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Connecticut Drivers Suck

I have come to the conclusion that all Connecticut drivers suck on the grounds that every single time I drive around, people make the same assenine maneuvers and amateur mistakes. The first two make me rage and are the most frequent issues I see on the road in this joke state:

They can’t stay in their damn lane
STOP DRIVING IN THE SHOULDER. Christ. There’s a white line there for a reason. You’re going to hit the curb or hit a parked car. Every single time I drive, it is inevitable that people can’t keep their cars in the right lane. Why not? Why must you drift into the shoulder? It’s not that hard.

They never signal
I hate driving behind someone who just slows down for no reason to make a turn – without warning me first. You shithead, this is how people get rammed from behind. And thanks for cutting me off on the highway, assknuckle.

They don’t know how to drive around people waiting to make a left turn
I swear to God, whenever someone is making a left and there is oncoming traffic, I always get stuck behind someone who doesn’t understand that you can drive around. I could fit a damn truck through half of the time, but people just stop and act clueless. Usually, I can’t go around the two cars because the second asshole, who should have driven around to begin with, is in the shoulder because it’s so hard to keep the car between two lines.

They either are too passive or too aggressive
You never get anyone who is just right. People either cut you off and drive like maniacs, or are way too slow and get in your way.

Stop riding your brakes on the highway
I hate morons on highways who brake downhill. Really, stop it. That’s the easiest way to need a brake job every 1,400 miles. Second of all, just roll down the hill and go faster. You get better gas mileage and I won’t have to brake either and wear my brakes out.

They can’t park
There are lines for a reason. Park in them. Aren’t you embarrassed that you look like an asshole because your car is crooked? Take another 30 seconds and fix it.

Rich people with fancy cars can do whatever they want
In the Connecticut DMV book, it states that if you are loaded in Fairfield county and drive a Beemer, Benz or Bentley, you are exempt from all traffic rules. Besides, your car is the shit and automatically rules the road. No one else is good enough and only you have the right to do whatever else you want, with no regard for anyone else.

Come to New York, and learn to drive like us. Peace.