Year: 2014


Rant: Google Keyboard


Random pet peeve about the official stock Google Keyboardfor Android:

Will you crackers fucking autocorrect “tou” to “you?” This is by far the most annoying fucking thing ever. 100% of the time I goto type “you” (which is frequent), the combination between my fat fucking fingers and the fact that 100% of Android phones have shitty touch sensors (as compared to Apple), I end up typing tou instead. No big deal. I mistype a lot of shit on there. Only thing is, it does a good job with autocorrect. But not tou to you. Why? Because tou is a dictionary word. What the fuck is a tou? NOTHING. Get the fuck out of my dictionary. Because it’s a dictionary word, I couldn’t even add a custom dictionary/shortcut/autocorrect tou –> youtrigger.

Now when I looked up tou, it was some fucker mentioned in the Old Testament.Fore sure I’ll text about this dude 0% of the time. Android L’s keyboard better be better than that shit. Ya heard?

PS – I typed this blog on a fucking netbook keyboard running Xubuntu. Netbooks are such slow pieces of shit with the worst screen resolution ever, but it actually runs a server pretty well because Linux.


No More Comments


I don’t give a fuck what you have to say about my blogs. I just crippled commenting because even with captchas and akismet and anti-spam shit, I still get valid looking comments let through that are spam. I’m sick of deleting them.

So now, you must log in to comment and I don’t allow new registrations, so blow me! Post shit on social media, not on my shit. Fuckers.

@UberFacts Is The Worst Twitter Account Ever


 

Uberfacts is the most ridiculous Twitter account ever. It’s basically a dude with an automated bot who posts the same shitty, idiotic facts in a loop. In this post, I will provide brief commentary on these “facts”

uberstarsStars are living organisms? Idiot.

ubergoogle

NO. If you use private browsing and are NOT logged in, how the fuck is Google going to associate the query with your account (unless maybe you’re signed in to the Chrome browser). Yes, they may save search queries by IP, but what is that going to do?

 

uberscissorsHair? Indestructible? What about scissors… Idiot.

 

uberbulbResearch also says that if you shove a lightbulb up your ass and fart, it might just light up – but only if it’s an L.E.D. Idiot.

 

uberThis is common sense, assholes. Be a cube monkey for 3 months and you’ll realize anyone who’s successful (read: suits) are conniving, lying, cheating cut-throat docuhebags. So yes, if your kid is a liar, s/he will screw people over and become successful. Idiot.

 

uberpreggoCorrelation does not prove causation. Show hasn’t even been around that long. Idiot.

 

uberjapanJapan is fucked up.

 

uberafricaI’ll give you $5 if you can show me the country of South African on a map. Idiot.

Also, get a load of these contradicting facts:

  • https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/454861999286259712
  • https://twitter.com/UberFacts/status/454578867693715456

FUCKIN UNFOLLOWED

It’s 2014 – Facebook Has Absolutely No Useful Purpose Anymore


Is it me, or is the only purpose of Facebook to see reposts of Buzzfeed articles? Because that’s all. I don’t even get the point of going straight to Buzzfeed because it will just show up on your news feed. Buzzfeed, news feed – same shit. You used to be able to poke hot girls you were trying to bang people and shit and I feel like it used to be more personal. Now it’s just one giant feed of bullshit and reposts I don’t give a fuck about. This is why I don’t go on there or post shit there anymore, unless someone interacts with me first. Okay, maybe every once in a while I’ll post a video of that CNBC guy who had a dick on his backon my boy’s wall from college to bring back some times, but other than that. Whatever.

You know what I miss? Back when Facebook looked like this and was simple. And when networks actually meant something.

2007facebook