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Archive for February, 2010

Bad Engineering: Floor Ducts

February 25th, 2010 4:30pm No comments

Please explain to me why anyone would put AC/heat ducts on the floor. They belong on the wall a few inches above ground. And this rant starts my new series “Bad Engineering” where I will rant about dumbass engineers who don’t use common sense when building stuff. And make sure you have a strong stomach before reading on.

Why it’s bad

I live in a college house with 5 guys. College guys shit a lot. Our toilet clogs every 43 minutes. When it overflows, where does the water go? Right into the stupid hole in the floor. I’m pretty sure it’s bad for water to go into our furnace. Then we wonder why this house smells like mold, piss and shit. I’m pretty sure we’ve had drunks piss and puke down those ducts at some point. Don’t even get me started with the kitchen. I’ve seen crumbs, hot dogs, potato chips and eggs get emptied into them. It’s nasty and uncalled for, and wouldn’t happen if some dipshit engineer put them on a vertical wall off the ground.

Solution

Put them on the wall about a foot off the ground. Problem solved. It’s not that hard.

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Professors Like to Rob Students Blind

February 1st, 2010 10:28pm No comments

Business lesson with Dr. Portfolioso, CEO of Portfolioso Industries. We will be discussing how to cut costs regarding book purchasing for a management class I am taking

So a week ago, I get an email from one of my professors before class starts. “I will be buying your books. Bring me $100” Well gee, thanks a lot, that’s a lot of money. I’ll take care of buying my own books, not you, and here’s why:

So I get to class tonight and he brings us 6 different books. Me being an OCD control freak, come back and do some magical Excel calculations. First, I add up the retail price on the books. The professor claimed to have purchased these books at a 50% discount from a local mom and pop bookstore. So first I add up the retail prices on all 6 books: ($15.00 + $18.00 + $15.00 + $14.95 + $14.95 + $14.95 = $92.75). Add in about 7% sales tax and you’re around $100. Okay so this guy was completely bullshitting us about his discount, but at least the figures add up and he’s not stealing my money.

But here’s what pisses me off. I usually buy books on Amazon.com. So I do two more calculations. First, I calculate the cost of buying them new from Amazon, with free shipping if they were all combined: $21.15 + $9.75 + $9.85 + $10.17 + $10.17 + $10.17 = 71.26. Add some tax and you’re around $76.

But F that. I don’t need new pristine books. As long as I can read them, I will get them used – who cares. Normal professors list their books before the course starts, along with the authors and editions so I can grab them off Amazon, which is how I normally buy my books. So I added up buying them used on Amazon from various sellers. Including shipping, we’ve got: $8.94 + $6.98 + $7.98 + $8.18 + $8.54 + $8.17 = $48.79

Someone tell this mother fucker he owes me $51.21. This greedy bitch makes over $100,000 per year. I am poor. Cut me some slack, Jack. By the way, thank Christ this is the last semester I need to buy books. It’s all one huge sham.

Moral of the story: This “management professor” is a terrible manager because he can’t cut costs. Everyone knows you need to save money. Under my system, I would have saved $51.21. This is why this jokeface is only a professor of management and doesn’t actually manage anything in real life. Okay, this is only like $50, but in corporations, we’re talking millions. It’s the same concept though. People like him break this economy and drive companies to the ground.

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