Tag: Chats

Reality Check Needed

Portfolioso December 5, 2011 No Comments Useless Update

RockNation dude needs a reality check. Apparently he thinks sitting next to a Rockette is the equivalent to “almost banging a Rockette.”

According to him, it’s closer than I’ve gotten. That’s nonsense. With my swagger, I can get a Rockette in 2 seconds if I felt like it.

Read bottom up:

 

PS -FUCK not having a smartphone. In order to get a screenshot on this piece of shit, I literally took a picture of my phone’s screen.

Anyone Who Goes Black Friday Shopping is Out of their Minds

Portfolioso November 25, 2011 No Comments Useless Update

Danny IMs me last night and was like “bro come out shopping with us.” And I’m like “Dude. What are you a woman? What are you some kind of moron?”  Seriously. I just got home from eating all day. I took like 5 shits, broke my chair because I’m fat and gained like 73 pounds.

But in all honesty… Who goes Black Friday shopping? F that noise. Bunch of savages pepper spraying each other, stampeding each other to the death and just straight up occupying all of the stores like homeless. There’s no way in hell you’ll find me out in that war zone. It’s called Cyber Monday. You go on newegg.com and buy all of your shit without getting off your ass. Tax free. Fuck paying tax because fuck all kinds of government – they all suck.

Then John sent me a chat on the Google machine and I swear, it changed my mind in 2 seconds flat:

If I didn’t have to work, I would have gone, just for the party. I still wouldn’t have bought anything. Online. Duh.

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