Portfolioso.com Blog » Website Related http://blog.portfolioso.com Oh, so this is the spot where I'm supposed to write how awesome I am... Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:25:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Ah Shit, there goes 100% Uptime http://blog.portfolioso.com/2012/01/02/ah-shit-there-goes-100-uptime/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2012/01/02/ah-shit-there-goes-100-uptime/#comments Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:25:00 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3311 Welp, I think the WordPress Android app crashed my cloud server, because I was writing a post from here and for no reason it was down for 11 minutes until I force rebooted it.

Fuck! I really wanted to see 100% uptime on the new host. Shitty start to 2012 over here at the blog. All else is good so far though.

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2012/01/02/ah-shit-there-goes-100-uptime/feed/ 0 This Blog is SO Much Faster Now http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/14/this-blog-is-so-much-faster-now/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/14/this-blog-is-so-much-faster-now/#comments Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:56:21 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3278 Ever since I moved i]this blog off my piece of shit shared host on December 1st, I’ve had 0 downtime and the response time pretty much cut in half.  See where the time decreases? That is me moving this to a dedivated VPS and lighttpd instead of a shared server and Apache.

Enjoyyy

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/14/this-blog-is-so-much-faster-now/feed/ 0 Verizon Can Suck It So Hard with This Galaxy Nexus Delay Shit http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/06/verizon-can-suck-it-so-hard-with-this-galaxy-nexus-delay-shit/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/06/verizon-can-suck-it-so-hard-with-this-galaxy-nexus-delay-shit/#comments Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:54:14 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3244 I have no words. I was supposed to have this fucking Galaxy Nexus smartphone by October 10th and here I am with one hand on my dick and the other on this piece of shit. I read a tech blog today that the Galaxy Nexus was on display at the Samsung Experience, which a half-assed Apple store that has a whopping amount of products on display: 3 chromebooks, 4 TVs and 2 smartphones. Store was almost as bare as my grandma’s fridge. I trek my ass all the way to this store, taking all the wrong subways because I’m a noob dumbass, and what do I find?

The piece of shit is not there because Verizon ordered it to be removed, since they didn’t officially announce it.

This is exactly how to not release a phone, folks. Want to know why Apple is so successful (besides the fact that they have cult fanboys and their products cater to simple minded people who are clueless about technology)? Because when they release a product, they hype it for like 4 months. People line up for that shit like it’s the end of the world.

What does Verizon do? They delay the shit for two months and it ends up getting release in 5 other countries first, then by the time it comes out, no one but the ubergeeks give a shit. It’s going to be released so quietly that no one is going to care. Verizon also advertises and pushes pieces of shit like the Motorola Droid Razr and all of this other bullshit bundled with Verizon

Trust me.. Verizon is NEVER going to launch another “official Google” phone again because they lose tons of control over it. They’d rather release shitty phones from shitty companies that put shitty user interfaces and shitty bloatware on them.

If I don’t get to pre-order or order this fucking thing by Friday, I’m officially going to check into a mental institution for obsessive compulsive disorder and schizophrenia. Because obviously I am delusional and out of touch with reality thinking that this phone is ever going to be released. Because it probably won’t be. It’ll be like Shutter Island. One big mindfuck that never existed.

PS – the only reason I am so obsessing over this phone is because I’m using such a piece of shit, that the earpiece doesn’t work and it doesn’t even have a fucking clock built in. That’s right folks. The second I lose service, I have no idea what time it is because apparently LG didn’t think to put a fucking simple assed clock in their piece of shit.

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/06/verizon-can-suck-it-so-hard-with-this-galaxy-nexus-delay-shit/feed/ 0 Trying Something New For December http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/01/trying-something-new-for-december/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/01/trying-something-new-for-december/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:36:50 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3224 I moved this blog over to a Virtual Private Server because my old host was being a dick. I wasn’t happy with the uptime (it would go down every night) and the response time was pretty bad.  (Not that anyone actually reads this, but just saying…)

Plus, I get to ditch shared hosting and get my own Ubuntu box. Pretty sweet. Oh yeah, and I’m running Lighttpd instead of Apache.

I’m going to give this a shot for a while and see what’s better and maybe change it up. Here are November’s shitty statistics:

 

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/12/01/trying-something-new-for-december/feed/ 0 My Host Is a Piece of Shit http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/11/05/my-host-is-a-piece-of-shit/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/11/05/my-host-is-a-piece-of-shit/#comments Sun, 06 Nov 2011 02:40:03 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3163 Every night from 1AM to 6AM, they do backups which completely destroy the server I’m using. I complain about it 5 times a week and they’re like “oh it ran out of memory” “oh it was the backup” “oh we made changes so it won’t happen again”

Bullshit. Every fucking night at 1AM, my website becomes useless. They’re lucky I’m too lazy to switch to another host right now. I really would like a RackSpace cloud 512MB or 1GB instance, but that shit costs too much.

