Category: Useless Update

How Pimp is this Small Assed Ping Pong Ball Apartment?

January 22, 2011

Useless Update

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Snarkitecture – A pied-à-terre as permanent residence, Box/Box is an apartment for Snarkitecture partner Daniel Arsham. A 90 square foot private hideaway contained within a larger 2,500 square foot collaborative workspace, the project was conceived as an accelerated design/build experiment and was completed within a two-month period at a cost of less than $100 per square foot.

How fucking pimp is an apartment above your office that’s 90 square feet and lined with ping pong balls?? This thing cost less than a G to build? I’ll take 3!! You kidding me? Ladder access to a room with a queen sized bed? You’re hired, Mr. Architect – sign me up. It’s not a matter of wanting this – I NEED this. If this was in my office, I’d be up there power napping like a boss all day long. I’d even be able potato sack a sales girl or two in and invite them up. Absolutely no one would be able to refuse this setup. I could probably get Bar Refaeliup there.

I don’t care that it’s only 90 square feet – it would be the perfect place to crash whenever I’m out in the city. You know how much of a pain in the ass it is to get back to the burbs from the city if you’re all the way on the west side or downtown? Train gets in at 1AM, old folks yelling at you because their bedtime is 10PM, sure as SHIT can’t roll back with anyone – what a waste. One phone call: “Welp, stayin in the city tonight” and I’m set. Bring the biddies back, pop champagne, yatta yatta yatta. Good shit. Next day, kick them the hell out, climb back down the ladder and end up right back at work.

Add a flatscreen, laptop/ internet and I’m golden. Heaven.

Sometimes…

January 17, 2011

Useless Update

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In honor of MLK Jr. Day and women being assholes, enjoy...

If you Strangle Yourself to Death with a Neck Massager, You Deserve to Die

December 30, 2010

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MSNBC A Florida woman’s death apparently was caused when an electric neck massager became ensnared on her necklace and strangled her, sheriff’s investigators said on Wednesday.The woman, 37-year-old physician Michelle Ferrari-Gegerson, had been wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve and used the massager to relieve neck pain, Broward County Sheriff’s investigators said.

Jesus Christ. Here we go again with idiot America. Please explain to me how a neck massager can wrap a necklace tight enough around a person’s neck to cause death? It’s not like it has moving parts right? Doesn’t it just vibrate. If you manage that, you deserve to die. Simple as that. This moron didn’t have the common sense to run outside and get help? Shut it off? Rip the necklace off ?

Goodbye.

PS – Bottom line is, this story is complete horse shit. She really asphyxiated herself to death. Massager wasn’t anywhere near her neck. Guaranteed.

Schnappi

December 29, 2010

Useless Update

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What the fuck is going on over here? Is this a kids video or some Germans on acid?

Bring Me this Archbishop’s Pimp Staff

December 25, 2010

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image

Timothy Dolan at Midnight Mass at St. Patrick’s, just tearing it up with the bling staff.

Imagine the bitches you could pick up with that thing? Such a waste for a bishop to have. I mean the thing probably sits in the closet all year. I could take that thing to the Grape and shit.

PS – I’m not going to hell for thinking this, right? God would side with me. He’d think that would be more useful to me than some old bishop dude.