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This Professor’s Got Some Pair of Balls

March 20th, 2011 10:00am 3 comments

Checked my school email for shits and giggles and found this floating in the inbox:

 

I admire this pompous man. Let me tell you something: I would completely rage if I got this email from a  professor who sucked. But I think this is hilarious. Guy straight up batch emails all of his students and former students asking for our vote. Man’s got balls of steel. How confident is this guy – just dropping lines about his previous awards at other schools and how he believes he is a good teacher. Guy even gives you specific instructions on how to nominate him.

Seriously, isn’t the point of this award to be surprised and voted without asking?  Cut the bullshit, Dr. Oz, we all know he’s just looking out for his own resume so he can move on to more prestigious schools. And you knwo what? I don’t blame the man. Nothing against him though, I actually had him and he was pretty decent, so I’d vote for him if I was still in school. Better than that other Drupal obsessed joker or 100% of the accounting professors up in that bitch. (Abusers, if you read this, I expect a full comment on this situation).

PS – Anyone who cancels their final exam and replaces it with a paper due on the last day of class is a winner in my book.

PS Again – You ever see this guy’s pictures? Guy’s a straight up baller. My fav is “Drink aggressively” TOUCHE!

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Professors Like to Rob Students Blind

February 1st, 2010 10:28pm No comments

Business lesson with Dr. Portfolioso, CEO of Portfolioso Industries. We will be discussing how to cut costs regarding book purchasing for a management class I am taking

So a week ago, I get an email from one of my professors before class starts. “I will be buying your books. Bring me $100” Well gee, thanks a lot, that’s a lot of money. I’ll take care of buying my own books, not you, and here’s why:

So I get to class tonight and he brings us 6 different books. Me being an OCD control freak, come back and do some magical Excel calculations. First, I add up the retail price on the books. The professor claimed to have purchased these books at a 50% discount from a local mom and pop bookstore. So first I add up the retail prices on all 6 books: ($15.00 + $18.00 + $15.00 + $14.95 + $14.95 + $14.95 = $92.75). Add in about 7% sales tax and you’re around $100. Okay so this guy was completely bullshitting us about his discount, but at least the figures add up and he’s not stealing my money.

But here’s what pisses me off. I usually buy books on Amazon.com. So I do two more calculations. First, I calculate the cost of buying them new from Amazon, with free shipping if they were all combined: $21.15 + $9.75 + $9.85 + $10.17 + $10.17 + $10.17 = 71.26. Add some tax and you’re around $76.

But F that. I don’t need new pristine books. As long as I can read them, I will get them used – who cares. Normal professors list their books before the course starts, along with the authors and editions so I can grab them off Amazon, which is how I normally buy my books. So I added up buying them used on Amazon from various sellers. Including shipping, we’ve got: $8.94 + $6.98 + $7.98 + $8.18 + $8.54 + $8.17 = $48.79

Someone tell this mother fucker he owes me $51.21. This greedy bitch makes over $100,000 per year. I am poor. Cut me some slack, Jack. By the way, thank Christ this is the last semester I need to buy books. It’s all one huge sham.

Moral of the story: This “management professor” is a terrible manager because he can’t cut costs. Everyone knows you need to save money. Under my system, I would have saved $51.21. This is why this jokeface is only a professor of management and doesn’t actually manage anything in real life. Okay, this is only like $50, but in corporations, we’re talking millions. It’s the same concept though. People like him break this economy and drive companies to the ground.

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eFollett, This Means War

December 29th, 2009 6:23pm No comments

eFollett is one of the most awful companies around. They exist for the sole purpose to rob poor college students by charging inflated prices for textbooks. At the end of the semester, they either don’t buy them back for real market value or say they have no value. Protip: buy and sell on amazon.com. eFollett will not get another penny from me and I haven’t been to that crook bookstore in two years.

So I’m buying my books for next semester and I can tell you right now, I want to bash my history professor’s skull in and I haven’t even met the man yet. Rather than assigning normal textbooks, I look on the booklist and see the following:

First of all, give me an ISBN, a real title (not the course title) and a real author. It’s doubtful these two books have the same title. The info above tells me nothing. Now I have no choice but to buy these two books from the bookstore because it doesn’t give me enough info to shop elsewhere. I absolutely hate when professors write their own books for the class. I hate it even more when it’s sent to Kinko’s and consists of spiral bound printer paper that they make the bookstore sell for $50. Morons.

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