Category: Rants


Welp, Glad I Protested for No Reason… (Rant of the Century)


…Because the two dickhead NY senators still dont give a fuck about the people they represent and despite 1000+ people protesting these bullshit bills, they released anasininestatetement about how they still support S.O.P.A and P.I.P.A because they suck lobbyist dick and want to turn the U.S into the Great Firewall of Communinst ass China and eliminate all tech jobs in NYC.So Chuck Schumer and Kristen Hildebrand or whatever the fuck your names are… Suck my dick. We don’t like you. You’re both uncool. Go die in a bus fire.

PS – This country sucks mad dick. I calculated how much income tax I actually pay and I wanted to vomit all over Obama’s ballsack, then force him to eat it. I’m pretty sure I can feed like 4,000 Ethiopians for a year with the amount of mother fucking income tax I pay (even after my refund), and I don’t make jack shit and am broke as fuck.

Fuck this bullshit-assed statement full of lies from these cunty assed senators who don’t do shit but jack each other off in their offices instead of listening to the people:

There are two important issues in this debate: continued freedom of expression on the Internet and the ability to block online piracy. We believe that both sides can come together on a solution that satisfies their respective concerns.

We’ve had many discussions and held many meetings with all parts of the Internet community – from users, to members of the NY Tech Meet-up, to start-ups, to big Internet firms like Google, Facebook, and Yahoo – to hear their concerns regarding this proposed legislation, and we’ll continue those discussions.

After constructive dialogue with many in the technology community, we have worked to make an important change in the bill regarding DNS provisions. We will continue to work with our colleagues to ensure a proper balance between stopping the theft of intellectual property and copyright infringement, and doing so without the unintended consequence of stifling or censoring the internet, which we strongly oppose. We have worked to make sure there are due process protections to ensure that legal activity over the Internet is not disrupted and that the web continues to be a place of innovation, intellectual freedom, and an unrestricted platform for the free exchange of ideas and we welcome additional suggestions. While the threat to tens of thousands of New York jobs due to online piracy is real and must be addressed, it must be done in a way that allows the Internet and our tech companies to continue to flourish.

You’ll never stop mother fucking pirates. I don’t even pirate shit anymore, but if this law passes, I’ll sure as shit pirate EVERYTHING, even if I don’t want it, just because I can. Honestly though… I don’t pirate stuff anymore and I’ll buy shit if I support it. Like the Foo Fighter’s latest album… So good. Yes, I bought it. Also, Dave Grohl is a fucking G. Like, I’d probably go gay for Dave Grohl and I’m not even into penis. Come on.. The dude ripped on Glee for being a piece of shit television show. Foo’s also recorded their record in analog, without Protools and played gigs in common people’s garages in Yonkers. Rock on suckers. Thanks for being common dudes, not some rich ass rock star fucks. I support people like that, buy their albums and go to their shows. That’s how you combat fucking piracy. Not by making idiotic legislation.

Also, if Ron Paul doesn’t win in 2012, I’m becoming a terrorist. I mean, George W. Bush planned 9/11, so why shouldn’t I become one.

(Disclaimer – This is all sarcasm, you stupid fucks. Just saying, before the FBI breaks down my door and arrests me without trial for no reason, pretty much because Obama signed the NDAA (even though he spoke out against it because he’s a two-faced fucking useless piece of shit). That bullshit pretty mucheliminated the 4th amendment and all that shit.

Here's to the greatest country north of Mexico and south of Canada!


Mitt Romney is a Cold-hearted Dick [Video]


httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cn0M_AFWg

This is old and from 2007, but that doesn’t matter. His response was basically like “Yeah fuck yourself. You’re going to die and I can’t get your vote, so you’re useless.” The guy is sick as shit. Who is he bothering if he wants to blaze it up. Better than taking fucking opium and shit like that… If either Romney or Obama becomes the next president, I’m out this bitch.

PS – You know who’s equally as ignorant? The jackass who posted the YouTube video and couldn’t spell dying properly. Fucking ignorant Americans…

Edit – Like a boss. The dude corrected his spelling.


If Someone Posts This Fucking Picture One More Time, I Swear…


I think 9 out of 10 women I am friends with on Facebook posted this picture and were like OMG OMG OMG OMG. Shut the fuck up. I get it, you all want to bang Neville. Enough! Anyway, here’s how the dudes really are (right to left for all you fuckups who know nothing about Harry Potter):

 

PS – This is generally true though. Back in high school and shit, I wasn’t cool at all. Now look at me. I’m a fucking stud. Holler!

