Tag: MTA
Happy New Year, Love the MTA
These new fares are for shit. No mas! No mas! I could lease a beemer for the price I’m paying for a fucking monthly subway and Metro North. Welp, 2011 started and I’m that much poorer. Keep ass raping the middle class, bitches. All to stand on crowded-ass, shitty, brake squeaky trains that sway like morons.
The Bombardier M7-A is a Piece of Shit
I swear, ride on these things and you’ll get seasick. Yes, seasick. From a train. Yeah they’re all new (well 4-5 years old), flashy and look cool unlike those other shitty 70s models with the fake stick on wood grain (seriously, wood grain? That’s another rant). I never felt anything rock back and forth so violently. How is it possible? It’s a level train on a level, solid iron track. What a topheavy piece of crap. Seriously, who builds these things anyway? They don’t take it for a little spin and say “hmm, too much rocking, let’s fix something.” Nah, they just want to shit them out as cheaply as possible so the MTA can raise my fares every 5 minutes. The old trains don’t have this problem, but these things are nuts. Half the time my coffee is sloshing all over the bro next to me. The thing is like the Sea Dragon over at Playland. I’m trying to read my book or phone screen and everything’s just shaking. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
Not to mention, I almost died this morning walking between cars 1) because these things have like 200 fewer seats than the old ones, forcing me to walk between cars and 2) it decided to sway from side to side right as I walked between cars in which there was no protect. Welp, that would have been it folks.
That’s right – part two of my 100 part series on bad engineering.
The 6 Train is Really Starting to Piss me off Lately
You know what sucks lately? The fucking 6 train. Don’t get me wrong, we all know that the 4,5, and 6 trains are the only legit subway lines in all of NYC. They’re new, they come every 5 minutes and they go through legit areas of Manhattan.
But recently, it’s been sucking ass. This morning, I was on the train for 10 minutes before the asshole decided to close his doors and pull out. Like seriously… You know how dangerous that is? Doors wide open – a prime opportunity for someone to come in, snatch something and then bail. Plus I have places to go.
Same shit tonight. The asshole conductor probably went to go take a piss and we’re sitting in the station for like 10 minutes. I need to run, people. Then, the moron yields to a 5 train and lets that go ahead of us, so we’re stopped for like 3 minutes. In my opinion, no train with me on it should yield to any other train. I have other trains to catch, Yankees to watch.
Anything slowing my commute or getting in my way is unacceptable.
Ps, I just ripped ass right now and pretty much gassed this entire car. My b.
Rush Hour Rant: Narrow Steps
February 9, 2011
Rants
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Portfolioso
Random black dude and a Life logo, proving I jacked this photo off Google Images. Plus, it's not even crowded, so it doesn't prove my point. Whatever bitches.
I think I’m going to add a weekly subway segment on this blog. Face it, if you commute to NYC every day, you’ll see some classic bullshit on those subways. Rats, piss, bums, reggae dudes – you name it, it’s there. Between the MTA sucking asshole nonstop and raising fares and a mob of angry New Yorkers, I have literally infinite amounts of material to post. So her goes rant number the first: subway station steps during rush hour.
Target: 23rd St. downtown 6 station 9:30AM
Synopsis: A southbound train approaches thestationand lets out a ton of people.
A rush hour train just dumped out 100 people trying to walk up a narrow staircase two by two. These stupid jokers outside decide to squeeze their way down the steps, forcing everyone to walk single file up the steps. This generally halts traffic to a dead stop and the whole ordeal now takes minutes. I mean, it was slow enough to begin with! For fuck’s sake, I want to MURDER the assholes who do this because it screws everything up. Like here I am, walking up the steps minding my own business and all of a sudden I’m face to balls with some joke shop who couldn’t wait an extra minute for the crowd to clear. Now I need to completely stop, merge in to the other side (which is next to impossible). Result? Everyone stands still. One time I totally zoned out up those steps, half asleep in the morning and legit walked right into a motherfucker. Good. Then he had the nerve to make all kinds of grumbles and give evil looks. Tough shit, I have the right of way – your ass should have waited on top.
Use your dumbass brains and wait for the bitch ass steps to clear – it would be faster for everyone. Nope, what do they do? They decide to walk down them anyway… Once you get those things single file, forget it – it’s like the GWB of humans. Yes, I get that this is New York and no one waits for shit, but your lousy ass would actually make it down faster if you waited for the crowd to disperse.
PS – Obviously, if people are walking out of the station, you just missed the train. So why rush your ass down into a piss smelling, rat infested hole? Yes, the trains come every 2 minutes, but you have plenty of time to grab some fresh air and get the next one. Christ on the cross.
MTA