Category: Computer/ Tech Related

“The Microsoft Surfacebook Is a Piece of Shit” Rant of the Century

Portfolioso November 1, 2018 Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

I have a Gen 1 Surface Book that I had to beg for and pull strings at work to get (replacing a banged up, 3 year old Lenovo). Honestly… I wanted it so badly. I needed a hardware upgrade, my Lenovo was a plastic piece of shit that was literally falling apart (but was a solid performer) and I was ready for something sleek. Something I could bring to tech meetups, conferences etc without looking like a poor. I had it less than a year… I know the Surfacebook 2 is out (with no USB-C, what the actual fuck Microsoft), but when you work at a corporate assed company, you don’t get cutting edge shit. I was fine with that… I was super happy to finally have a sleek looking laptop – Microsoft’s MacBook competitor… And it’s a fucking piece of shit. I tried hard to like it, but it stinks on ice.

My first pet peeve is that it’s fucking slow… That’s right. It’s a DUAL CORE i7 Skylake processor. The fuck? Dual core? They made dual core laptops in 2007. I was literally in college when dual core laptops came out. My goddamn router and raspberry pi have more cores. So I literally had an older Lenovo that was a quad core i7 (albeit the previous generation of Intel chips), but it had 8 threads and more processing power… What effed this thing in the A were the Spectre and Meltdown vulnerability patches. Intel’s firmware patches in combination with Windows 10’s software mitigations literally made it run 25% slower – no exaggeration… On top of that Google Chrome (which is also on my shit list as of late), started sandboxing each tab into its own process which made that run shittier and used 15% more RAM (and it was already a fucking memory hog)… So much for advancing technology. You literally buy a device, and omg all of a sudden there’s a vulnerability and now we’re going to patch it and make it 25% slower. We’re literally regressing in time…

Next problem. It has a weird 3000 x 2000 HiDPI display. Cool, right? It’s equivalent to Apple’s Retina Display? For sure not. This is singlehandedly my number one pet peeve with this. 90% of applications cannot handle multi-monitor, mixed DPI setups. What do I mean by this? Well… When you have a 15″ screen at 3000×2000 pixels, you need to set OS scaling to 150,175 or 200% or else it looks like a microscopic asshole. When you have other displays connected, those are not necessarily high DPI, so they are scaled to 100%. So MSFT in recent updates to Windows 10 added an API that helps develops scale their apps on. And everyone on the Windows DPI team is a fucking moron because it works like shit and/or no software developers actually take the time to implement it roperly. Like Google. The number one used app and number one offender of this problem.  Chrome is buggy af on this display and no one from Google seems to give a shit (I almost went on a tangent on this here, but there’s a whole other blog about it if you care, which you probably don’t because no one reads this shit). Microsoft’s solution? Use Universal Windows Platform (UWP) apps from the MSFT store. Fuck outta hea…  90% of enterprise apps are not available as a UWP binary… While native Windows 10 apps are cool and I’m a fan of them, they are not practical for business applications. CHROME, Visual Studio, VS Code, SQL Server Management studio – all of these apps have problems on high DPI, multi-monitor displays.

Next problem: Less than one year into having it? One of the goddamn batteries fails… That’s right. The Surface Book has two batteries… One in the screen (which also contains the processor, SSD, RAM etc), and one in the keyboard (which is the main battery that holds 75% of the charge)… As we all know, battery technology is shit and hasn’t improved since the 90s and the battery in my screen flat out dies. Dead. 0% and not charging. Which means I can’t even detach the screen anymore because the software says I don’t have any battery (not that I detatched it much because that was also a gimmicky piece of shit). I had two Lenovos in 8 years… Between them both, the battery only failed one time… But a brand new, ~1 year old Surface Book had one fail way too soon.

