Tag: Android
Rant: Google Keyboard
Random pet peeve about the official stock Google Keyboardfor Android:
Will you crackers fucking autocorrect “tou” to “you?” This is by far the most annoying fucking thing ever. 100% of the time I goto type “you” (which is frequent), the combination between my fat fucking fingers and the fact that 100% of Android phones have shitty touch sensors (as compared to Apple), I end up typing tou instead. No big deal. I mistype a lot of shit on there. Only thing is, it does a good job with autocorrect. But not tou to you. Why? Because tou is a dictionary word. What the fuck is a tou? NOTHING. Get the fuck out of my dictionary. Because it’s a dictionary word, I couldn’t even add a custom dictionary/shortcut/autocorrect tou –> youtrigger.
Now when I looked up tou, it was some fucker mentioned in the Old Testament.Fore sure I’ll text about this dude 0% of the time. Android L’s keyboard better be better than that shit. Ya heard?
PS – I typed this blog on a fucking netbook keyboard running Xubuntu. Netbooks are such slow pieces of shit with the worst screen resolution ever, but it actually runs a server pretty well because Linux.
Android
Verizon’s Android WiFi Remote App is Some Shady Shit
I was working on an Android app and using the debugger which lists every event that goes on on my phone and I noticed a process calledcom.verizon.android.wifios. This process belongs to Verizon FiOS Mobile Remote, which is a remote replacement and DVR manager for FiOS TV.
Every time I killed it from the debugger, it would re-launch. I also noticed it has this thing called vzAnalytics, which looks like it reports phone stats back to them. The best part is that Verizon lied about the email address they provided in the market. I emailed it and it bounced. Assholes. I might uninstall this
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Fuck Verizon Wireless For Not Updating My Galaxy Nexus
This is a bunch of bullshit. Verizon has some pair of balls being so slow to update the buggy assed software on their phones. It’s like… They sell you the phone and then they immediately stop giving a fuck. The fucking thing wasn’t updated since December. Sprint launched the phone much later and even they have the 4.0.4 update. Don’t they understand this phone is a glorified buggy piece of shit? Half the fuckin time, I can’t even switch smoothly between 3G and 4G because the radio has a hard time accurately reporting, finding and switching between different signals. The keyboard lags when typing. The volume is low. It’s all fucked up.
Google Maps released version 6.7 which completely fucked up GPS Navigation on Android 4.0.2 only. It used to speak the street name and exit numbers during driving nav. Now it’s just like “In two miles, turn left” “Take exit right” How the hell should I know when two miles is. Motherfucker, I’m driving – I don’t want to look at my GPS screen to see what road I should turn left on. It should just tell me to “turn left on Ballsack road” or some shit. If Verizon would have updated to 4.0.4 (which is out by the way, they just won’t push it), I wouldn’t have this issue.
I should have rooted this motherfucker from day 1. Then I would be able to install my own updates on it and I wouldnt’ have to wait for Verizon to take MONTHS and MONTHS to do this. If I want to root now, I will have to wipe my entire phone, which is a pain in my balls. But I should root so I can install DroidWall and block ads and shit, and be able to tether.
So motherfucking Google: Fix your shit. Motherfucking Verizon: release the update.
Shitheads.
</rant>
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Hey Google, Pick Me as CEO of Motorola Mobility
Engadget -Google’s first act with Motorola Mobilityunder its wing? Picking a new head for the company, apparently. According to some anonymous-type sources over atBloomberg, Mountain View “is close” to picking its own SVP, former ad man Dennis Woodside, to succeedSanjay Jha. Google, naturally is refusing to comment on the matter, which is still waiting the completion of the $12.5 billion acquisition.
Make me the fucking CEO of this company and I will get this shit right. I am the Apple hating clone of Steve Jobs. I’m a dick to people, I’m always right, I know what customers want and need, I strive for perfection, if I don’t like something, I’ll tell you straight up (no bullshit), and if I don’t get my way, there will be fucking problems because I am right and you are wrong. Now if you listen to me, I will take Motorola’s piece of shit line of phones and create one superior product that will urinate all over the iPhone. I will take Google’s shitty Android fragmentation and eliminate that also. See how passionate I am about this shit? The problem with any other CEO they will hire is that the joker will be some burned out business paper shuffler who makes millions of dollars to do absolutely nothing but make 2-3 bad decisions per year and sit in a fancy chair and big office.
Step 1: Cut out all the bullshit models and just have one
Droid Pro. Droid Razr. Droid Bionic. Droid X. Droid Razr Max. Droid 1, 2,3, 4 . Droid This. Droid That. Fuck all that shit. Apple’s iPhone is popular because there is ONE phone: the iPhone. Pick a fucking phone name anditerateoff of that. You can’t dominate the market if you have 800 models of some bullshit out.
Step 2: Stop Sucking Cell Phone Carriers’ Dicks
The iPhone didn’t get where it was by letting carriers have the final say. Put Google’s stock Android OS on there I will ship the phones how I want them. Carriers must understand this and if they fuck around with the phone… nothing – there is no fucking around with the phone. No Verizon Vcast bullshit, no Verizon visual voicemail bullshit… PURE. GOOGLE. ANDROID.
Step 3: Stop Being a Software Company
Stop putting fucking MotoBlur BULLSHIT skins on your phones. You are tainting the pure Google experience. Let the brains at Google figure out what is right. They’re already mediocre at it compared to Apple and putting extra reskinning on top of it or changingicons around
Step 4: Give Developers/Hackers Control If They Want (But Don’t Sacrifice)
Geeks want to hack these phones, put on custom ROMs. Cater to them. Don’t make it difficult. Obviously, this shouldn’t be encouraged, but don’t do bullshit. Even Apple locks their phones to a certain extent.
