Portfolioso.com Blog

Welp, I Was Wrong About Jobs

I predicted he was donezo in back in 2009. I was wrong by a few years.

Too soon?

Pretty Sure I Just Jinxed Myself

Welp, because I wrote that blog about how healthy I always am, I’m 100% going to get sick within the next week.

Pretty sure I’m coming down with pneumonia or something because my lungs hurt for no reason. FML!

Well This Sucks, But I have to Disagree

Gizmodo-New research reveals that alcohol impairs your body’s ability to fight off viral infections. Isn’t it enough that it already impairs your ability to drive, talk clearly, and not over-tip strippers? Damn it, alcohol, what more do you want?

Researchers from the University of Massachusetts Medical Schoolfound that monocytes (a type of white blood cell that has heroic anti-viral and anti-inflammatory properties) were weakened by alcohol consumption, and that prolonged alcohol consumption had a double-negative effect.

I’d like to disagree with this because I’m possibly a raging alcoholic* but I’m generally pretty healthy.

It doesn’t really take a scientific study to see that this is possible. I mean, alcohol messes with your cells right? Pretty much blasts your liver apart. So if it’s destructive there, obviously it can weaken your immune system. Combine that with going to filthy bars that wash glasses by dipping them in soapy water which probably isn’t changed for weeks and staying up all hours of the night drinking and neglecting sleep – BAM recipie for disaster.

Now who wants to go see the movie Contagion with me?

*OK – lies, I got a lot better. I’m actually a bit of a Nancy since I left school. My liver rejoices.

This Bitch Likes Cats

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc

I’d pee on her. This slut is probably a dickwrecker in the sack too. Total freak written all over her.

Russia Is A Pimp Assed Country

Not only do they spit out good programmers, but that is one wild ass place. Fucking Putin. That guy is a straight up baller. I didn’t even realize he wasn’t the president anymore. I kept seeing pictures of himgambling, drinking, partying with sluts, racing cars, doing all kinds of crazy shit… And then one day he’s like “okay, I’m ready to be president again”

Since when was he not the president? You mean to tell me that if I’m the president of Russia, I can be like “BRB, going on sabbatical” then just come back whenever the hell I want? Sign me up! Screw this country. I’m going to Russia. Plus, it’s cold there and I like the cold.