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So we had a new hire and he got some new Lenovo. Typical plastic-bodied piece of shit with the clit mouse (which I actually prefer, because all touchpads suck balls). And I looked at it and not only is it the latest generation i7 which isn’t as affected by the Spectre/Meltdown patches that slowed it to shit, but it has a USB-C charger and two USB-C ports… Meanwhile, Microsoft, in 2018, releases the

So your official portfolioso.com review of the Surface Book (1 or 2) is that it’s a goddamn piece of shit, embarrassment which you should not buy. While, I dislike Apple and MacOS, you cannot deny that Apple’s hardware (ie – MacBook) is sexy and you’re better off getting one of those and dual booting to Windows if you must use the Windows ecosystem. And I bet it’s not a piece of shit like the Surface Book, which launches with outdated peripherals and is put to shame by some Chinese Lenovo piece of shit with a bad body but is actually a solid performer.


PS – Random rant on how software is buggy: What the actual fuck is going on in the technology world? Between Microsoft’s shitty Windows Update bugs, Google Chrome going from awesome to shit in 10 years, Android App bugs, Nest bugs, Waze bugs… Everything stinks.  You know what the problem is? Too many people are overpaid product owners / UX Designers. These people are fucking morons. All they care about is releasing new features… No one cares about speed, performance and stability. No one.. And I’m fucking sick of it. You know how many times as of late I tried to do something that should have taken me 20 seconds and I struggle with it for hours due to bad UX, bugs and idiocy? Every single day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Jaggoff Ajit Pai Finally Decides to Overhaul FCC Comment System Only After He Corruptly Gets His Way

Portfolioso July 12, 2018 Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

CNET – The Federal Communications Commission is reportedly mulling changes to its online comment system after the public comment period on net neutrality prompted 22 million fake submissions.

FCC Chairman Ajit Pai has informed two senators that he’ll propose rebuilding and re-engineering the commission’s electronic comment system “to institute appropriate safeguards against abusive conduct,” The Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday.

“It is troubling that some bad actors submitted comments using false names,” Pai said in the letter, according to the Journal. “Indeed, like you, comments were submitted in my name and my wife’s name that reflect viewpoints we do not hold.”

This fucking guy is literally the worst of the worst.  After months of ignoring everyone calling out the FCC (including his own commissioners) on how crooked the public record commenting system is, he finally decides it’s time to overhaul it ONLY AFTER he got his way. Are you fucking kidding me? Literally turned a blind eye to the entire process (ie – the New York Attorney General opened an official investigation on these fake comments and Pai told him to go fuck himself). But wait!  Someone impersonated Pai and his with viewpoints he doesn’t agree with? Stop the presses! We need to fix this comment system! He sincerely hopes congress approves the funds. WAT? These players told you to fix this bullshit last year.

Fuck this guy. He’s literally as low as they get. Someone ought to shatter his dumb, giant Reese’s mug and shove the shards up his hypocritical asshole.

 

 

Google Chrome Sucks Balls at Multi-Monitor/ Multi-DPI Settings on Windows 10

Portfolioso March 27, 2018 Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

Google Chrome is on my shit list on the grounds that they have blatant UI bugs with multi monitor multi DPI and they haven’t done dick about it in over a year. Bugs that are annoying AF that piss me off on the reg.

My setup:

  • Laptop Display: 3000×2000, 175% DPI scaling
  • Monitor 1: 1920×1200, 100% DPI scaling
  • Monitor 2: 1920×1200, 100% DPI scaling

So what’s the issue? Well, if I log in to Windows undocked to my other two monitors, everything is fine on the main laptop screen. But if I dock after that, certain elements of the UI are HUGE if I drag Chrome to my other monitors (file picker dialog, tooltips and scrollbars):

On the contrary, if I launch Chrome while docked, it looks good on my two 100% scaled monitors, but if I move it to my laptop display, some elements like tooltips and the save dialog are microscopic:

 

 

 

So in theory, they implemented multi monitor DPI in this Chromium ticket, but its implementation is garbage. Windows 10 realized that its OS level support for this stunk, so in the Anniversary Update, they added a thing called DPI_AWARENESS_CONTEXT_PER_MONITOR_AWARE_V2, which fixes a bunch of bugs. Of course, there’s a ticket to implement it here, which is unassigned and idle for over a year

You know what browsers don’t have this issue?

  • Firefox
  • Edge

Get your fucking lives together, Google. This is a technological embarrassment in 2018 that this isn’t supported properly. You don’t need to be a QA Engineer to see that it looks like shit. These are blatant UI issues that make the browser look horrendous. Come on. Don’t developers have multiple monitors. Can’t they realize this is junk?

Fix it.

Ajit Pai Just Ruined the Internet and I Hope he Dies in a Bus Fire

Portfolioso December 13, 2017 Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

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Photo Illustration: Portfolioso Himself

Welp, that’s all folks. This corporate shill just ruined the internet as you know it. Ajit Pai, a goofy looking, ex-Verizon lawyer who has been paid millions of dollars by multiple ISPs and injected into the FCC by imbecile Donald Trump has just ruined the internet.

Net Neutrality, the concept that all is nothing new. I blogged about it in 2006. The same lobbyist ISPs tried to get this to pass back in 2015 and like today, people were outraged by it. Only difference is, the leadership at the time actually gave a shit about the people they represent and listened to them.

This fucking dolt Ajit Pai is worse than a Disney villain. He has absolutely no regard for what anyone thinks, except the ISP and lobbyist dicks he’s choking on. He makes up complete and utter bullshit that is not backed by any fact whatsoever, and has no clue how the internet works.

Top engineers, Tim Berners-Lee (the inventor of the goddamn world wide web), and other intellectuals with their PhDs submitted a 43 page document explaining why repealing Net Neutrality would be bad, and benefits of why things should stay as is.  I don’t know about you, but I’d listen to the smartest engineers/inventors who know how the internet works, not some jagoff who receives lobbyist money from large corporations.

The “Restoring Internet Freedom” measure, a complete misnomer, has received tons of public comments on fcc.gov. John Oliver created gofccyourself.com, linking to the public record, then the site mysteriously “broke” for a little bit. Along with thousands of outraged citizens, there are also thousands of fake comments, which have been proven by data analysis (many from Russia). In fact, the New York Attorney General opened an official investigation on these fake comments. Pai basically told him to go fuck himself and he would hold the vote anyway.

According to FCC Commissioner Rosenworcel, “There are as many 1 million stolen identities in our record, and that’s identity theft, where people’s names and addresses have been taken and comments have been submitted on their behalf, without their knowledge. We also have roughly half a million comments filed from Russian email addresses, and then we’ve got 50,000 consumer complaints that were filed at this agency that are somehow not present in the FCC record. And on top of that, we’ve had an allegation of a distributed denial-of-service attack, which is under investigation by the Government Accountability Office. So you add all of this up, and you have a record here that is a mess and its integrity is in question.” [source]

Let’s talk a little bit about Internet Service Providers (ISPs)… They stink. The US has pretty bad internet compared with other civilized countries. ISPs paid 101 million to members of Congress! $101 million! Don’t pay idiot politicians $101 million. Actually invest that into making your shitty service better so you don’t need to lobby for idiotic rules. PS – Comcast, AT&T, Verizon and the National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) spent $572 million on attempts to influence the FCC and other government agencies since 2008 [source]. Do you really think they’d spend that kind of money if they didn’t want to implement all kinds of shady shit to squeeze more money out of the public? Comcast was originally like, nah, we won’t have paid prioritization – but then deleted their promise the same day these rules were proposed. Blasphemy!

And here’s another problem – because of the poor state of political affairs in this country at the moment, this is sadly turning into a political matter. Ignorant Republicans (with the exception of these peeps) in this divided, dumb shit, second world country, who have NO CLUE how the internet works, are in a goddamn fantasy world. They don’t understand technology. They just see all the conservative news outlets calling Net Neutrality “Obama-era regulations” and because Obama is the devil child, they immediately want anything to do with him reversed.

