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Kombucha Sounds Like A Pussy Ass Drink to Me

November 6th, 2011 12:00pm Leave a comment

Lifehacker – Kombucha has grown in popularity over the past few years around the same time as kefir and probiotically-augmented yogurts. Like yogurt, kefir, and sourdough bread it requires a starter culture which is added to black or green sweetened tea. The result is a tart, fizzy drink (0.5% ABV) that tastes a little like apple cider and is touted by many for health benefits.

NO. THANKS.

This is a bitch ass drink for health freaks. I’m not going to waste time fermenting green tea with bacteria that is turns out to have like .5% alcohol by volume.  How are you supposed to get hammered off that shit?  I’d have to drink like 15 gallons, then I’d get sick because of a full stomach.

“But Joe, it has probiotics and good bacteria that is really good for your stomach and digestion.” F that noise. Want good bacteria? Eat yogurt.

Wanna know what works better? Take some green tea, then pour gin or vodka in it. Repeat like 8 times. Enjoy.

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