Category: Sports

Everyone’s Making Fun of Brett Gardner RN, But I Respect the Hell out of Him

June 10, 2019


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Couple days ago, Brett Garner got pissed off because he was robbed of a home run by Indians’ outfielder Jordan Luplow, who made a spectacular play in the outfield. So he throws his helmet and it hits him in the lip:

But what you don’t realize was this:

Dude played the entire slow-assed baseball game with his lip gaped open (granted, he went 0-4). He waited until after the game to get stitched with no novocaine!!! Wat?!?!?! He’s a damn robot. You never see him injured, and he still plays even if he is.

You understand how rare this is in Major League Baseball nowadays? 99% of MLB players are weaklings – seems like a daily event that players end up on the disabled list injured list. Mark Texiera, a wimpy, weak asshole, was the biggest offender of all time. God forbid he ever would have tried to throw his helmet – dude would have strained his vagina lifting the damn thing off his head. See, Brett Gardner is a hockey player-like tank. Tough as they get. He’s the closest thing to Paul O’Neill’s temper the team has got going on right now. I’d legit be afraid of him if I were an opposing player and would not want to deal with him in any kind of brawl or have him rush the mound. Gardy can’t control his rage when he isn’t doing so hot, and looks like he’s going to end you. And you know what? You need that shit. Without any fire, you’re not going to win ballgames. Yankees were slumping, guy almost hits a home run, and it gets robbed! Of course you need to get fired up about that. You can’t just mope around and be like “boo hiss we lost 8 of our last 10.” Get angry! Do better! If you want to split your lip open in a self-inflicted rage incident, so be it. Just stay off the injured list and win ballgames. It’s that simple.

The Yankees are a Fucking Disaster

April 1, 2019


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Absolute disgrace losing the opening series to the minor league Orioles. Before you say “oh what a typical Yankee fan – it’s only the third game of the season, relax.” No. I won’t relax. You don’t lose two out of three to a garbage dump team. I don’t care if it’s early, middle or the end of the season. Wins add up. If they don’t cut this out right now, there’s no way they’ll get anywhere this season. This is how you lose the damn division – by blowing easy to win series. Besides opening day, they looked like middle schoolers making joke errors in the field and no one knows how to hit anymore with runners in scoring position. This is some NY Mets level shit.

No pressure or anything but the Yankees made a World Series appearance every decade since the 1920s and have not in the 2010s… So if they don’t this year, the whole decade is a disaster. Steinbrenner’s spinning in his grave right now.

#YeahJeets Has Gotta Be 100% True Since It’s On Barstool and Reddit

Few years back in college, a buddy of mine told me a story about Jeter getting a BJ from one of his friend’s friends and he was all like “Yeah Jeets.” Welp, it’s been an inside joke between us and we used to get hammered at the stadium and scream it at the top of our lungs when he was at bat. Either way, I couldn’t confirm this was true, but it was still funny. WELL……. Now that Barstool and Reddit broke the story, I’m sold. There’s a 100% chance this actually happened:



MLB Is a Fucking Joke


Just like America and its idiotic legal system, Major League Baseball is an absolute joke and powerless organization. So you mean to tell me that if you suspend a dude for 211 games, he can appeal and then you can’t even process it before September? How are you supposed to make an example out of people? So basically, this dude just got banned for 2 years, but can finish the season? What kind of powerless, idiotic organization is this? Do the Yankees still have to pay him?

Fuck this. I hope ARod bats .600, juices 24/7 and single-handedly takes the Yankees to the World Series. Fuck it. Un-cuncel da Yankees.

Get the Fuck Off My Team: Phil Hughes Edition

LoHud Yankees Blog -Another bad one for Phil Hughes, who’s lost eight of his past 10 decisions since May 15. He has a 5.11 ERA in those starts, and has allowed five or more earned runs in five of those outings. It’s been like a nightmare I can’t wake up from, Hughes said. It’s like a battle every time, even if I have a good start. It’s not easy. On a day like this, it’s really disappointing. I’m not going to stop working. I’ve got to fight to get out of this. It’s going to take work on the side. That’s all I can do.

This guy fucking sucks. No excuses. No idea why everyone has a hard on for this guy. He’s lousy. Get the fuck off my team, you’re useless. Cashman is an idiot. Should have dealt this guy for minor league talent. The season is already over. Might as well rebuild this shitty-assed, battered, no name excuse of a team we have this 2013 season.

PS – I already cuncelled da Hughes via twitter on April 15th