Category: Rants
Am I Missing Something Here?
Mashable – Groupon CEO Andrew Mason announced the decision yesterday on the company’s blog, stating: We’ve listened to your feedback, and since we don’t see the point in continuing to anger people, we’re pulling the ads. Mason noted that a few ads may still be running on February 11, but will be off the air as soon as possible.
To those who were offended, I feel terrible that we made you feel bad, wrote Mason. While we’ve always been a little quirky, we certainly aren’t trying to be the kind of company that builds its brand on creating controversy – we think the quality of our product is a much stronger message.
Mason’s decision comes after a post on February 7, the day after the game, in which he explained that he takes the causes mentioned in the ads whales, Brazilian rain forest deforestation and human rights in Tibet seriously, and that the company was raising money for organizations related to those causes.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeYtnw4zyg4
Clearly I’m missing something over here. I watched this Groupon Superbowl ad 5 times and still fail to see what is so offensive about it. Here is the transcript, broken down line for line, and with my comments:
- Mountainous Tibet. One of the most beautiful places in the world. Sounds okay to me
- This is Timothy Hutton. Sup dude?
- The people of Tibet are in trouble. Okay, that sucks. Maybe I’ll go wikipedia what’s up with the human rights issues there. Thanks for raising awareness and making me a better global citizen
- Their very culture is in Jeopardy. That sucks. Feel bad for you, bros.
- But they still whip up an amazing fish curry. Gross. Sounds disgusting.
- And since 200 of us bought a groupon.com, we’re each getting $30 of Tibetan food for just $15 for Himalayan restaurant in Chicago. Sounds good to me.
Here’s the rainforest one:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtH_Zka_o7U
It starts off very serious and seems genuinely like they;re trying to raise awareness. Then they say: “But not all deforestation is bad” and then it’s a waxing commercial. Har har har. Clever. Um… They were making a clever joke about hair you morons. They weren’t talking about fucking trees when they said “not all deforestation is bad.”
Oh and even though Elizabeth Hurley is like 50, I’d pretty much be up for anything with her, forest or not.
Here’s the Whale one:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fboyGZm_IdM
“Someone’s gotta save them… But it’s more fun watching them jumping and playing” – I’m assuming that means go ahead and save them so we can watch them jump and play. No one ever said they were going to just let whales drop the hell dead. Then there would be none to watch. Duh
No one can take a fucking joke anymore. Man up. Yes, these aren’t the funniest commercials. They’re borderline meh/average. But that’s not the point. I mean, poor Groupon spent $3 million dollars on this shit only to get a bad rep? They’re helping you save money. Be appreciative, assclowns.
PS – I really want to say that the CEO is a pussy for pulling the ads and not growing balls enough to stand by and defend them. At the same time, I understand how he doesn’t want to drive the company underground. Sometimes you just have to please the masses and if that means you look like a little bitch to save your company and get richer, so be it.
PPS – Livingsocial should run ads saying that Groupon is a cold heartless company that supports deforestation and killing whales. That’d sink em!
Rush Hour Rant: Narrow Steps
Random black dude and a Life logo, proving I jacked this photo off Google Images. Plus, it's not even crowded, so it doesn't prove my point. Whatever bitches.
I think I’m going to add a weekly subway segment on this blog. Face it, if you commute to NYC every day, you’ll see some classic bullshit on those subways. Rats, piss, bums, reggae dudes – you name it, it’s there. Between the MTA sucking asshole nonstop and raising fares and a mob of angry New Yorkers, I have literally infinite amounts of material to post. So her goes rant number the first: subway station steps during rush hour.
Target: 23rd St. downtown 6 station 9:30AM
Synopsis: A southbound train approaches thestationand lets out a ton of people.
A rush hour train just dumped out 100 people trying to walk up a narrow staircase two by two. These stupid jokers outside decide to squeeze their way down the steps, forcing everyone to walk single file up the steps. This generally halts traffic to a dead stop and the whole ordeal now takes minutes. I mean, it was slow enough to begin with! For fuck’s sake, I want to MURDER the assholes who do this because it screws everything up. Like here I am, walking up the steps minding my own business and all of a sudden I’m face to balls with some joke shop who couldn’t wait an extra minute for the crowd to clear. Now I need to completely stop, merge in to the other side (which is next to impossible). Result? Everyone stands still. One time I totally zoned out up those steps, half asleep in the morning and legit walked right into a motherfucker. Good. Then he had the nerve to make all kinds of grumbles and give evil looks. Tough shit, I have the right of way – your ass should have waited on top.
Use your dumbass brains and wait for the bitch ass steps to clear – it would be faster for everyone. Nope, what do they do? They decide to walk down them anyway… Once you get those things single file, forget it – it’s like the GWB of humans. Yes, I get that this is New York and no one waits for shit, but your lousy ass would actually make it down faster if you waited for the crowd to disperse.
PS – Obviously, if people are walking out of the station, you just missed the train. So why rush your ass down into a piss smelling, rat infested hole? Yes, the trains come every 2 minutes, but you have plenty of time to grab some fresh air and get the next one. Christ on the cross.
Fucker Stole My WordPress Theme
D-Rob you dog! First you ask me for help with WordPress then you jack the theme I’m using. What a dick.
Nah, just messin. iNove is GPL’d so I can’t say shit. Anyway, check out this little redheaded Jew’s entertainment blog: http://drobmedia.wordpress.com

This Entenmann’s Cake Box is Pissing Me Off
March 12, 2011
Rants
1 Comment
Portfolioso
Whenever I want a piece of cake now, I have to slide out the entire thing, cut it, put it back in the box,crumbsare everywhere. Too much work. Before, I just popped the lid, cut a piece and closed it.
Fuckin’ nonsense.