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Is this Bullshit Summer Over Yet? Summer in NYC Blows

I fucking despise summer. Summer in New York is one of the most miserable experiences ever. Period. Fuckin… the worst thing is dressing up in hot ass uncomfortable business clothes every day and standing like a sardine next to smelly, filthy motherfuckers and homeless on the subway for extended amounts of time because “ladies and gentlemen, we are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us. Thank you for your patience.” What the fuck is train traffic? Its a fuckin one way rail. How does that shit get delayed? Its not like some asshole got a flat tire and blocked the road, although with how shitty the MTA is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it WAS possible for those broken down shitpile trains to get flat tires.

It’s humid, there are millions of asshole tourists walking around, getting in my way. I’m sweaty, grumpy, pissy. My trains are delayed, the office AC is not cold enough, people smell like shit, people walk too slow, I can roast a chicken on the subway platforms. Fuck this noise.

I’ve come to the realization that unless I’m at the beach, there is absolutely no reason for it to be above 55 degrees.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love and need seasons, or I’d get bored. But we all know summer is virtually over after July 4ths like some unwritten rule. Once there are no more company holidays, its all bullshit.

Viva la fall!

PS – posted this shit from my Nexus 7 and the WordPress app. If it looks shitty, my bad. Love this stupid waste of money. Also, fuck Apple.

I have No Mercy For People Who Kill Themselves on Train Tracks and Delay My Commute

CT Post-The man struck and killed Saturday by a Metro-North train behind theKings Highway Stop & Shopsupermarket had been lying on the tracks, officials saidSunday.Michael Leary, 51, of New Milford, was killed instantly when an eastbound train struck him at 6:26 p.m.,Metropolitan Transportation AuthorityspokesmanSalvatore Arenasaid.Leary was pronounced dead at the scene by the state medical examiner. He was identified by personal documents found on hisbody.On June 6, Leary had been issued a summons by MTA Police for trespassing on the Metro-North tracks at the same spot where he was killed Saturday, Arenasaid.Saturday’s train was packed with about 350 passengers who were delayed for 90 minutes while authorities investigated at the scene of thefatality.

This never happened to me, but God fobid it ever does because I’d lose it. Fuck you Michael Leary. These motherfuckers get off too easily. Fucking… If you want to kill yourself, suffocate yourself with a plastic bag, slit yourjugularor wrists, drown yourself (but not off a bridge to stop traffic), lock yourself in a garage and start your car and die of COpositioning… Whatever. But don’t you fucking dareinconvenienceother people you selfish mother fucker. I’m sorry. If some fuckface kills himself and I have to get delayed 90 minutes on a train, that’s some bullshit.

Instead of dying, you should be paralyzed for life so you can think about how miserable you are and how you inconvenienced 350 people for 90 minutes. That’s 31,500 minutes (21.5 days) of people’s time you wasted. You know what the MTA should do? Drive over the asshole and clean up their tracks overnight when there are no trains and fuck it. Just dump the body in a river mafioso style and go on their merry way. Dying instantly is too easy of a punishment for this asshole. Because I have no mercy for people who waste my time.

#ihavefuckingangerissuesrightnowsogofuckyourself

Rush Hour Rant: Close the Doors And Leave Already

You know what pisses me off to no end? The subway conductor jokeshops who are in charge of the doors. They never do it right. I HATE the following:

When the train is in the station for like 3 minutes just chilling with the doors open
Holy shit I hate this. People just keep coming in and you end up crushed to death. I read a thing somewhere that said the doors had to be opened for no less than 30 seconds. Open it

When the doors close but the train doesn’t leave
GO ALREADY!! Holy crap I have places to be. Good train conductor people pull out like 1 second after the doors close. There’s nothing more shitty than me missing my other train because the subways took like 9 hours pull out once the doors were closed.

SUCKS.

More Reasons the MTA Doesn’t Make Any Sense Whatsoever

Just got this subway alert. What a fucking joke. Someone is sick at 42nd st, so we’re going to skip stations in between 42nd and 14th st. Oh and while we’re at it, we’re not going to go past 86th St because we’re lazies. Does this make ANY sense whatsoever?

Why Do The NYC Subway Turnstyles Still Say No Tokens?

Is this shit for real? Why do turnstyles still say no tokens? It’s like 2011. The MetroCard existed since 1993 and was mainstream in like 1999. Tokens were eliminated by 2003. There’s not even a slot to put tokens anywhere. No shit you can’t use tokens. Can’t they think of a better message to put there? It might as well say “No unicorns or rainbows”

Fucking MTA.