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This Video of the Batshit Teacher Singing and Cutting Students’ Hair is BANANAS

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This story is bananas. Probably the most absurd thing of 2018.Everything about this video and story is fascinating. It gets wilder by the minute when you watch the video:

https://twitter.com/rafaelvazquez79/status/1070766971854057472

Yowza! That lady literally lost her goddamn mind. Which leads me to the following questions:

1. At first, I was wondering what kind of drugs make you do this? What kind of loony-juice makes a person scream the national anthem, chase after kids with scissors and cut their hair – in the middle of chemistry class? Or… What happened in her life that made her go nutzo? Or… Literally what makes you think it’s okay to act a fool like that. Even if you have the urge to do or say stupid shit – don’t you understand 1) you’ll look like a lunatic 2) people are taking video and making you viral – in a bad way and 3) just chill the fuck out and do literally anything else but that. Unfortunately, mental illness is a real thing and no matter what the circumstance, the woman needs help.
2. If you’re that kid, how the hell are you sitting down again when that psycho bitch tells you to after she already cut your hair? How? But if some middle aged, trippin’ assed white lady came at me with scissors and started cutting my hair, I’d be like: “Bitch are you OUTSIDE your mind?” and I would bounce ASAP.
3. The biggest question is – how does a school district hire this lady to begin with?!?! Are theythat desperate? Holy moly. Her former employment was in food safety, and a weights and measures inspector. Literally going to the local Walmart’s deli and checking to make sure their scales are accurate; shit like that. How do you go from that – to teaching high school chemistry? Chem’s hard. I was in normal people chemistry in 10th grade (not honors, and I was mostly in honors science classes) and it was still hard, but I liked it… Which brings me to my next point – school administrators usually mess everything up. The fact that this woman was suspended two times already and theystill took her back is an insult to humanity. How do you think the conversation went when they renewed her for the next year? “Uhhh, Chad? Soooo… We kinda don’t have any qualified applicants to properly teach chemistry up in this joint, but the current lunatic we have now who was suspended a couple times will have to do, okay?” “Sounds good, Constance.”

Do they not hunt around for rumors or monitor Twitter and notice things like @rafaelvazquez79 ‘s tweet: “Free Mrs. G she was hella cool and chill! Back to when she wasn’t wildin 😪” Followed by a video of her tweaking out and flipping water bottles. Pretty sure if I’m on the board or making a re-hiring decision, I’d see that on Twitter and would be like “Iight… This is going to be a lot of paperwork, but we simply cannot have this woman wildin anymore in our district. Not under my watch! First it’s just a little wildin, but before you know it, they’re bringing national attention to your school for a viral video of trying to murder kids with scissors while screaming the national anthem at the top of their lungs.”

I’m using that from now on. Anytime anyone I respected loses their mind, I’ll 100% tweet about how they were mad cool, before they were wildin’

@AnthemInc Support Reps F’in Suck at their Jobs

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This is legitimately the WORST customer support response I’ve ever received. Period. Flat out embarrassment. Whoever took the time to “reply” to my question is a lazy moron who probably pastes the same canned response to everyone, telling them to call the phone people so they don’t have to handle it. We actually had a support rep where I worked a few years back do the same thing. Guy’s only job was to respond to tickets – no phones – and he was finally fired after we discovered he was sending generic responses back, not answering the question, telling people to call in instead. So much for diverting calls away from our phone reps… Wonder if this is the same idiot:

Get the FUCK lost. I have no patience for shit like this.

Sometimes I Wonder Weird Things… (tl;dr social media ramble)

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Social media stinks. Facebook is garbage (politics are garbage, don’t want to hear it, k thx). I’m over bitching on Twitter, and am trying to get more positive. Instgram’s cool for now (I’m sure Facebook will ruin it eventually), especially seeing a stream of people’s life experiences.

Made me wonder about why social media is bad for society these days. I was out at dinner tonight and there were a bunch of high school kids at homecoming. Not talking, just on their phones 85% of the time I looked over. A table full of middle school kids – all on phones.

But most important reason social media is bad is that it’s addictive. Obsessedly checking for likes probably hits all the same sections of the brain as hardcore drugs do…

So real talk – I was going through my feed and liking people’s posts. And I flat out don’t like some. I’m either not into that person, or my idiot negatively firing brain for no good reason just wants to make fun of people’s looks or bullshit like that. But I want to be a nice person so I’ll never be mean… So I tell myself, wtf – these people can’t help how they look, they’re happy, why are you trying to rain on their parade ya fuckin miserab. So I stop because I don’t have any room for being a jerk to people.

Where am I going with this? So I wondered if people wondered or noticed I don’t give a royal shit about them, on the grounds that I don’t like or comment on any of their posts. And that’s narcissistic af, amirite?

And this is exactly my point of why social media is a dumpster fire. Because before all this shit, I’d be out in nature with friends having a ball. But what am I doing instead? Obsessingly checking for likes, having asshole, negative thoughts and being a narcissist who wonders if people are mad or notice that I like it some people’s shit but not theirs. Does it make them feel bad, jealous? Do they not care back? Not notice? Why am I thinking these things? Jeeeeeesus.