Rick Santorum Is an Official Joke and Should Kill Himself


I can’t believe the majority of voters ignorant fucking bastards in Iowa voted for this joke shop in the primary. This guy literally came out of nowhere and is a moron.This man is ridiculous. Who the fuck does he think he is:

  • He hates gays
    • Eg: “I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts.”
  • He wants to ban pornography
  • If you Google his name, on the first result, you’ll get a ridiculouswebsite. Nice reputation, asshole.

Off topic rant/ TLDR:
I don’t deal with political parties. That’s the problem with this country. How about we just get someone who makes sense. Forget all of this “political party” bullshit. Protip:Obama is a fucking idiot. The rest of the Republican party are all fuck ups. Ron Paul does not count. He shouldn’t be classified as a Republican because he actually knows what the fuck he’s doing (in theory – obviously even if by some miracle he is elected, Congress won’t let him change shit). Sadly, he has no chance of winning because the media hates him and this country is brainwashed by Faux News which is making him out to be a crackpot old fool who hates America. They also tell people that Iran is developing nuclear weapons and long range missiles. Fuck Iran. Let them develop nuclear missiles. Long range for them is 200 miles. They can’t hit the fucking United States for shit. If a Republican is elected, we’re starting a war with Iran guaranteed. The only reason why terrorists attack America is because we are the world fucking police and stick our nose in their country for absolutely no reason. Countries don’t declare war these days. Also, stop giving foreign aid to everyone. Fuck everyone else. There are poor people here we need to help. Ron Paul was like “I would stop all foreign aid, including Israel” and Jews flipped a shit. Well guess what. Israel is fucking strong. Everyone is required to join the military. They can defend themselves.

Roman fucking Empire over here… Just go to war with everyone and collapse and burn for economic reasons. Doesn’t anyone learn from fucking history. Jesus Christ on the cross.

 

 


Dumbfuck IT Guy Can’t Keep His Shit Secure


This will be very vague, because I need to protect identities since it’s work related. We have this IT consultant for a certain project (thankfully he’s not our full IT solution) who seemed to be okay. Then I get an email from him:

Is this gentleman fucking serious? DUDE. You’re a fucking IT guy. You should know about security. Keeping computers free of viruses isamateurhour. It’s like the first thing you learn when you’re 13 years old. I’ve been cleaning viruses off my family members’ computers since like 6th grade. You have to be a fucking idiot to get a virus, and you have to be a double fucking idiot to be an IT guy and get a virus – especially viruses that spam out to your client list.

But being a nice guy, rather than tearing this guy apart, I played devil’s advocate and tried to defend him for a bit. My conclusion? There is absolutely no possible defense. He’s 100% negligent on the grounds that he should know better and is a fake IT guy who doesn’t even know the difference between a CPU and computer.

Possibility 1: Maybe his teenage son or someone went to a bunch of porn sites and downloaded some crap.
Answer 1: Nope. Don’t share a computer with anyone, imbecile. My computer is for ME. No one else. Separate the accounts, or better yet, get separate computers. Get a password. Keep people the fuck out.

Possibility 2: Maybe he downloaded cracked software, and the crack was infected.
Answer 2: Use a sandbox,buffoon. Or test it on some other machine where your work email is not accessible, check for viruses and if it’s any good, then. No excuses.

Possibility 3: Maybe he typed a website wrong and it installed because of a buffer overflow exploit
Answer 3: This actually happened to me because Firefox and Win XP are shitty. 1) Get windows 7 and it won’t happen. 2) Use Google Chrome, because it’s sandboxed and even if something does exploit it, it cannot access the system. 3) if those two fail and it happened anyway, reformat immediately and change your passwords. I did and you didn’t see me get hacked.

Conclusion: He’s a clueless moron who is a sorry excuse for an IT guy, because any normal IT guy knows basic security. I’m not even talking about like assed linux security permissions, intrusion detection, cryptology and shit they use on banking websites. Just the basics. Like how to not run ActiveX controls in IE6. Shit like that. Like keeping your shit patched and updated. Things any 16 year old IT guy would know in his sleep.

So will this ever happen to me?Not a chance. There’s a better chance that Alex Morgan will show up at my doorstep ready to bang my dick off, than me getting a computer virus that compromises my account. Not only do I not get viruses, my Google Account has 2-step authentication. I will get a text message any time someone attempts to try to log into my account. I also need to generate one time use passwords for any OAuth connections. There is no fucking way this account can get compromised.

You’re fired, bro.