens. Can’t they think of a better message to put there? It might as well say “No unicorns or rainbows”

Fucking MTA.


Pretty Sure I Just Jinxed Myself


Welp, because I wrote that blog about how healthy I always am, I’m 100% going to get sick within the next week.

Pretty sure I’m coming down with pneumonia or something because my lungs hurt for no reason. FML!

Well This Sucks, But I have to Disagree


Gizmodo-New research reveals that alcohol impairs your body’s ability to fight off viral infections. Isn’t it enough that it already impairs your ability to drive, talk clearly, and not over-tip strippers? Damn it, alcohol, what more do you want?

Researchers from the University of Massachusetts Medical Schoolfound that monocytes (a type of white blood cell that has heroic anti-viral and anti-inflammatory properties) were weakened by alcohol consumption, and that prolonged alcohol consumption had a double-negative effect.

I’d like to disagree with this because I’m possibly a raging alcoholic* but I’m generally pretty healthy.

It doesn’t really take a scientific study to see that this is possible. I mean, alcohol messes with your cells right? Pretty much blasts your liver apart. So if it’s destructive there, obviously it can weaken your immune system. Combine that with going to filthy bars that wash glasses by dipping them in soapy water which probably isn’t changed for weeks and staying up all hours of the night drinking and neglecting sleep – BAM recipie for disaster.

Now who wants to go see the movie Contagion with me?

*OK – lies, I got a lot better. I’m actually a bit of a Nancy since I left school. My liver rejoices.

Women Were So Fucking Ugly During Prohibition


This dude Carie Nation is the nastiest man that existed

I’m watching Ken Burns’ special on Prohibition. It’s pretty boring, but I get the idea. I have one main observation: why the fuck were women so God damn ugly back then?

Seriously? Were these morons stupid, trying to ban alcohol? How’d they ever fuck? Who in their soberest mind would bang one of these dogs? I mean, these women make Meg look hot, and I puked alittlebit in my mouth thinking about that analogy.

These bitches should have embraced alcohol. It might have helped their chances getting some poor dude shitfaced enough to brown bag them.