Category: Rants
If Someone Posts This Fucking Picture One More Time, I Swear…
I think 9 out of 10 women I am friends with on Facebook posted this picture and were like OMG OMG OMG OMG. Shut the fuck up. I get it, you all want to bang Neville. Enough! Anyway, here’s how the dudes really are (right to left for all you fuckups who know nothing about Harry Potter):
- Neville looks like a normal dude
- Rupert has a stupid ass name, big titties and is one of the ugliest fucking guys I’ve seen in my life.
- Daniel is fuckingemaciated, has a stupid shaped head and is a ghostly sheet of paper
- Malfoy looks like a punk ass and has a goofy smile
PS – This is generally true though. Back in high school and shit, I wasn’t cool at all. Now look at me. I’m a fucking stud. Holler!
Rick Santorum Is an Official Joke and Should Kill Himself
I can’t believe the majority of voters ignorant fucking bastards in Iowa voted for this joke shop in the primary. This guy literally came out of nowhere and is a moron.This man is ridiculous. Who the fuck does he think he is:
- He hates gays
- Eg: “I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.”
- He wants to ban pornography
- If you Google his name, on the first result, you’ll get a ridiculouswebsite. Nice reputation, asshole.
Off topic rant/ TLDR:
I don’t deal with political parties. That’s the problem with this country. How about we just get someone who makes sense. Forget all of this “political party” bullshit. Protip:Obama is a fucking idiot. The rest of the Republican party are all fuck ups. Ron Paul does not count. He shouldn’t be classified as a Republican because he actually knows what the fuck he’s doing (in theory – obviously even if by some miracle he is elected, Congress won’t let him change shit). Sadly, he has no chance of winning because the media hates him and this country is brainwashed by Faux News which is making him out to be a crackpot old fool who hates America. They also tell people that Iran is developing nuclear weapons and long range missiles. Fuck Iran. Let them develop nuclear missiles. Long range for them is 200 miles. They can’t hit the fucking United States for shit. If a Republican is elected, we’re starting a war with Iran guaranteed. The only reason why terrorists attack America is because we are the world fucking police and stick our nose in their country for absolutely no reason. Countries don’t declare war these days. Also, stop giving foreign aid to everyone. Fuck everyone else. There are poor people here we need to help. Ron Paul was like “I would stop all foreign aid, including Israel” and Jews flipped a shit. Well guess what. Israel is fucking strong. Everyone is required to join the military. They can defend themselves.
Roman fucking Empire over here… Just go to war with everyone and collapse and burn for economic reasons. Doesn’t anyone learn from fucking history. Jesus Christ on the cross.
Dumbfuck IT Guy Can’t Keep His Shit Secure
This will be very vague, because I need to protect identities since it’s work related. We have this IT consultant for a certain project (thankfully he’s not our full IT solution) who seemed to be okay. Then I get an email from him:
Is this gentleman fucking serious? DUDE. You’re a fucking IT guy. You should know about security. Keeping computers free of viruses isamateurhour. It’s like the first thing you learn when you’re 13 years old. I’ve been cleaning viruses off my family members’ computers since like 6th grade. You have to be a fucking idiot to get a virus, and you have to be a double fucking idiot to be an IT guy and get a virus – especially viruses that spam out to your client list.
But being a nice guy, rather than tearing this guy apart, I played devil’s advocate and tried to defend him for a bit. My conclusion? There is absolutely no possible defense. He’s 100% negligent on the grounds that he should know better and is a fake IT guy who doesn’t even know the difference between a CPU and computer.
Possibility 1: Maybe his teenage son or someone went to a bunch of porn sites and downloaded some crap.
Answer 1: Nope. Don’t share a computer with anyone, imbecile. My computer is for ME. No one else. Separate the accounts, or better yet, get separate computers. Get a password. Keep people the fuck out.
Possibility 2: Maybe he downloaded cracked software, and the crack was infected.
Answer 2: Use a sandbox,buffoon. Or test it on some other machine where your work email is not accessible, check for viruses and if it’s any good, then. No excuses.
Possibility 3: Maybe he typed a website wrong and it installed because of a buffer overflow exploit
Answer 3: This actually happened to me because Firefox and Win XP are shitty. 1) Get windows 7 and it won’t happen. 2) Use Google Chrome, because it’s sandboxed and even if something does exploit it, it cannot access the system. 3) if those two fail and it happened anyway, reformat immediately and change your passwords. I did and you didn’t see me get hacked.
Conclusion: He’s a clueless moron who is a sorry excuse for an IT guy, because any normal IT guy knows basic security. I’m not even talking about like assed linux security permissions, intrusion detection, cryptology and shit they use on banking websites. Just the basics. Like how to not run ActiveX controls in IE6. Shit like that. Like keeping your shit patched and updated. Things any 16 year old IT guy would know in his sleep.
So will this ever happen to me?Not a chance. There’s a better chance that Alex Morgan will show up at my doorstep ready to bang my dick off, than me getting a computer virus that compromises my account. Not only do I not get viruses, my Google Account has 2-step authentication. I will get a text message any time someone attempts to try to log into my account. I also need to generate one time use passwords for any OAuth connections. There is no fucking way this account can get compromised.
You’re fired, bro.
Is Rovio Fucking Serious With Today’s Angry Birds Level?
Those assholes. How dare they build a bomb proof shelter. Here I am playing Seasons, chugging along getting 3 stars a day (some are challenging, which I enjoy) and bam. They give you this fortified ass house and the shittiest ass birds possible. F this noise.

Edit: Never mind. Beat it
Mitt Romney is a Cold-hearted Dick [Video]
January 13, 2012
Rants
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httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cn0M_AFWg
This is old and from 2007, but that doesn’t matter. His response was basically like “Yeah fuck yourself. You’re going to die and I can’t get your vote, so you’re useless.” The guy is sick as shit. Who is he bothering if he wants to blaze it up. Better than taking fucking opium and shit like that… If either Romney or Obama becomes the next president, I’m out this bitch.
PS – You know who’s equally as ignorant? The jackass who posted the YouTube video and couldn’t spell dying properly. Fucking ignorant Americans…
Edit – Like a boss. The dude corrected his spelling.
Politics