Portfolioso.com Blog

A Bunch of Bullshit

Know what sucks?

• You get AJ Asshole yesterday who usually sucks, pitch a 1 run gem and lose 1-0 because no one can hit their way out of a paper bag
• Yankees lose with an idiot closer on the verge of blowing the save who can’t throw a ball anywhere in the ballpark, let alone around the plate. Seriously, that was the worst pitching I’ve seen in 3 years. The fact that he got out of the inning is a once in a lifetime miracle.
• I look like a speckled freak because I’m half burned, half bleeding, half blistered and all that crap. The sun sucks.
• I need to go to work tomorrow and figure out why the entire fucking library’s internet is out. I don’t have time to go troubleshooting internet connectivity when I need to have been pushing an image to 20 computers yesterday. Besides this, all the fucking network technicians are out this week. I know why it doesn’t work. It doesn’t help that the fucking switches are 10MBPS, 12 years old and configured wrong due to the fact that no one knows how to configure a fucking switch properly. Also, it doesn’t help that they’re all daisy chained with cat 5 among 20 computers. Christ.
• 6-9 record in August. Pathetic. Losing series, splitting series. Want to win a series sometimes? And you’re playing complete shit teams. Wait until you play good teams.
• Where is my Froyo? Why am I the last person left with a Droid to get this update? Speaking of Froyo, they fucked up the silent/vibrate settings. Apparently, you can only put it on vibrate and can’t make it totaly silent from the lock screen or from the volume down button. Seriously?
• Swisher, Berkman and A-Rod are all hurt tonight?, Pettite, along with designated DL Nick Johnson. What fucking idiot decided to get Nick Johnson? Absolutely pathetic. You used to call Carl Pavano the American Idle? Nick Johnson breaks down more than a 1987 Ford.
• I’m 0-3 at pong in Old Lyme. Thanks Christopher. AND to make matters worse, I was always the last hope and couldn’t come through in the clutch. Almost as good as the Yankees these days.
• You know what Derek Jeter’s problem is? He doesn’t throw the fucking water cooler like Paul O’Neill. Show those morons you’re pissed you grounded into a double play against a guy who can’t hit an elephant strike zone. I could have fucking walked against Valverde.
• If I see one more hot slut’s Facebook status say “omg 2 more weeks” (aka going back to college), I’m going to scream.