Author: Portfolioso


Welp, Glad I Protested for No Reason… (Rant of the Century)


…Because the two dickhead NY senators still dont give a fuck about the people they represent and despite 1000+ people protesting these bullshit bills, they released anasininestatetement about how they still support S.O.P.A and P.I.P.A because they suck lobbyist dick and want to turn the U.S into the Great Firewall of Communinst ass China and eliminate all tech jobs in NYC.So Chuck Schumer and Kristen Hildebrand or whatever the fuck your names are… Suck my dick. We don’t like you. You’re both uncool. Go die in a bus fire.

PS – This country sucks mad dick. I calculated how much income tax I actually pay and I wanted to vomit all over Obama’s ballsack, then force him to eat it. I’m pretty sure I can feed like 4,000 Ethiopians for a year with the amount of mother fucking income tax I pay (even after my refund), and I don’t make jack shit and am broke as fuck.

Fuck this bullshit-assed statement full of lies from these cunty assed senators who don’t do shit but jack each other off in their offices instead of listening to the people:

There are two important issues in this debate: continued freedom of expression on the Internet and the ability to block online piracy. We believe that both sides can come together on a solution that satisfies their respective concerns.

We’ve had many discussions and held many meetings with all parts of the Internet community – from users, to members of the NY Tech Meet-up, to start-ups, to big Internet firms like Google, Facebook, and Yahoo – to hear their concerns regarding this proposed legislation, and we’ll continue those discussions.

After constructive dialogue with many in the technology community, we have worked to make an important change in the bill regarding DNS provisions. We will continue to work with our colleagues to ensure a proper balance between stopping the theft of intellectual property and copyright infringement, and doing so without the unintended consequence of stifling or censoring the internet, which we strongly oppose. We have worked to make sure there are due process protections to ensure that legal activity over the Internet is not disrupted and that the web continues to be a place of innovation, intellectual freedom, and an unrestricted platform for the free exchange of ideas and we welcome additional suggestions. While the threat to tens of thousands of New York jobs due to online piracy is real and must be addressed, it must be done in a way that allows the Internet and our tech companies to continue to flourish.

You’ll never stop mother fucking pirates. I don’t even pirate shit anymore, but if this law passes, I’ll sure as shit pirate EVERYTHING, even if I don’t want it, just because I can. Honestly though… I don’t pirate stuff anymore and I’ll buy shit if I support it. Like the Foo Fighter’s latest album… So good. Yes, I bought it. Also, Dave Grohl is a fucking G. Like, I’d probably go gay for Dave Grohl and I’m not even into penis. Come on.. The dude ripped on Glee for being a piece of shit television show. Foo’s also recorded their record in analog, without Protools and played gigs in common people’s garages in Yonkers. Rock on suckers. Thanks for being common dudes, not some rich ass rock star fucks. I support people like that, buy their albums and go to their shows. That’s how you combat fucking piracy. Not by making idiotic legislation.

Also, if Ron Paul doesn’t win in 2012, I’m becoming a terrorist. I mean, George W. Bush planned 9/11, so why shouldn’t I become one.

(Disclaimer – This is all sarcasm, you stupid fucks. Just saying, before the FBI breaks down my door and arrests me without trial for no reason, pretty much because Obama signed the NDAA (even though he spoke out against it because he’s a two-faced fucking useless piece of shit). That bullshit pretty mucheliminated the 4th amendment and all that shit.

Here's to the greatest country north of Mexico and south of Canada!


Social Media Don’t Lie


Considering this chart came from Faux News, I think this says something:


Welp, Looks Like My Brain is Fucked


Mashable -Unlike drugs and alcohol, excess Internet usage could help your career, make you more informed and keep you up-to-date with the latesthilarious memes. But a recent (small) study by researchers in China showed that too much Internet usage to the point that it’s an addiction can cause structural damage to your brain.

Welp, that’s it folks. I used the internet nonstop since like 2003. Shit. Looks like my life is fucked now. No wonder I got progressively stupider in college every year… Thought I was an alcoholic in college? PSH…Amateurhour… If the internet is going to ruin mybrain, I might as well go on a bender. Bring me coke. Bring me alcohol. Bring me weed. Fuck it. might as well get hooked on harcore drugs.


Mitt Romney is a Cold-hearted Dick [Video]


httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cn0M_AFWg

This is old and from 2007, but that doesn’t matter. His response was basically like “Yeah fuck yourself. You’re going to die and I can’t get your vote, so you’re useless.” The guy is sick as shit. Who is he bothering if he wants to blaze it up. Better than taking fucking opium and shit like that… If either Romney or Obama becomes the next president, I’m out this bitch.

PS – You know who’s equally as ignorant? The jackass who posted the YouTube video and couldn’t spell dying properly. Fucking ignorant Americans…

Edit – Like a boss. The dude corrected his spelling.


Ridiculous Tweets from Arizona


My twitter is private because I’m a crazy bastard. I am being generous in 2012 and providing screenshots of some of the absolute nonsense that got tweeted whist I was away for anyone not worthy enough to follow me on twitter. Completely out of control:

 

 

My favorite: