Tag: Yankees

Everyone’s Making Fun of Brett Gardner RN, But I Respect the Hell out of Him

June 10, 2019


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Couple days ago, Brett Garner got pissed off because he was robbed of a home run by Indians’ outfielder Jordan Luplow, who made a spectacular play in the outfield. So he throws his helmet and it hits him in the lip:

But what you don’t realize was this:

Dude played the entire slow-assed baseball game with his lip gaped open (granted, he went 0-4). He waited until after the game to get stitched with no novocaine!!! Wat?!?!?! He’s a damn robot. You never see him injured, and he still plays even if he is.

You understand how rare this is in Major League Baseball nowadays? 99% of MLB players are weaklings – seems like a daily event that players end up on the disabled list injured list. Mark Texiera, a wimpy, weak asshole, was the biggest offender of all time. God forbid he ever would have tried to throw his helmet – dude would have strained his vagina lifting the damn thing off his head. See, Brett Gardner is a hockey player-like tank. Tough as they get. He’s the closest thing to Paul O’Neill’s temper the team has got going on right now. I’d legit be afraid of him if I were an opposing player and would not want to deal with him in any kind of brawl or have him rush the mound. Gardy can’t control his rage when he isn’t doing so hot, and looks like he’s going to end you. And you know what? You need that shit. Without any fire, you’re not going to win ballgames. Yankees were slumping, guy almost hits a home run, and it gets robbed! Of course you need to get fired up about that. You can’t just mope around and be like “boo hiss we lost 8 of our last 10.” Get angry! Do better! If you want to split your lip open in a self-inflicted rage incident, so be it. Just stay off the injured list and win ballgames. It’s that simple.

The Yankees are a Fucking Disaster

April 1, 2019


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Absolute disgrace losing the opening series to the minor league Orioles. Before you say “oh what a typical Yankee fan – it’s only the third game of the season, relax.” No. I won’t relax. You don’t lose two out of three to a garbage dump team. I don’t care if it’s early, middle or the end of the season. Wins add up. If they don’t cut this out right now, there’s no way they’ll get anywhere this season. This is how you lose the damn division – by blowing easy to win series. Besides opening day, they looked like middle schoolers making joke errors in the field and no one knows how to hit anymore with runners in scoring position. This is some NY Mets level shit.

No pressure or anything but the Yankees made a World Series appearance every decade since the 1920s and have not in the 2010s… So if they don’t this year, the whole decade is a disaster. Steinbrenner’s spinning in his grave right now.

Get the Fuck Off My Team: Phil Hughes Edition

LoHud Yankees Blog -Another bad one for Phil Hughes, who’s lost eight of his past 10 decisions since May 15. He has a 5.11 ERA in those starts, and has allowed five or more earned runs in five of those outings. It’s been like a nightmare I can’t wake up from, Hughes said. It’s like a battle every time, even if I have a good start. It’s not easy. On a day like this, it’s really disappointing. I’m not going to stop working. I’ve got to fight to get out of this. It’s going to take work on the side. That’s all I can do.

This guy fucking sucks. No excuses. No idea why everyone has a hard on for this guy. He’s lousy. Get the fuck off my team, you’re useless. Cashman is an idiot. Should have dealt this guy for minor league talent. The season is already over. Might as well rebuild this shitty-assed, battered, no name excuse of a team we have this 2013 season.

PS – I already cuncelled da Hughes via twitter on April 15th

Has Brian Cashman Lost His Fucking Mind?

This man is 100% outside his mind and I’m more confident in the fucking MTA than the Yankees this season. This gentleman is absolutely wreckless. What a flop of an offseason. The Yankees are pulling some Mets-ass shit right now. Absoluteembarrassment. Cashman is going around skydiving, breaking bones and tweeting at a bunch of antiques because he can’t even get ahold of their agents. Derick Lee? Chipper Jones? Scot Rolen? These motherfuckers were in their prime in like 1997. Jesus Fucking Christ. I’d rather pull some asshole out of AAA than to pay millions of dollars to these washed up jokers.

I haven’t even been following the Yankees that closely this offseason with the exception that their team is on average 46 years old, Arod is a whiny bitch who should have gotten his contract voided and a Texiera keeps pulling his vagina muscle.

PREDICTION: Yankees will finish with a 77-86 record.

The Yankees are So Fucked in 2013, It’s Not Even Funny

Fuckin old man team. They’re lucky if we finish in 3rd this year! You have A-Rod’s ‘roid shrunken balls for 5 more years and everyone else is an old bag. Matter of fact, here’s the team getting ready to head out for Spring Training: