Category: Sports

#YeahJeets Has Gotta Be 100% True Since It’s On Barstool and Reddit

Portfolioso November 19, 2013 No Comments Sports

Few years back in college, a buddy of mine told me a story about Jeter getting a BJ from one of his friend’s friends and he was all like “Yeah Jeets.” Welp, it’s been an inside joke between us and we used to get hammered at the stadium and scream it at the top of our lungs when he was at bat. Either way, I couldn’t confirm this was true, but it was still funny. WELL……. Now that Barstool and Reddit broke the story, I’m sold. There’s a 100% chance this actually happened:



MLB Is a Fucking Joke

Portfolioso August 5, 2013 No Comments Rants, Sports


Just like America and its idiotic legal system, Major League Baseball is an absolute joke and powerless organization. So you mean to tell me that if you suspend a dude for 211 games, he can appeal and then you can’t even process it before September? How are you supposed to make an example out of people? So basically, this dude just got banned for 2 years, but can finish the season? What kind of powerless, idiotic organization is this? Do the Yankees still have to pay him?

Fuck this. I hope ARod bats .600, juices 24/7 and single-handedly takes the Yankees to the World Series. Fuck it. Un-cuncel da Yankees.

Get the Fuck Off My Team: Phil Hughes Edition

Portfolioso August 5, 2013 No Comments Rants, Sports

LoHud Yankees Blog – Another bad one for Phil Hughes, who’s lost eight of his past 10 decisions since May 15. He has a 5.11 ERA in those starts, and has allowed five or more earned runs in five of those outings. “It’s been like a nightmare I can’t wake up from,” Hughes said. “It’s like a battle every time, even if I have a good start. It’s not easy. On a day like this, it’s really disappointing. I’m not going to stop working. I’ve got to fight to get out of this. It’s going to take work on the side. That’s all I can do.”

This guy fucking sucks. No excuses. No idea why everyone has a hard on for this guy. He’s lousy. Get the fuck off my team, you’re useless. Cashman is an idiot. Should have dealt this guy for minor league talent. The season is already over. Might as well rebuild this shitty-assed, battered, no name excuse of a team we have this 2013 season.

PS – I already cuncelled da Hughes via twitter on April 15th

Texiera Injured his Vagina Again

Portfolioso June 18, 2013 No Comments Sports


LoHud Yankees Blog – The Yankees have made a flurry of announcements in my short time at the Stadium today. First, it was announced that Mark Teixeira is heading back onto the disabled list with inflammation in his oft-injured right wrist. While the early indications are that the Yankees expect Tex to return shortly after his 15-day DL stint has concluded, the news for Kevin Youkilis is worse.

I was never a Texiera fan. Sorry. Maybe he was amazing before the Yankees, but he hasn’t proven it since he’s gotten here. Facts is facts. Dude is 100% useless in April. Then there’s a 100% chance that he ends up on the DL for at least 4-5 months with a swollen vajay.


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