Tag: Google
Fuck Google And It’s Bitch Ass Reader
I’ve previously written articles about Google going to shit. I tried to search and link them, but there were 2-3 (check the related posts).
I see what they’re doing here. They are killing off products that are not generating revenue. They’re trying to focus on one core (piece of shit) product: Google+. Google+ was a good idea if nothing similar existed, but it actually isn’t anything that great. It’s a shame. It’s technical awesomeness with a mediocre, confusing-assed UI that no one uses at all. There is legitimately no point in me using Google+
Anyway, long story short. Fuck you and Google Reader. Want to kill it? I’ll just use feedly. Assholes.
Hey Google, Pick Me as CEO of Motorola Mobility
Engadget -Google’s first act with Motorola Mobilityunder its wing? Picking a new head for the company, apparently. According to some anonymous-type sources over atBloomberg, Mountain View “is close” to picking its own SVP, former ad man Dennis Woodside, to succeedSanjay Jha. Google, naturally is refusing to comment on the matter, which is still waiting the completion of the $12.5 billion acquisition.
Make me the fucking CEO of this company and I will get this shit right. I am the Apple hating clone of Steve Jobs. I’m a dick to people, I’m always right, I know what customers want and need, I strive for perfection, if I don’t like something, I’ll tell you straight up (no bullshit), and if I don’t get my way, there will be fucking problems because I am right and you are wrong. Now if you listen to me, I will take Motorola’s piece of shit line of phones and create one superior product that will urinate all over the iPhone. I will take Google’s shitty Android fragmentation and eliminate that also. See how passionate I am about this shit? The problem with any other CEO they will hire is that the joker will be some burned out business paper shuffler who makes millions of dollars to do absolutely nothing but make 2-3 bad decisions per year and sit in a fancy chair and big office.
Step 1: Cut out all the bullshit models and just have one
Droid Pro. Droid Razr. Droid Bionic. Droid X. Droid Razr Max. Droid 1, 2,3, 4 . Droid This. Droid That. Fuck all that shit. Apple’s iPhone is popular because there is ONE phone: the iPhone. Pick a fucking phone name anditerateoff of that. You can’t dominate the market if you have 800 models of some bullshit out.
Step 2: Stop Sucking Cell Phone Carriers’ Dicks
The iPhone didn’t get where it was by letting carriers have the final say. Put Google’s stock Android OS on there I will ship the phones how I want them. Carriers must understand this and if they fuck around with the phone… nothing – there is no fucking around with the phone. No Verizon Vcast bullshit, no Verizon visual voicemail bullshit… PURE. GOOGLE. ANDROID.
Step 3: Stop Being a Software Company
Stop putting fucking MotoBlur BULLSHIT skins on your phones. You are tainting the pure Google experience. Let the brains at Google figure out what is right. They’re already mediocre at it compared to Apple and putting extra reskinning on top of it or changingicons around
Step 4: Give Developers/Hackers Control If They Want (But Don’t Sacrifice)
Geeks want to hack these phones, put on custom ROMs. Cater to them. Don’t make it difficult. Obviously, this shouldn’t be encouraged, but don’t do bullshit. Even Apple locks their phones to a certain extent.
Step 5: Simplify
Apple wins here. The problem with Android is that it’s designed for geeks. Yes, it’s powerful, but there are too many settings and too many ways of doing things. MAKE . IT. SIMPLE. If geeks want to have the utmost control, let them, but it should be hidden. Keep everything simple and then enable a “technical” mode or some crap like that.
Step 6: Don’t Infringe Apple’s Patents
Those fuckers will sue the shit out of you. Do it on your own.
Step 7: No Shitty Hardware
I love my Galaxy Nexus and it’s the best Android phone out there. However, every aspect of this phone was done wrong. They used a piece of shit, grainy camera. Verizon completely fucked up the product launch by delaying it two months, it was released with 4 million bugs that still are not patched. It feels flimsy. The volume buttons are too easy to push, the screen scratches too easily… Etc… Still the best Android phone, despite that. Use top notch hardware, like Apple does. They won’t settle for shitty grainy cameras.
Aim: Make one simple to use phone with better hardware than the iPhone that is easy to use, then consistently improve it (but not drastically) across new versions. Also, hype up releases and get on board.
This is a multimillion dollar strategy. You’re welcome. Hire me for 800,000 per year. Come on… That’s a steal. You know you’re going to ay some 60 year old washed up dude like 10 million per year to continue to make the company fail.
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I Called It! Google Is FINALLY Getting Rid of that Black StupidBar
Fucking Google. I love them to death but they recently hired a bunch of colorblint hipster jokefests as UI designers because they pretty much ruined Google Reader and Gmail. Completely devoid of color.
Anyway, these biddies should listen to me because Iobviouslyknow it all. Months ago I blogged about how shitty that black navigation bar is. Welp, today they announced that they’re getting rid of it. No shit? Since when did an ugly black eyesore of a toolbar become part of Googles UI?
Portfolioso: 1
Google: 0
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSIMpFfNLEA
Android 2.2 Froyo Just Took a Shit on the iPhone
At Google’s I/O conference, Android 2.2, dubbed Froyo was just announced and it looks amazing. iPhone OS 4, you’ve got nothing!
- 2-5x faster than Android 2.1
- Supports USB and WiFi tethering (using your phone’s 3G internet on your computer)
- Exchange improvements
- Update multiple apps at once
- Task manager
- stream iTunes library to your phone over WiFi
- V8 javascript engine = fastest mobile browser ever (according to Google)
- Flash support
Apple just keeps controlling everything and closing out developers. If you want all the tech details, I don;t want to write about them here, so check these links. But F Steve Jobs and his lame ass keynotes, Google is the shit (true dat, double true)
http://gizmodo.com/5543853/what-is-froyo
http://gizmodo.com/5543659/android-22-is-2x-to-5x-faster-for-apps-plus-so-many-more-features
Screenshots: http://gizmodo.com/5543323/
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The Pixel 11 Series Is An Absurdly Expensive Pile of Shit
August 13, 2026
Rants
Comments Off on The Pixel 11 Series Is An Absurdly Expensive Pile of Shit
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The Pixel 11 launch today was a glorified disaster, and there’s no way I’m spending my money on this pile of shit device. Google has some pair of balls pulling the kind of shit they did, but it’s not really their fault (I’ll get to that later about how screwed we are with tech hardware). And no, I’ll never get an iPhone or Samsung.
Every single Pixel starts at $100 more than last year’s models. Besides some minor component updates to the processor, displays and cameras – which your average jerkoff wouldn’t even notice, it’s a downgrade. While the Pixel 11 and Pixel 11 Pro start with a higher base storage amount of 256GB, the real bullshit is that Google has reduced the amount of RAM in the base versions of the Pixel 11 Pro and Pro XL to 12GB, compared with 16GB in the equivalent 9 and 10 series devices. If you want the equivalent amount of memory as compared to the Pixel 10 XL, you’d have to get the 512GB storage model.
They can fucking keep them. Especially that it benchmarked 98% slower than Samsung’s flagship, because Qualcomm actually knows how to make processors that perform well. I don’t need a datacenter in my pocket and I’m not a gamer on my phone, so I’m not saying they need to ahve the absolute fastest processor. My 8 Pro is SOLID for what I use it for (it has a few design flaws), but overall it’s a very solid device… But there’s no way I’m spending $1200 to get a modern version of the same exact device (The Pixel 6 Pro 256GB has 12 GB of ram also and that came out in 2021)
And here’s what pisses me off even more. The misleading pricing bullshit they pulled to make themselves look better. If you go to the Google Store homepage, the prices listed there are complete lies:
My brothers and sisters in Christ, where the FUCK are you getting $499 and $699 from? This is ONLY if you trade in a 10 series, which means they are catering to pricks who buy new ones every year. You will not get anywhere NEAR $600 back for older devices. I priced out trading in my 8 Pro for an 11 Pro XL and by the time all is said and done with Pixel Care, it came out to $1,218 BEFORE TAX. And I usually KEEP my old phone as a backup.
I will ABSOLUTELY NOT spend $1219 on a phone when it doesn’t even have IR/dot projector face unlock that doesn’t work in the dark. I will NOT buy a phone for that price when it benchmarks 98% slower than another flagship.
Tech is FUCKED until at least 2030 or beyond. Why? Fuckin AI, that’s why. Because there is a RAM shortage due to the fact that every motherless company that manufactures RAM is prioritizing HBM (high bandwidth memory) which is used by hyperscale datacenters doing AI inference workloads. There are only 3 companies that make RAM. They’re building new fab plants to make more, but those won’t be online for another two years. Even when they do come online, do you think they’re going to lower prices out of the goodness of their hearts? You think they’ll care to manufacture consumer memory when they can make more selling AI bullshit? For sure not. All contracts for DDR5 memory are sold out through 2027 – meaning there is no more memory available in 2027. None. Everything the factories have capacity to produce in 2027 has already been sold halfway through 2026. So if you need to buy any tech shit – do it RIGHT NOW and keep that shit for the next 5-7 years, ’cause it’s only gonna get worse.
PS – While we’re at it, everything fucking sucks! The enshittification of everything is in full swing. I promise you society peaked. Music peaked. Movies peaked (all they do anymore are remakes – nothing is original). Cars are now piles of computerized shit instead of basic modes of transportation, and expensive as fuck.
Nothing would bring me more joy than for a comet to come along and hit Control-Alt-Delete on the planet and wipe everyone out. I’m not even joking. Everything is too expensive. We have absolute fucking felonious morons in charge, spending money on wars and killing people and protecting fucking pedophiles. No one is united and people are living in two separate realities. Global warming is accelerating, we cut funding for all the FDA food safety protocols so now people have explosive diarrhea due to some fucking parasite that’s more prevalent because of global warming. I’m over it. Get fucked.
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