Step 5: Simplify
Apple wins here. The problem with Android is that it’s designed for geeks. Yes, it’s powerful, but there are too many settings and too many ways of doing things. MAKE . IT. SIMPLE. If geeks want to have the utmost control, let them, but it should be hidden. Keep everything simple and then enable a “technical” mode or some crap like that.
Step 6: Don’t Infringe Apple’s Patents
Those fuckers will sue the shit out of you. Do it on your own.
Step 7: No Shitty Hardware
I love my Galaxy Nexus and it’s the best Android phone out there. However, every aspect of this phone was done wrong. They used a piece of shit, grainy camera. Verizon completely fucked up the product launch by delaying it two months, it was released with 4 million bugs that still are not patched. It feels flimsy. The volume buttons are too easy to push, the screen scratches too easily… Etc… Still the best Android phone, despite that. Use top notch hardware, like Apple does. They won’t settle for shitty grainy cameras.
Aim: Make one simple to use phone with better hardware than the iPhone that is easy to use, then consistently improve it (but not drastically) across new versions. Also, hype up releases and get on board.
This is a multimillion dollar strategy. You’re welcome. Hire me for 800,000 per year. Come on… That’s a steal. You know you’re going to ay some 60 year old washed up dude like 10 million per year to continue to make the company fail.
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The Pixel 11 Series Is An Absurdly Expensive Pile of Shit
August 13, 2026
Rants
Comments Off on The Pixel 11 Series Is An Absurdly Expensive Pile of Shit
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The Pixel 11 launch today was a glorified disaster, and there’s no way I’m spending my money on this pile of shit device. Google has some pair of balls pulling the kind of shit they did, but it’s not really their fault (I’ll get to that later about how screwed we are with tech hardware). And no, I’ll never get an iPhone or Samsung.
Every single Pixel starts at $100 more than last year’s models. Besides some minor component updates to the processor, displays and cameras – which your average jerkoff wouldn’t even notice, it’s a downgrade. While the Pixel 11 and Pixel 11 Pro start with a higher base storage amount of 256GB, the real bullshit is that Google has reduced the amount of RAM in the base versions of the Pixel 11 Pro and Pro XL to 12GB, compared with 16GB in the equivalent 9 and 10 series devices. If you want the equivalent amount of memory as compared to the Pixel 10 XL, you’d have to get the 512GB storage model.
They can fucking keep them. Especially that it benchmarked 98% slower than Samsung’s flagship, because Qualcomm actually knows how to make processors that perform well. I don’t need a datacenter in my pocket and I’m not a gamer on my phone, so I’m not saying they need to ahve the absolute fastest processor. My 8 Pro is SOLID for what I use it for (it has a few design flaws), but overall it’s a very solid device… But there’s no way I’m spending $1200 to get a modern version of the same exact device (The Pixel 6 Pro 256GB has 12 GB of ram also and that came out in 2021)
And here’s what pisses me off even more. The misleading pricing bullshit they pulled to make themselves look better. If you go to the Google Store homepage, the prices listed there are complete lies:
My brothers and sisters in Christ, where the FUCK are you getting $499 and $699 from? This is ONLY if you trade in a 10 series, which means they are catering to pricks who buy new ones every year. You will not get anywhere NEAR $600 back for older devices. I priced out trading in my 8 Pro for an 11 Pro XL and by the time all is said and done with Pixel Care, it came out to $1,218 BEFORE TAX. And I usually KEEP my old phone as a backup.
I will ABSOLUTELY NOT spend $1219 on a phone when it doesn’t even have IR/dot projector face unlock that doesn’t work in the dark. I will NOT buy a phone for that price when it benchmarks 98% slower than another flagship.
Tech is FUCKED until at least 2030 or beyond. Why? Fuckin AI, that’s why. Because there is a RAM shortage due to the fact that every motherless company that manufactures RAM is prioritizing HBM (high bandwidth memory) which is used by hyperscale datacenters doing AI inference workloads. There are only 3 companies that make RAM. They’re building new fab plants to make more, but those won’t be online for another two years. Even when they do come online, do you think they’re going to lower prices out of the goodness of their hearts? You think they’ll care to manufacture consumer memory when they can make more selling AI bullshit? For sure not. All contracts for DDR5 memory are sold out through 2027 – meaning there is no more memory available in 2027. None. Everything the factories have capacity to produce in 2027 has already been sold halfway through 2026. So if you need to buy any tech shit – do it RIGHT NOW and keep that shit for the next 5-7 years, ’cause it’s only gonna get worse.
PS – While we’re at it, everything fucking sucks! The enshittification of everything is in full swing. I promise you society peaked. Music peaked. Movies peaked (all they do anymore are remakes – nothing is original). Cars are now piles of computerized shit instead of basic modes of transportation, and expensive as fuck.
Nothing would bring me more joy than for a comet to come along and hit Control-Alt-Delete on the planet and wipe everyone out. I’m not even joking. Everything is too expensive. We have absolute fucking felonious morons in charge, spending money on wars and killing people and protecting fucking pedophiles. No one is united and people are living in two separate realities. Global warming is accelerating, we cut funding for all the FDA food safety protocols so now people have explosive diarrhea due to some fucking parasite that’s more prevalent because of global warming. I’m over it. Get fucked.
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