Posts Tagged ‘Android’

Rant: Google Keyboard

June 30th, 2014 10:03am No comments

Random pet peeve about the official stock Google Keyboard for Android:

Will you crackers fucking autocorrect “tou” to “you?” This is by far the most annoying fucking thing ever. 100% of the time I go to type “you” (which is frequent), the combination between my fat fucking fingers and the fact that 100% of Android phones have shitty touch sensors (as compared to Apple), I end up typing tou instead. No big deal. I mistype a lot of shit on there. Only thing is, it does a good job with autocorrect. But not tou to you.  Why? Because tou is a dictionary word. What the fuck is a tou? NOTHING. Get the fuck out of my dictionary. Because it’s a dictionary word, I couldn’t even add a custom dictionary/shortcut/autocorrect tou –> you trigger.

Now when I looked up tou, it was some fucker mentioned in the Old Testament. Fore sure I’ll text about this dude 0% of the time. Android L’s keyboard better be better than that shit. Ya heard?

PS – I typed this blog on a fucking netbook keyboard running Xubuntu. Netbooks are such slow pieces of shit with the worst screen resolution ever, but it actually runs a server pretty well because Linux.

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Verizon’s Android WiFi Remote App is Some Shady Shit

July 7th, 2012 4:04pm No comments

I was working on an Android app and using the debugger which lists every event that goes on on my phone and I noticed a process called This process belongs to Verizon FiOS Mobile Remote, which is a remote replacement and DVR manager for FiOS TV.

Every time I killed it from the debugger, it would re-launch. I also noticed it has this thing called vzAnalytics, which looks like it reports phone stats back to them. The best part is that Verizon lied about the email address they provided in the market. I emailed it and it bounced. Assholes. I might uninstall this

Fuck Verizon Wireless For Not Updating My Galaxy Nexus

May 21st, 2012 12:59am 1 comment

This is a bunch of bullshit. Verizon has some pair of balls being so slow to update the buggy assed software on their phones. It’s like… They sell you the phone and then they immediately stop giving a fuck. The fucking thing wasn’t updated since December. Sprint launched the phone much later and even they have the 4.0.4 update. Don’t they understand this phone is a glorified buggy piece of shit? Half the fuckin time, I can’t even switch smoothly between 3G and 4G because the radio has a hard time accurately reporting, finding and switching between different signals. The keyboard lags when typing. The volume is low. It’s all fucked up.

Google Maps released version 6.7 which completely fucked up GPS Navigation on Android 4.0.2 only. It used to speak the street name and exit numbers during driving nav. Now it’s just like “In two miles, turn left” “Take exit right” How the hell should I know when two miles is. Motherfucker, I’m driving – I don’t want to look at my GPS screen to see what road I should turn left on. It should just tell me to “turn left on Ballsack road” or some shit.  If Verizon would have updated to 4.0.4 (which is out by the way, they just won’t push it), I wouldn’t have this issue.

I should have rooted this motherfucker from day 1. Then I would be able to install my own updates on it and I wouldnt’ have to wait for Verizon to take MONTHS and MONTHS to do this. If I want to root now, I will have to wipe my entire phone, which is a pain in my balls. But I should root so I can install DroidWall and block ads and shit, and be able to tether.

So motherfucking Google: Fix your shit. Motherfucking Verizon: release the update.