Portfolioso.com Blog

Prediction: Stock Market Will Crash Today

Get ready to lose money. The markets are going to hell today. I guarantee it. At best, they will close down 3-5%, but I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if you see the Dow dump 800-1000+ points.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Boring Ass Post: I Ramped Up Traffic To This Blog in 2011

Not that I give a fuck, but traffic is up from like 4 views per day average to about 30. I think the trick is to write every day. Something I do when I’m bored and not drinking. Which is a good thing because my liver appreciates it and I won’t die at like 27 years old.

This blog is for me to write outrageous commentary about ordinary things, in which my logic is flawless and I’m always right. It is not to be taken seriously. I don’t care if it gets 1 or 500 views. All I care about is that I can write about a bunch of nonsense just because I can.

SO enjoyyyyy, all of you people who get kicks out of the bullshit I blabber about. If you agree, you are on the right side. Also you’re like Maresca and disagree with me about everything from my extreme politics to how 90s grunge is better than 80s metal crap – I don’t give a fuck either.

Who’s This Joker Tim McSweeney and Why Is He Stealing Phrases from Crayzeesheep?

Stumbled upon this article on Comic Sans(which is pretty funny by the way)on this website and I noticed this bro’s tagline is “only does things full-assed” What a fucking thief!!! The sheep came up with that line!!! I was broin’ out with him one day, working at the district and we were talking about how we were amazing workers and he’s like “yeah, I don’t do things half assed, I do them full-assed” Instant classic. I’ve never heard it before or seen it on the internet. Suddenly, this McSweeney website uses it all of a sudden? WTF mang?!

That phrase is trademarked. That’s some bullshit this Irishman stole it from him.

Australian Collar Bomb Hoax Girl is an Absolute Bombshell

For all you morons not following the news – A millionaire’s terrified daughter was freed by cops last night after TEN HOURS with a “collar bomb” around her neck.Madeleine Pulver, 18, feared she would be blown up at any moment after a man in a ski mask burst into her home and clamped on the device. The maniac left a ransom note threatening to detonate the bomb by remote control unless his demands were met. He fled after telling Madeleine the collar was fitted with a microphone so he could hear what she was saying.

So you mean to tell me that someone broke into this broad’s mansion and put a fake bomb device around her neck demanding money? Jeez…

Lets analyze the situation:

• Australian accent? Check.
• Millionaireparents? Check.
• 18 years old? Check (does that even matter in Australia?)
• Huge rack? Check.
• Didn’t blow up? Check.

Son of a Bitch AT&T, Sprint & TMobile Give Away Free Nexus S Phones Tomorrow via Best Buy

MOTHER. FUCK. VERIZON and their piece of shit CDMA network. No one makes cool phones anymore on this bitch ass carrier. Like…. The Droid Charge is fucking $600 for no reason and sucks. Droid 3? Just a thin Droid/Droid2 with a faster processor and stupid MotoBlur. I want a pure Google phone with 4G that I can root. Is that hard to ask? Nope, gotta stick with the slow ass Droid 1 for now.

I want a Nexus S so badly it’s not even funny. The phone has been out for a while and it’s still bitchin.