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Bro Watching TV on his iPad2 Needs to Get Out of My Way While Walking

March 14th, 2011 8:48pm Leave a comment

WSJ – Researchers say the concept of “sidewalk rage” is real. One scientist has even developed a Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome Scale to map out how people express their fury. At its most extreme, sidewalk rage can signal a psychiatric condition known as “intermittent explosive disorder,” researchers say. On Facebook, there’s a group called “I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Back of the Head” that boasts nearly 15,000 members.

Fucking shrinks, making up nonsensical disorders such as “intermittent explosive disorder” trying to make more money treating you for stuff that isn’t even real. Is it in the DSM IV? Doubtful. But it will be added soon. You know what is real? Shitheads who get in my way when I have somewhere to go. I HATE slow walkers.  If you walk slow, fine. So be it. But just do it in a place where I don’t get stuck behind you. Because then I rage. I have things to do, places to go. I don’t have time to dawdle.

Like today walking off the train, there was this dude just walking with his head glued to his iPad.  Obviously, he doesn’t get over to one side and let people pass. He’s over there swaying like a drunk causing a 2mph moving roadblock with this other old decrepit bitch who has no business traveling by train. I need to get by these fuckers because there’s a smokeshow up ahead that I need to go creep on.

Obviously the iPad moron is in his own damn world and oblivious, so I can’t be polite and say excuse me (which I would have had no problem doing). The other woman was deaf. So the only solution? Get all up in their grill. Just walked right on top of their asses and start grinding. Make them uncomfortable. Pretty sure the guy watching the video had no clue but the other old bitch mumbled something under her breath and finally let me pass. Welp, she got the point at least.

I always put my iPod/music/phone etc away when I’m walking because I don’t want to be that guy. Situational awareness is important. Don’t get in people’s way and pay attention to the environment. It can save your life – either you won’t get run over by a car or someone with sidewalk rage won’t beat you up).

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