Category: Useless Update

Study Says Android Users Constantly Bring Their Phones to the Shitter

January 30, 2012

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Mashable-Areportby marketing agency 11mark found that three in four people are texting, emailing and even talking on the phone while in the bathroom. In fact, about 25% of Americans said they always bring their phone into the restroom.However, the survey conducted among 1,000 Americans revealed thatAndroidusers are slightly more likely to use their phones in the bathroom compared to other device owners. About 87% of Android users have used their phone while going to the bathroom compared with 84% ofBlackBerryusers and 77% ofiPhoneusers.

I mean… It’s better thanbringing your laptop to the shitter…

I really don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like you’re going to wipe your ass on your phone. As long as you follow the golden rules, you’re good:

  1. Start shit
  2. Use phone (not for calls, asshole)
  3. Put phone away in a pocket
  4. Wipe ass
  5. Flush toilet
  6. Wash hands
  7. Leave shitter
Phone is unaffected. Very simple. Now if you’re like wiping your ass in one hand while playing Words with Friends in another, that’s just grimy. I don’t see how only Android people have this mentality.

PS – guaranteed that 25 Apple fanboys will call me nasty.

Social Media Don’t Lie

January 16, 2012

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Considering this chart came from Faux News, I think this says something:

Welp, Looks Like My Brain is Fucked

January 14, 2012

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Mashable -Unlike drugs and alcohol, excess Internet usage could help your career, make you more informed and keep you up-to-date with the latesthilarious memes. But a recent (small) study by researchers in China showed that too much Internet usage to the point that it’s an addiction can cause structural damage to your brain.

Welp, that’s it folks. I used the internet nonstop since like 2003. Shit. Looks like my life is fucked now. No wonder I got progressively stupider in college every year… Thought I was an alcoholic in college? PSH…Amateurhour… If the internet is going to ruin mybrain, I might as well go on a bender. Bring me coke. Bring me alcohol. Bring me weed. Fuck it. might as well get hooked on harcore drugs.

Ridiculous Tweets from Arizona

January 12, 2012

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My twitter is private because I’m a crazy bastard. I am being generous in 2012 and providing screenshots of some of the absolute nonsense that got tweeted whist I was away for anyone not worthy enough to follow me on twitter. Completely out of control:

 

 

My favorite:

Big Ang on Mob Wives is Absolutely Tearing it Up

January 10, 2012

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Season 2 of Mob Wives is an absolute gem. Trash TV central and I love it. I was watching it and I had a smile from ear to ear the whole time. Half of the second episode was a battle royale and the ladies were absolutely killing one another. You have Drita who wants to swing wrenches and put bitches in the hospital and then you have the rest of them going at it. It’s brilliant TV. Brilliant!

The newest addition this season is this monster they call Big Ang. This is so legit (sorry, flash probs doesn’t work on mobile):

My coworker Mals pointed out that Big Ang is comparable to Mr/ Bighead from Rocco’s:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTdCfFeiISc