Tag: MTA

The MTA Can Blow Me With Their Toll Gates

Portfolioso October 25, 2015 No Comments Rants

I was driving over the Whitestone Bridge tonight and some asshole in front of us didn’t have enough money on his EZPass. The fucking toll gate was down and it caused a backup for 5 minutes. We had to wait for some asshole MTA traffic cop to come over, get his license plate and manually override the gate.

You fucking idiots. It’s 2015. Why is this necessary. Remove the God damn gates and put cameras up. Can’t you see how much money this will save? Just let them through, take a picture of their plates and send them a bill in the mail. If they don’t pay, fine them and don’t let them renew the registration on the car  until it’s paid. Idiots. You’ll make more money that way.

  1. The gates use unnecessary electric to move them up and down, which is a waste of money and pollutes the environment.
  2. They are mechanical and can break, which means you need to pay some asshole overtime to fix them.
  3. You won’t need to pay as many MTA traffic cops to sit there and get union benefits and make more pension money after they’re retired than entry level professionals do.
  4. You won’t cause traffic backups

Everyone wins. Remove the fucking gates and put cameras in. No wonder the tolls go up every 20 minutes. Christ, the MTA is backwards. Port Authority bridges don’t have toll gates. What is this 1950?

Can I Just Ask for One Thing? Just One

Portfolioso February 12, 2013 No Comments Rants

Will you niggas stop jumping/fighting/fucking/walking and doing crime on train tracks? For fucks sake. I have to get home. My shit is delayed like seven days a week and twice on Sundays because some fucking idiot gets hit by a train or people are on the tracks fucking around. Stop. Fucking kill yourselves or fight elsewhere. I have places to go.  First off, If you are responsible for delaying my train, you don’t even deserve to die because that’s the easy way out. I hope you live and continue on with your miserable life. The 6:36 train from Grand Central which should be in at 7 actually got in about 7:30 two nights in a row which is a bunch of bullshit. Fucking thing is never on time.

*By niggas, I mean all people in general. It’s just an expression. Hop off my dick before calling me a racist.

The 4/5 Lexington Avenue Line Runs Like Dick

Portfolioso August 21, 2012 No Comments Rants

The 4 and the 5 trains are possibly the shittiest trains in the world. These fucking trains break down every 5 minutes. I am sick of getting email spammed of alerts because basically, yous hould just assume this line is broken down and delayed. What kind of piece of shit signals and mechanical failures exist that this happens like every day 10 times a day.

Look at this shit. Fucking MTA

 

If The Subway Turnstyle Swipe Reader Messes Up, I’m Jumping The Fuck Over It

Portfolioso August 3, 2012 No Comments Rants

  • Swipe Card
  • “Please Reswipe”
  • I swipe again
  • “Please Reswipe”
  • I swipe again
  • “Too Soon”

Today I jumped the fuck over a subway turnstyle in front of like 100 people at rush hour because the stupid ass thing refused to read my card and then locked me out. I looked like an asshole over there holding up 40 people because the shit wouldn’t read. What kind of a stupid ass turnstyle fails to read the card 3 times and then says “sorry, too soon- you can’t come in.” Fuck that noise.  So no, I didn’t do anything wrong because I get unlimited rides anyway. It just screwed up. I was almost waiting for a cop to give me shit because I would have lost it on him/her

Besides that, it was 100 fuckin degrees, I was in a fighting mood because bitches stop on the fucking steps. Some fucker looked at me funny when I hopped it and I was like “Fuckin arrest me bitch.” It was 100% justified. Because I pay the stupid assed MTA like a bajillion dollars per month for unlimited use their shitty services and they can’t even have turnstyles that read my fucking card.  You think I’m paying another $2.25 because their shit fucked up? Outside of your mind, I’m not giving them spit. The fucking things even say no tokens, that’s how old they are.

This isn’t even the first time this happened to me, that’s what gets me. One time I was at a station with a ceiling to floor barricade thingy and I had to go to the window and tell the stupid bitch to let me in because it fucked up.

Fuckin MTA.

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