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If the Yankees Signed Carl Pavano, I’d Have Started Rooting for the Fucking Mets

Yankees talked to Carl Pavano? Offered him a year? Are you fucking shitting me? The American IDLE. Guy got paid multi millions to be hurt for 3 seasons straight. Legit pitched like two thirds of an inning before getting carried off the field in a stretcher again. Absolute joke. Then when he finally came back he was good for 6-7 runs per game. Obviously once he left the Yankees, he started tearing it up.

Fuckin A, we should just resign Nick Johnson, Hideki Irabu, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown and Roger Clemens (post coming back from Texas). We’ll have the All Star joker team.

Thank Christ the Twins took him.

No Words

I just have nothing to say. Like I want to bash AJ, but I can’t. He did okay up to that 3 run shot. Even then the Yanks had a shot, but they were just slowly eaten away. Then you have Tex whose hamstring fell off and he’s finished now. Then our joke bullpen. Then you have Josh Hamilton doing coke with Ron Washington.

I don’t know why I’m disappointed – I said they wouldn’t get anywhere back in August/September but that doesn’t make me stop rooting for them. Then you have the Stadium which sounds like a fucking graveyard, along with people leaving in the 6th and 50k seats for people who aren’t real fans. Old Yankee stadium wasn’t like that – it was loud as hell.

Once again, Michael Kay is fully responsible for this collapse.

Well This Just About Sums Up The Fucking Game Tonight

I mean what the FUCK was that about? Cliff Lee was magical, you have to admit that. And Andy was brilliant through 7, Kerry Wood was good through 8 and I don’t know what the fuck happened in the 9th. I was going to blog before about how fucked we were with Cliff Lee, but then I held off because we had Andy Fuckin’ Pettite who’s been winning postseason games like it’s his job since 1996, so I figured maybe we’d have a bit of a chance. Nope. Once Josh Druggington hit a homer in the first I knew it was over.

Now here’s the question: did Girardi mess up the rotation? Because we all know Burnett is hopeless tomorrow. If I were Girardi, I match Burnett and Lee. We know Lee is a guaranteed loss if they score 0 or more runs, and since a loss is a loss, migh as well have AJ going out there with his 7.84 ERA giving up bombshells. Pettite actually had a chance to win if he didn’t play a fucking beast, so they should have started him tomorrow. Anyway, I’m rooting for you AJ. I don’t care how much you sucked this year – now counts and we need the w tomorrow so get your ass out there and win.

PS – What the fuck did I say? Michael Kay ran his God damn mouth about how the Yankees would crush Texas after game 1 because the come from behind win would hurt their spirits. Nope. Because of that Michael, the Yanks are going to drop 4 straight. Mark my words. Guy’s a bigger jinx than dark magic itself.

Anyway, this just about sums up the game in pictures:

Cancel the ALCS

Yankees lost today. No biggie. I don’t know who started today but it sure wasn’t Phil Hughes. It’s not the worst to come out of Texas split 1-1. Only reason they lost is because of Michael Kay.

Yes. Michael Kay. Because he ran his fat fucking mouth after Friday’s win and said something along the lines of “that was a devastating loss for the Rangers. They are crushed and cannot recover from this. Yankees will easily take the series” You dumb shit, you ever hear of jinxing things? Second of all, it’s a best of 7 series. You have junkies like Josh Hamilton and other crazy ass hitters. Now we have to face Cliff Lee? F my life. Every time this man says something stupid, Yankees end up blowing. “OH MY GAWD. 3 up, 3 down. CC is perfect through 1 inning.”

Might as well cancel the ALCS because after a dumbass comment like that, Yanks are destined to drop 4 straight.

A Nice 28 Out Win

This is what I’m talking about! Yanks battling it out in the postseason, coming back from behind. Tex’s home run, etc. Mo coming out for a 4 out save. Excellent win boys. CC was mediocre but good enough to take the game. No Roy Halladay out there, but a win is a win. I know I’ve been negative recently, but you need to go out there and support the greatest franchise ever. Let’s do it for the boss, boys.

And what the fuck was that shit about in the 9th – a great scoop by Golson which should have ended the game, but blind ass ump Chris Guccione said he trapped it? That’s bullshit, it was the cleanest catch I’ve seen all day. And upon review, all six morons got together to engage in groupthink and agree on the wrong call. God forbid that would have cost us the game, I would have boycotted baseball. If that ever happened and I were Girardi, there would be big problems. I’m talking rampages worse than that nutjob Wally Backman. I’d probably pop a squat mid field, dump a load on the ump’s shoes and smudge it on his face right in front of the whole stadium. But whatever, it just proves Mo can pitch 4 out 9th innings without any trouble. Just a little more practice, that’s all.

Keep it up boys!