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If you didn’t know, Curb your Enthusiasm is an extremely funny show running on HBO.

Anyway the link below should take you to some funny sound clips

Funny Curb Your Enthusiasm sound clips here

So while I was on my Summer Shit Tour, I encountered some scary shit. First of all, don’t ask any questions because this sounds crazy. I am sort of withholding some names for privacy to certain people.

So for some reason, me and someone had to drive to the Westchester Square area of the Bronx to deliver a package for someone. Now this person lives in a boatyard in a terrible neighborhood. So we arrived there and got to the gate (because the boatyard is gated in for security) and you needed a card key to get in. So we rang a buzzer and the landlord of the place didn’t trust us and wouldn’t let us in. So we waited. While we were waiting, there was this bum that was clearly whacked out on drugs and was unresponsive to any stimulus, just standing there. So I was like, shit this guys going to attack us.

Anyway, five minutes later, two people came and opened the gate. So while it was open, we went in. First of all, I was afraid the landlord would call the police on us because she came out yelling. So we have this big heavy package on a handcart and we had to roll it to one of the boats. Of course there were pieces of wood on the plank that made this very bumpy and the package almost fell into the shitty muck brown/whitish polluted water. Anyway the same guy from outside the gate was standing behind us, waiting to go to his boat, which freaked me out. So it took us five minutes to get this package down the ramp to the dock. As if that wasn’t enough. We had to get it onto yet another floating dock. The space between the two docks was narrow and we almost lost the package in the water again.

Once we got it on the second dock, there were wires and ropes all over the place attached to all the boats. So here we are struggling to roll this thing over these ropes that were obscuring our path. Another ten minutes…

So we got to this boat and delivered this thing to this poor person who was extremely sick and coughing which grossed me out. These people are talking for like five minutes. During that time I sat there worried because I was in this desolate place locked in a gate far from civilization (it wasn’t like I could run away). It was loaded with poor people and druggies on these houseboats. There was garbage all over the place. I was thinking, “I want to get out of here. I do not want to get shot, stabbed with someone’s drug needle or other things.”

After what seemed like an hour, we left we walked down the floating dock, then the regular dock, then up the plank back into the landlord’s house. When we got to the gate, we were locked in. But the person I was with realized that we forgot to push an unlock button near the gate and we got out. It was not until we drove away, did I feel safe.

Lessons learned: 1. We must be thankful to live where we do. 2. Stay the fuck away from that shithole.

First let me say that no names will be mentioned.

Last Monday was our baseball playoff game. The score was tied in the 6th inning (we play 7 inning games) when there is a ground ball. So someone on my team fields it and the throw was a little high. However our first baseman makes this fantastic jump and gets the runner by a step. So the idiot umpire can’t make up his mind. He calls him out. 15 seconds later he calls him safe after the other team’s coach argued. Now in real baseball, the umpire’s word is final, even if people argue, they generally don’t change it.

So anyway this kid is safe. Our coach comes out to argue this. Now this is going on for like ten minutes. To make a long story short that runner (who was really out) scores and the game is tied. So you must be thinking “that sucks.” IT GETS WORSE.

Since so much time was wasted arguing, the umpires decide to call the game because it’s late. So the coach tells the team something similar to (but not exact) “I’ll call you all and let you know when this is going to be made up.”

My dad went on the league site and it said that my team lost. So I was like wtf, but it didn’t really phase me then.

So yesterday, I was talking to someone online and this topic came up. This kid knows everything about our league. So he tells me “Oh your team lost. They made the game up Tuesday.”

HEY COACH!!! THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW. I AM A PART OF YOUR TEAM. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T WANT ME TO PLAY, YOU COULD’VE AT LEAST HAD ME WATCH. Ok so that was basically rotten. People can be really rotten….. I hate being made a fool out of.

If anyone even reads all this shit that I wrote and feels sorry for me, please email me and let me know (and I will at least know that people care).

Well, there’s not much to say, but here’s the weather forecast. Maybe we’ll break out of this shit pattern as summer arrives….

The Yankees absolutely suck. As a Yankee fan for years, I have always stayed with my team in bad times. Here are the main problems: Jeff Weaver is a druggie (literally - see link and scroll to highlighted terms) that can’t pitch. Steinbrenner should have never traded Lily (a good pitcher) for him. Torre is an ass that can’t manage and doesn’t give a shit anymore because he’s too tired and has been doing this for too long. Stottlemyre doesn’t ever believe in changing pitchers. Steinbrenner makes too many abrupt changes. He’s now having another heart attack and thinking of firing Rick Down the, asshole hitting coach. Hideki Matsui grounds out too much. Bernie is hurt. Contreras who was bad but got decent, is hurt. Jeter sucks and is overpaid. And what possessed Steinbrenner to ever get an entire new bullpen which completely sucks? We need Nelson, and Stanton back. Every new person Steinbrenner picked up has no playoff experience and thus… the downfall of the Yankees.

The Yankees can go 0 for the rest of the season for all I care. I’d like to know how the hell six different pitchers no hit them?

Please believe me… The Yankees are in bad shape.