They’ll incorrectly argue: “Oh, but the internet was fine before 2015 when Obama’s crew implemented these heavy handed regulations…” Go eat a dick. No it wasn’t. Here’s some shady shit some ISPs pulled and WILL pull again if Net Neutrality is repealed:

  • In 2005, a small ISP in North Carolina blocked Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP), preventing its customers from using competing third party services [source]
  • In 2007, Comcast throttled BitTorrent peer-to-peer (P2P) traffic. This interfered with other protocols [source]
  • In August of 2012, AT&T blocked Facetime on its network and later that year, added a more expensive data plans that allowed its use Facetime. They admitted it was a scheme to get people to upgrade to more expensive plans [source]
  • In 2012, Comcast announced that it would favor its own video-on-demand streaming services over third-party competitor services, by charging customers for the data they used to stream competitor services [source]

Another shit argument by pro Net Neutrality idiots: “Oh, but these heavy handed regulations stifle competition. / Who cares if the ISPs charge me more if I don’t use something. / What’s wrong with how the internet was before 2015?” Are you a fucking idiot? What competition? I don’t know about you, but I don’t really have much of a choice when it comes to my internet provider. And you really think your bill will go down if you don’t pay for services/sites you don’t use? Get real! Do you want the internet to turn into how cable TV is? With upsells, packages and cable companies dropping networks because their fees are too high? Get the fuck out of my face. And this measure isn’t just undoing the 2015 legislation. It’s adding all kinds of sneaky bullshit that will help large corporations and hurt consumers.

I don’t understand how anyone with a good conscience can be this stubborn and ignore the facts. If I were in office and thousands of people hated me and told me I was doing something wrong, they are probably right. I don’t care how much money ISPs are putting in my pockets, I have morals. Actually, I’d take their money and still do what was best for the public – fuck ’em.

So if you support the repeal of Net Neutrality after reading all of this, you’re either (1) a moron who doesn’t understand how the internet works (2) controlled/paid for by evil corporations or (3) blindly siding with Republicans just because you hate Democrats and they support Net Neutrality.

Ajit Pai – I hope you die in a bus fire.

PS – Drawing a dick on Ajit Pai’s face in MS Paint was extremely satisfying and therapeutic.

Whack Ass WiFi Issue

Portfolioso November 25, 2017 Computer/ Tech Related

Someone send me a Broadcomm engineer, electrical engineer and a physicist! I have a whack technical issue on my work laptop that makes less than zero sense to me.

So I’m on FiOS and have symmetrical 75/75MBPS service… And I notice that pages are loading slow. So I do a speed test and I’m getting 1MBPS down and 10MBPS up… Odd… Here’s a bullet list of things I did to troubleshoot (using bullets to get to the point so you’re not reading a giant block of text):

  • Checked other devices on the network and they were all fine; getting full speed
  • Rebooted the laptop [didn’t work]
  • Reinstalled the wireless drivers [didn’t work]
  • Rebooted the router/access point for shits and giggles [didn’t work]
  • Unplugged my laptop AC adapter [WORKED] (wtf?)

So… the AC adapter is causing some kind of interference. What the hell could this be? Is it a problem with the adapter brick causing interference? Or is it a hardware issue with my radio in the laptop?

  • I tested this on another laptop on and off AC power, and that was fine, so it’s not any kind of electrical problem

Here’s where it gets really whack though:

It only happens on the 5ghz band; not the 2.4… So to further test this out, I also reproduced this off my FiOS network with my LTE hotspot…

  • Laptop on battery; using 2.4 ghz band on my LTE hotspot [works fine]
  • Laptop on AC power; using 2.4 ghz band on my LTE hotspot [works fine]
  • Laptop on AC power; using 2.4 ghz band on my LTE hotspot with the hotspot plugged in to a wall outlet [works fine]
  • Laptop on battery; using 5 ghz band on my LTE hotspot [works fine]
  • Laptop on AC power; using 5 ghz band on my LTE hotspot [works fine]
  • Laptop on AC power; using 5 ghz band on my LTE hotspot with the hotspot plugged in to a wall outlet [SLOW]

Also repeated the tests above on FiOS home Wifi and got the same results.  WUT in the actual fuck is going on here?

I don’t have enough info to narrow it down between the AC adapter (need to get a new one from work) or if it’s just a faulty broadcomm chip where the shielding is all jacked up and getting interference. Who knows.

Yo IT people – gimme a new laptop kthxbai. Ain’t got no time for this shit

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