Tag: Weather

Stop Defending This Fucking Heatwave

Portfolioso July 22, 2011 No Comments Useless Update

Want to know what the best part of this heatwave is? I got a the Epic Swarm Foursquare badge out of it. Otherwise, nothing.

Fuck the summer. You have to waste like millions of killowathours running ACs just to stay comfortable in small spaces, then when you walk out, it’s insta-hot. The trains and subways smell like sweat and the platforms are literally 125 degrees.

Here’s another fine excerpt of my laws of flawless logic. There is one reason why it’s better to be cold. You can always add more layers and get warm. Nuff said. If it’s hot and you’re ass naked, you’re still hot (but not as hot as me) and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Why are there like 40 people defending this shit?

Even the Rocknation dude called me out.

 

 

So I go on Facebook and people are like:

HEY all YOU hating on the heat: please take your negativity to antarctica because you’ll be complaining about the snow again in a good 5 months. embrace the sunshine.

1) I won’t be complaining about snow. 2) I can embrace the sunshine when its 70, not 104.

To those complaining about the heat….newsflash, it’s July. And it was snowing in March. Stop.

Suck it. It’s not 100 every day in July, and I like snow.

Winter: Boo hoo it’s so cold, my car’s stuck in the snow! Summer: Oh no, it’s so hot! I <3 summer and I’m not looking forward to winter at all.

Get a car that doesn’t get stuck in snow. Bam!

People make me laugh.

This is Why I Hate Summer

Portfolioso July 2, 2010 No Comments Useless Update

Screenshot on my left is my biggest horror of summer. It was just in the 70s for the past two days with no humidity and it was glorious. Now we’re about to enter  a never ending 90+ heatwave. Unless I’m on vacation on the beach or at a pool, there is no reason for it to be that hot.

Fuck summer. Fuck the heat. Give me cold. Give me snow. I’m moving to Canada or Alaska.

See people don’t understand: if you’re cold, you can always snuggle, put on a sweatshirt, blankets, layers etc and be cozy. If its 90, you’re screwed unless you have an AC.

Is it fall yet?

OMG Severe Weather Alert

Portfolioso January 5, 2009 No Comments Rants ,

This is where I get enraged. I hate over-exaggeration and utter stupidity. The Weather Channel has a habit of doing that: “zomgz guys, blizzard warning (aka one inch of snow). Stockpile food, buy blankets, buy shovels, get generators. Prepare for the end of the world.” Chill, it’s an inch of snow, it’ll melt tomorrow. That was two years ago. The exaggeration has gotten much worse, I am not even making this up, but this was a severe alert I clicked from their Google weather gadget. I’ll tell you what’s severe: the amount of work that needs to be done to prevent this stupidity:

 

They put out a severe weather alert for light rain and above freezing temperatures. It’s not even a downpour or icy roads. Of course the road will get wet, it’s rain – morons. Coming next year: “Severe weather alert: Partly cloudy. Hey you never know…” You lost all your credibility, go away I’ll do my own weather from now on.

No Patience for Stupidity

Portfolioso December 1, 2008 No Comments Rants ,

I woke up this morning after a 2 hour, disturbed sleep (because I have way too much on my mind this week) to go to a class. I have a few spare minutes before I head out so I throw on some TV and Fox 61 news. Being from around New York (where we have legitimate news broadcasts), I usually don’t have access to this inferior Fox feed.

So the meteorologist comes on to do the weather and he’s recapping the 2008 hurricane season, stating that it’s officially over and gave some general information about it. Then he goes on to make a fool out of himself and says (I quote directly, no bull) “Well hurricane season is over. Meteorologically speaking, today’s the first day of winter.” Okay buddy, I don’t know where you got your degree from, but since when is December 1st the first day of winter? I think it’s common knowledge (and anyone in an 8th grade earth science class can back me up on this) that the winter solstice does not begin until December 21st. Actually I lied, people are generally ignorant with science. That’s fine. But you are a meteorologist, probably have a degree in this area and are on television. Get your facts right. I have no patience for this stupidity to be broadcast on the air. This is why the majority of people in this country are stupid. This was an absolute outrage and set me into a sour mood learning that these so called “professionals” have no idea what they are talking about and are spewing ignorance to the public.

So this other time, I’m in Bridgeport picking up some food and some other stupid moron is like. “Man I can’t wait until January 1st until we gots our new president.” Go pick your brain out of your teef, put it back in your head and learn something about the country you live in. I just have no comment. I bet there are morons out there who, if you go around asking who the president is, will reply “Obama.” I’ll be moving to my own island nation soon. Women (smart ones) and a high speed internet connection will be readily available, there will be no copyright law and we secede from the United States of Ignorance.

AOL + Meteorologists = Disaster

Portfolioso April 26, 2004 No Comments Useless Update

Yeah so I’m sitting here listening to the rain slam against my windows. So I went on AOL to delete some spam that their shitty filters miss. So on the main startup page, there is a little weather section with a 3 day forecast and the current weather. They do a really good job. Anyway – today’s forecast:

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