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/11/05/my-host-is-a-piece-of-shit/feed/ 1 Portfoliso.com v3 is Live (Web Redesign, Bitches) http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/10/02/portfoliso-com-v3-is-live-web-redesign-bitches/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/10/02/portfoliso-com-v3-is-live-web-redesign-bitches/#comments Sun, 02 Oct 2011 15:00:09 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3077 Bitches! The new Portfolioso.com just launched. This is redesign numero tres of site history. It’s now using HTML5 and CSS3 which brings us into the current decade (the old site blew donkey nipples). It is mimimalistic, clean and looks good.

Props and thanks to John for the new logos. It’s basically my old logo, but with gradients. He also tilted the one on the bottom right. The man is a brilliant graphic designer.

I also recommend checking out my error pages, because they’re pretty ballin’ (404 and 403 and 500). I jacked the Tumbugs graphics from the dude who drew them for Tumblr, back in the day when Tumblr used to be cool and had baller error pages. Now, stupid ass Tumblr is all mainstream and got more professional, which is never fun. The dude open sourced them, so I’m allowed to use them now.

Welp, there’s nothing really useful on that site, so you can suck it if you don’t like it. I like the redesign, so that shall be all. Smell ya later, bitches

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/10/02/portfoliso-com-v3-is-live-web-redesign-bitches/feed/ 0 Portfolioso.com v2 Gone For Good http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/19/portfolioso-com-v2-gone-for-good/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/19/portfolioso-com-v2-gone-for-good/#comments Tue, 20 Sep 2011 03:27:57 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=3040 “And ya done.” I just deleted my entire website because it fucking sucked. V3 will launch October 1st. Stay tuned, my friends. Big things are coming.

The homepage of portfolioso.com has been replaced with this teaser countdown:

 

No, Abusers, I will not use Drupal. F that noise and Chuntl3y and his bitch ass IS classes.

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/19/portfolioso-com-v2-gone-for-good/feed/ 0 I F’in Hate portfolioso.com http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/06/i-fin-hate-portfolioso-com/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/06/i-fin-hate-portfolioso-com/#comments Tue, 06 Sep 2011 06:47:40 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=2808 I hate my website. It looks like a bunch of ass puking all over a web browser. It’s too gray, it has a bunch of square boxes and the gradient + diagonal lines are all overused. Not only does no one really go to it, but it’s just plain pointless. We all know the blog is where it’s at.

So… I will be redesigning it from scratch and removing a bunch of shit, such as my rechargeable batteries page. Really? Rechargeable batteries? Who gives a shit about them and why do I have a page explaining how they work? What do I look like, some kind of science website?

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/09/06/i-fin-hate-portfolioso-com/feed/ 0 …Aaaaaand We’re Back http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/08/15/aaaaaand-were-back/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/08/15/aaaaaand-were-back/#comments Mon, 15 Aug 2011 05:26:56 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=2737 Had a little security breach here on this site. No personal information of mine or any regular visitors was stolen and all is well now. Essentially, some bot connected to my FTP server, downloaded some php files, injected malicious javascript into them and then reuploaded them. I noticed the breach after some strange behavior on certain pages. My hosting company investigated, the files were cleaned and extra security has been put into place to prevent this from happening again.

This shouldn’t have affected anyone negatively if you visited this site using a modern browser (Google Chrome wouldn’t even load my site and flagged it as suspicious). If you used Firefox, it was making requests from attacker domains.

Anywho….

]]> http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/08/15/aaaaaand-were-back/feed/ 0 Zzzzzz. Amy Winehouse Is Dead. Told Ya… http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/07/23/zzzzzz-amy-winehouse-is-dead-told-ya/ http://blog.portfolioso.com/2011/07/23/zzzzzz-amy-winehouse-is-dead-told-ya/#comments Sat, 23 Jul 2011 18:35:47 +0000 Portfolioso http://blog.portfolioso.com/?p=2596 Didn’t I previously blog about this messface being a disaster? I know my shit.

CNN- Singer Amy Winehouse, infamous for erratic public behavior, arrests and drug problems, was found dead at her apartment in London Saturday, the UK Press Association reported. She was 27.

Winehouse died at the same age as four other music legends. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison each died of drug overdoses when they were 27. Kurt Cobain was 27 when he committed suicide, soon after his release from rehab.

How dare CNN compares this lousy bitch to Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. That is an insult to the music industry. This woman was awful. You can be a druggie mess and make legendary music (like those four) or you can be a druggie mess and make whiny shitty music.

PS – My blog is the ultimate source of all wisdom. I’m always right about everything. People should listen to me.

Kill yoursel... Oh wait. Too soon?

 

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