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This is an Idiotic Study Regarding Texting and Lying

September 9th, 2013 9:41am Leave a comment

Gizmodo –  Researchers at Brigham Young University found that texts containing a lie took longer to compose and were often shorter than truthful texts.  The researchers found that through exact measurement and modeling they could predict SMS lies more accurately.

This is exactly why China and India are good at math and engineering and shit, and the United States is becoming a second world bunch of idiots. Really? We needed a scientific study about how it takes people longer to lie via text message? NO SHIT.

When you lie, you need to think more so your story is bulletproof. Lying is an art – you have to be creative. It’s my policy not to lie because I have the memory of a fucking goldfish and will get caught up in it every single day of the week and twice on Sundays. For fucks sake, I just paid my credit card bill twice because I didn’t remember paying it THE DAY BEFORE. If you lie, you need to be sharp. Your story can’t have holes in it. You need to come around full circle and make sure it makes sense. This takes more time than if you’re telling the truth.

Also, it’s a stupid fucking assumption that because it takes longer to answer a text, you’re lying. Maybe I don’t like you. Maybe I’m busy….


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