Something New Now: I Fall Asleep Standing Up On Subways Like a Damn Horse


I’ve been having such a blast on the 4 train this past week and it’s been so relaxing, I started falling asleep… Standing up.It’s my new jam.

Between the ass-to-dick cramming, the homeless, the performing bums, etc… So I’m standing by the door, train’s going 2 miles per hour like an asshole and I start getting tired, because we all know I never sleep. Next thing I know, I’m starting to collapse. So I realize this and jerk myself awake to prevent myself from falling to the ground. I got all kinds of funny looks from people. It was legit. Wish it was April 1st – I would’ve been like April Fools!If I saw someone do that, I’d be pissed off. I’d be like “ah shit, don’t drop dead on me asshole. It’ll delay my train.”

Seriously. Who the hell falls asleep standing up? Freakin spazz..

Want To Put a Stop To Police Chiefs Getting Killed in Drug Busts? Stop Doing Drug Busts


CT Post – GREENLAND, N.H. (AP) Attorney GeneralMichael Delaneysays 48-year-old Greenland Police ChiefMichael Maloneywas the officer killed during a drug bust-turned-shootout in New Hampshire that left four other officerswounded. Delaney confirmed early Friday that Maloney was the officer killed as authorities were conducting a drug investigation in the small town ofGreenland. The incident started around 6 p.m. Thursday and the suspect remains barricaded in a home with awoman.

Maloney was due to retire in less than two weeks. He was married and has children. In addition to Maloney, the department had just sixofficers.The four injured officers were from other departments. Two are in intensive care and two have been treated andreleased.

Fuck the drug busts man. Look what just happened. This poor bastard went out and got himself killed for no reason. Just… Fuck it. Stop the assholes doing their DUIs so they don’t kill anyone. Stop the people murdering people or fighting people. But let people do whatever else they want, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else or interfering with anyone else’s personal thing. Huge drug dealer? Whatever. Would’ve saved more lives.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWBemc6_KbM


Bitches Have Some Nerve Emailing me 4.5MB MS Publisher Files


 

Is this woman a comedian or something? It’s like 2012. Who in their good mind has the audacity to email a Microsoft Publisher file? Does Microsoft Publisher still even exist? Wasn’t that discontinued with Office 2003?I personally guarantee you that out of the 500 people she sent it to, absolutely no one will be able to open the file.

“Oh but if you can’t open it, we’ll MAIL it to you.” Are you a fucking idiot wasting money on postage? No wonder my school taxes are like $39,854 dollars per minute. Print it to a PDF, assmunch! Everyone can open PDFs and it’s been a standard since 1999.

And this my friend, is a high school business teacher who has a lot of power around the joint.Matter of fact, it’sthe same joker who fucked up our prom seating chartback in the day.

Pretty Sure The Fucking 4 and 5 Trains Cut 12 Years off My Life


You know what fucking sucks? The piece of shit Lexington Avenue subway line at 8AM and fucking downtown New York. Fuck downtown New York. It’s an absolute shithole. Fuckinplacegets demolished in 2001 and it’s still a fucking shithole 11 years later. Construction everywhere, dust, narrow streets mobbed with fucking tourists wearing Statue of Liberty hats, it goes on and on. Ever since we moved downtown, everything fucking sucks.

For the past two weeks, it has been impossible to get onto a fucking subway train on the 4/5 line around 8AM. There are literally hundreds of people mobbed around each door trying to get in. When the train pulls into the station it’s already jammed full like a fuckin sardine can. So what happens? Three people can fit on the train and no one goes anywhere. I had more fun waiting online for 3 hours for fucking Kingda Ka at Six Flags in the 90 degree, humid summer heat than standing on the platform like an asshole.

And fucking today, the trains were coming like every 15 minutes, so there was no fucking flow. Usually they show up every few minutes. This is something new. For the past two weeks, I’ve seen motherfuckers puking in cars, mechanicalfailures, psychopaths getting arrested, homeless pissingthemselves, police activity, ass to dick crowd action. Anything to delay me!Jesusfucking Christ!

So I’m dying 12 years sooner because it’s not healthy to be angry, stressed, jammed in like sardines, and be in close contact with nasty ass fucking homeless bums with TB.

I promise you that when I worked in midtown, I didn’t have to deal with this shit.So a big FUCK you to the MTA and the Financial District. Now I’m working from home next week

Bridgeport Is Byfar the Worst Shithole That Exists in the USA


At this rate, I think it’s worse than Detroit. Seriously… I’d rather live in fuckin Panem! Who the fuck would ever want to live in Bridgeport? At least live in like Harlem or the South Bronx or Bed Stuy or some crap like that. If you want to get murdered, get murdered NYC style. Not in some burned out has been in the middle of Connecticut. Absolute shithole.

Anyone follow T.C’s twitter? I mean come on. Here are the highlights of living in Bridgeport in the year 2012 folks! Looks awesome!