This Video of the Batshit Teacher Singing and Cutting Students’ Hair is BANANAS

December 7, 2018

Useless Update

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This story is bananas. Probably the most absurd thing of 2018.Everything about this video and story is fascinating. It gets wilder by the minute when you watch the video:

Yowza! That lady literally lost her goddamn mind. Which leads me to the following questions:

  1. At first, I was wondering what kind of drugs make you do this? What kind of loony-juice makes a person scream the national anthem, chase after kids with scissors and cut their hair – in the middle of chemistry class? Or… What happened in her life that made her go nutzo? Or… Literally what makes you think it’s okay to act a fool like that. Even if you have the urge to do or say stupid shit – don’t you understand 1) you’ll look like a lunatic 2) people are taking video and making you viral – in a bad way and 3) just chill the fuck out and do literally anything else but that. Unfortunately, mental illness is a real thing and no matter what the circumstance, the woman needs help.
  2. If you’re that kid, how the hell are you sitting down again when that psycho bitch tells you to after she already cut your hair? How? But if some middle aged, trippin’ assed white lady came at me with scissors and started cutting my hair, I’d be like: “Bitch are you OUTSIDE your mind?” and I would bounce ASAP.
  3. The biggest question is – how does a school district hire this lady to begin with?!?! Are theythat desperate? Holy moly. Her former employment was in food safety, and a weights and measures inspector. Literally going to the local Walmart’s deli and checking to make sure their scales are accurate; shit like that. How do you go from that – to teaching high school chemistry? Chem’s hard. I was in normal people chemistry in 10th grade (not honors, and I was mostly in honors science classes) and it was still hard, but I liked it… Which brings me to my next point – school administrators usually mess everything up. The fact that this woman was suspended two times already and theystill took her back is an insult to humanity. How do you think the conversation went when they renewed her for the next year? “Uhhh, Chad? Soooo… We kinda don’t have any qualified applicants to properly teach chemistry up in this joint, but the current lunatic we have now who was suspended a couple times will have to do, okay?” “Sounds good, Constance.”

Do they not hunt around for rumors or monitor Twitter and notice things like @rafaelvazquez79 ‘s tweet: “Free Mrs. G she was hella cool and chill! Back to when she wasn’t wildin 😪” Followed by a video of her tweaking out and flipping water bottles. Pretty sure if I’m on the board or making a re-hiring decision, I’d see that on Twitter and would be like “Iight… This is going to be a lot of paperwork, but we simply cannot have this woman wildin anymore in our district. Not under my watch! First it’s just a little wildin, but before you know it, they’re bringing national attention to your school for a viral video of trying to murder kids with scissors while screaming the national anthem at the top of their lungs.”

I’m using that from now on. Anytime anyone I respected loses their mind, I’ll 100% tweet about how they were mad cool, before they were wildin’