NY Daily News – A person was fatally struck by a Metro-North train in the Bronx Monday afternoon, sources said.The person was hit at about 3:30 p.m. by a northbound train passing through the Botanical Garden station at Bedford Park and Kazimiroff Blvds., MTA spokeswoman Meredith Daniels said.
Sources said the death was likely a suicide. The person’s name and gender has not yet been released.MTA officials are shutting down train service on two of the four tracks at that station, which will cause delays on Metro-North’s Harlem and New Haven lines, Daniels said.
F this noise…Then they wonder whyI hit the bottle… Photo Cred: Mario Diaz/PIX11 News
You know my series of blogs “if you do x, you deserve to die?” Welp. This is the one exception. Because in this case, dying is WAY too quick, painless and easy. How selfish do you have to be to knowingly jump in front of a train and cost thousands of people hours of delays? Of all the places to kill yourself, you have to do it 1) right before rush hour and 2) on the main artery in/out of Grand Central that affects all three train lines. If you’re going tojump in front of a train in the first place, at least use your head about it, like killing yourself some other way. You’re going to make a couple ofthose poor commuters in Grand Central kill themselves next and then this will be a daily occurrence.
SoI have a solution:
Once I’m president of the MTA, thefirst thing I’m doing in office is installing cow catchers on every single train. One of these:
Metro North, LIRR, Subways. All of them need cattle pushers. You literally need them. God forbidcows in Queens escape and go onto the tracks, or something. It’ll be good for a bunch of other things, too.Blizzard? No problem? Car at a railroad crossing? No problem. Human? No problem.A simple, 19th century, inexpensive hunk of steel, something very low tech, can keep commuters moving! Jump in front of a train? No sweat, you’ll die and no one else will be disrupted. Just what everyone wanted! It’ll just toss you aside and some poor 3rd shift MTA guy can scrape your sorry ass up at 3AM when tens of thousands of people aren’t inconvenienced.
And don’t give me this “what about the family”or “investigation” or “isn’t this too insensitive”, nonsense. Someone’s gotta pay for it! For certain notthe jumperwho’s not here anymore. The hell are they gonna do? Ideally, we bring the jumper back to life for cruel and unusual punishment, but that’s not possible.
*Fine Print: Before you go around thinkingI’m a Looney Toon, this is a satire piece. But it really might not be if you’vebeen through this bullshit ten times too manyand enough is enough. This is why I need to get the fuck out of this cess pool.New York is on the decline.I can’t deal with this shit anymore. Had enough. Tapping out. Gone are the days Giuliani secretlyhad the homeless killed.No more Bloombito and his sign language translators banning giant styrofoam sodas to keep us healthy and save the environment. Instead, we’ve got de Blasio on the case putting kids through pre-k, subway slashers outon the loose, bums panhandling 100% of the time, rents through the roof, Time Warner Cable.Get lawst all-a youse. I’m gonna go move to a ranch in Montanaand live off the fatta the land. Cuncel technology, and just live in the woods with nature until the ripe old age of 83**
**Would have been 89 if I left my job and/or NYC years ago…
PPS – Maybe I’m being cocky, but I really think I should win a Pulitzer for this shit.
People: Ya Gotta Stop Jumping in Front of Trains
February 2, 2016
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Comments Off on People: Ya Gotta Stop Jumping in Front of Trains
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You know my series of blogs “if you do x, you deserve to die?” Welp. This is the one exception. Because in this case, dying is WAY too quick, painless and easy. How selfish do you have to be to knowingly jump in front of a train and cost thousands of people hours of delays? Of all the places to kill yourself, you have to do it 1) right before rush hour and 2) on the main artery in/out of Grand Central that affects all three train lines. If you’re going tojump in front of a train in the first place, at least use your head about it, like killing yourself some other way. You’re going to make a couple ofthose poor commuters in Grand Central kill themselves next and then this will be a daily occurrence.
SoI have a solution:
Once I’m president of the MTA, thefirst thing I’m doing in office is installing cow catchers on every single train. One of these:
Metro North, LIRR, Subways. All of them need cattle pushers. You literally need them. God forbidcows in Queens escape and go onto the tracks, or something. It’ll be good for a bunch of other things, too.Blizzard? No problem? Car at a railroad crossing? No problem. Human? No problem.A simple, 19th century, inexpensive hunk of steel, something very low tech, can keep commuters moving! Jump in front of a train? No sweat, you’ll die and no one else will be disrupted. Just what everyone wanted! It’ll just toss you aside and some poor 3rd shift MTA guy can scrape your sorry ass up at 3AM when tens of thousands of people aren’t inconvenienced.
And don’t give me this “what about the family”or “investigation” or “isn’t this too insensitive”, nonsense. Someone’s gotta pay for it! For certain notthe jumperwho’s not here anymore. The hell are they gonna do? Ideally, we bring the jumper back to life for cruel and unusual punishment, but that’s not possible.
*Fine Print: Before you go around thinkingI’m a Looney Toon, this is a satire piece. But it really might not be if you’vebeen through this bullshit ten times too manyand enough is enough. This is why I need to get the fuck out of this cess pool.New York is on the decline.I can’t deal with this shit anymore. Had enough. Tapping out. Gone are the days Giuliani secretlyhad the homeless killed.No more Bloombito and his sign language translators banning giant styrofoam sodas to keep us healthy and save the environment. Instead, we’ve got de Blasio on the case putting kids through pre-k, subway slashers outon the loose, bums panhandling 100% of the time, rents through the roof, Time Warner Cable.Get lawst all-a youse. I’m gonna go move to a ranch in Montanaand live off the fatta the land. Cuncel technology, and just live in the woods with nature until the ripe old age of 83**
**Would have been 89 if I left my job and/or NYC years ago…
PPS – Maybe I’m being cocky, but I really think I should win a Pulitzer for this shit.