Month: May 2012
Dave Grohl Is a Motherfuckin BOSS
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl9GMOTaqtc
So gay for Dave Grohl.
Idiotic, Hipster Apple Fanboy Scientists Think Siri Can Cure Cancer
Gizmodo -British Telecom is putting [Siri] through a kind of biomedical training. Last month, at a conference in Boston, BT’s Bas Burger used Siri to launch a mock experiment that analyzed data on the new cloud service the company build specifically for life sciences R&D.Talking into his iPhone, Burger asked Siri to crunch some numbers on BT’s cloud using a common research tool called Pipeline Pilot, and after authenticating Burger, Siri complied. Moments later, Burger asked her for a status update, and she told him the experiment was complete, offering the results on his phone
I’m about to stop following Gizmodo on my news reader on the grounds that they keep blogging about stupid bullshit, like why youshouldn’tput water in your cereal. But at the same time, it allows for some real talk discussion on how my opinions are always correct, my logic is flawless, and most people are fucking morons.
I skimmed this article. It’s too long and full of shit for me to thoroughly give a fuck about it. Hey Bas Burger. Instead of wasting time time making an interface for Siri to do your cloud calculations, why don’t you just do your cloud calculations without Siri. It’s less effort.
Fucking hipsters.
Why Would Anyone EVER Waste Money Studying Water on Cereal?
Gizmodo – Researchers from Pontificia University Católica in Santiago, Chile, have determined with cold hard science that milk is definitively superior to water, as far as cereal liquids go.
The argument against water: “The plasticizing effect of water … softened the carbohydrate/protein matrix, inducing partial collapse of the porous structure and eventually disintegration of the whole piece through deep cracks.” Or, more simply, it will turn your Corn Flakes to mush, fast.Better to stick with milk, the fat and other solids in which”become deposited on the flakes’ surface hindering liquid infiltration.”Well, at least it’s nice to know there’s a reason for us to be doing what most of us are already doing.
Jesus Christ, Chile… Don’t you have anything better to do than to waste money studying why youshouldn’tput water in cereal? You fucking idiots.
Who in their right mind puts water in cereal? You have to be some kind of moron. It’s common sense. You either eat it dry or put milk in it. No shit water makes cereal soggy and gross – it’s the universal solvent.
I don’t need any study about plasticizing effects of water and protein/carb matrices and how thestructurescollapseand all that scientific bullshit. How much did this cost?
How about this. Instead of wasting thousands of dollars on scientists’ salaries, lab equipment and supplies, go cure diabetes or some shit. Or better yet, throw rager with hundreds of drunk Chilean sluts and invite me as VIP.
Grammar Pet Peeve: People Who Use Most + [adjective]+est
- “This professor is most smartest person I know”
- “That was the most hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life”
- “Your mom is the most sluttiest person ever”
This makes me cringe to no end. This is absolutely insane. Pick one or the other. If you use most, we already know that it’s the utmost, extreme state and cannot be anymore. If you use a word suffixed with -est, it means the same thing. If you combine them both, it’s idiotic. It’s the most ignorantthing I’ve ever heard.
If you speak like this and you are over 7 years old, you’re a moron and “don’t speak no English good.”
More Flawless Logic (Verified by D-Porpz)
May 18, 2012
Rants
No Comments
Portfolioso
See… I have some more flawless logic and a few (full of shit) people disagreed with me. So I checked in with my main man Dan and he agreed. So I’m obviously right. The Porpz is never wrong. Flawless logic to the max. Wooooooo!
Little bit unclear above. So you try to hook up with girl 1. Girl 2 pulls us apart. Try to hook up with girl 2. Shes like. Ew go away. This is bullshit. She clearly wants it right?
The answer to this is to bang them both, preferably a threesome. But that may or may not be practical… So… The girl who pulled this stunt on me is clearly delusional. Seriously… Unless you’re trying to get me all for yourself, why would you bother ripping me off someone else. Mind your mother fuckin business, cockblock. She’s clearly delusional and needs a dose of portfolioso D to straighten her out.