Let’s Analyze This HS Bro’s Yearbook Page

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So I’m going to analyze Brett Kavanaugh’s yearbook entry, because I’m an expert at all of this. I worked on high school and college yearbooks and I went to HS and College with many sports bros so let’s pick out a couple things from above and study them a little closer. Given all the controversy, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you’re looking at the HS yearbook page your future Supreme Court Justice…

What a fuckin alcoholic jock bro asshole extraordinaire. Reading this reminds me of all the assholes I hated in high school. All the mean, jock, partying bros. Back then I was bitter about it because I didn’t have any fun in high school. I was a goody two shoes. Studied on weekends, didn’t go to the football games, and wasn’t popular with the sportsball players. I’m not trying to be some temperance crusader, but people like this stink.

“Georgetown vs Louisville – Who Won the Game Anyway” and “Orioles vs Red Sox, Who Won Anyway” – Translation: We were all blackout drunk and have no idea who won the game. I’ve been there. Been to a couple Yankee Games with the boys and got so plastered I had no idea what the actual hell happened in the game. We were just heckling the guards for not letting us sit closer and having a time. Nothing wrong with it as long as you don’t go sexually harassing people.

“Have You Boofed Yet” –Gotta be honest. Never heard of boof. Had to Urban Dictionary it and came up with these two gems:

or

If you’re going to “boof” you might as well just have a little weed, because funneling booze up your asshole seems a little extreme. But hey, our Tweeter in Chief think’s it’s okay to to grab women by the pussy these days, so what’s the harm in railing a little coke up your butthole – seems like something your average Supreme Court Justice would be down with.

“Beach Week Ralph Club” – Throw up club, duh. When you Ralph, you puke.

“Renate Alumnius” – Obviously ya boy Brett and his football team ran train on poor Renate. The fact that his lawyer issued a statement on this is laugh out loud funny. “A White House spokesman, Raj Shah, declined to comment beyond the statement from Judge Kavanaugh’s lawyer. Four of the men who were pictured with Judge Kavanaugh in a photo captioned ‘Renate Alumni’ said it was simply a reference to their dating or going to dances with Ms. Dolphin.” 😂😂😂😂😂. Tell me another one. A bunch of guys innocently dating or going to a dance or two with the same girl is 1000000% not inside joke yearbook worthy. The only way you all do that is if you all hooked up. End of story.I’m thinking it was something more along the lines of what happened with Miami’s 7th Floor Crew:

Guy seems like an absolute gem. Sounds like a person who’d make sound decisions for the US of A.

This 29 Year Old who Bought a Tesla with a Credit Card is a Certified DOUCHE

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CNBC– 29-year-old Keith Rosso, recently used a credit card to buy a Tesla Model 3 with his wife Liz for a total of $58,857, including taxes and fees.Although Tesla wouldn’t let Rosso purchase the car directly with his credit card, they accepted the payment through Plastiq, a third-party service that charges a 2.5 percent fee. Rosso qualified for the Ink Business Preferred because of his eBay side hustle, and he notes that’s what’s special about the card is that it offers a high credit limit as well as the option to spend beyond that limit if necessary. His credit limit was around $37,000, so he exceeded it by about $23,000 to put the entire car payment on the card. But since he and Liz had the funds saved, they were able to pay the card off in full and they didn’t have to deal with any extra fees or interest payments.

  The fact that this is an actual thing is mind bending. I can’t believe that a business related news organization actually covered this absurd story. The whole thing seems like a giant advertisement for Plastiq and Chase. Anyway, this guy Keith Rosso is a fucking DOUCHE. CANOE. If I ever pulled this shit off, by no means would I be bragging about it or want a story written about me. Look how ridiculous this sounds: “Oh look at me! I sell shit on ebay and qualified for a business card, so I bought some credits to pay Tesla through a third party service in order to get points. But only do this if you’re a privledged white boy who has the liquid cash to immediately pay off the card” Fuckin hack. This is the kind of shit that gives Millennials bad names. I have three problems with how this went down:

1. How in the actual universe does Chase let someone charge $23,000 over the credit limit? Like I get that business cards let you go above the limit, but by tens of thousands of dollars? Are you for real?
2. Who’s the idiot at the Tesla dealership that thought it was a good idea to be funded through this bullshit service Plastiq that I never heard of?
3. How pissed is Chase right now? They got completely screwed over… This is why credit card rewards are getting cut and shittier over time. One asshole decides to game the system and the average person suffers because of it.
4. Keith Rosso is a MORON. Unless he is beyond rich, he needs to be investing $50,000… Because in 40 years, with decent returns (even if there’s a recession or two), and compounded reinvesting, that $50,000 will be $300,000. But no… He decided to buy a Tesla which will depreciate to nothing. Good for him if he’s successful and can afford nice things – that’s not my issue. It’s the utter ridiculousness of this entire ordeal that pisses me off.

I’m all for gaming the credit card rewards system. I do it myself. Banks make ZERO money off of me. Zero. They lose money from me. I manipulate my purchases to get as many points/rewards/cashback matches as possible and never owe any interest. That’s fine, banks are rich AF, so the hell with them. But to do this on such a grand scale and brag on CNBC about it is silly. Look at this absolute goofball: And get the closing line of the article:

Now they’re considering using the points to spend seven nights at a Hyatt in the Maldives or on round-trip business class tickets to Australia.

Dude if you have the money, just drop 7-10k and go to the fuckin Maldives. Invest the rest, and buy a Tesla with financing. Idiot.