Month: April 2012

UI Idiots at Google Love Ugly Assed Whitespace

Portfolioso April 28, 2012 No Comments Computer/ Tech Related, Rants

If you haven’t noticed, Google ruined their search results. Someone over there missed the memo, but Google because obsessed with gigantic blocks of uncentered whitepspace. it looks like absolute fucking shit.  It’s one thing to ruin google+ because no one uses that crap. But now whenever I search for things I have a midget left sidebar of text and a gigantic shitty assed white block. I’m not saying clutter it, but make use of CSS MEDIA TYPES. Fit your shit to different monitors. If you have a high res display 1920×1080 or something, look what this shit looks like:

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Even Michelle wouldn't agree with this shit.

If You Use a Dog Ball Thrower, You’re a Pussy

Portfolioso April 27, 2012 No Comments Rants

 I was biking last week and saw some gross woman with this thing along the bike trail throwing a ball to her dog. Who the fuck would buy this piece of shit for like $10? Wah I can’t throw a ball myself – I need a stick to help me. Wah, the ball has slobber on it, I can’t get my rich hands dirty. Man the fuck up and stop being a little bitch. So there’s some doggy slobber on your hand for a bit. Frickin wipe it on your jeans or some shit, then wash your hands later.

Slut’s probably done nastier shit with those hands than to worried about a little dog saliva.

Bring Me This Inflatable Water Mat!

Portfolioso April 14, 2012 No Comments Useless Update

Giz– Most inflatable water toys are about as stable as a prolonged game of Jenga. But thanks to witchcraft, voodoo, or possibly even science and intelligent engineering, this inflatable mat can support up to six people without sinking or flipping.  In fact, with 90 square feet of surface area it can support up to 1,000 pounds, so it’s strong enough to let you run, jump, and even do cartwheels on it. Everything you’ve always been encouraged to do when near the water. Inside, the two-inch thick mat is supported by thin PVC piping and an air bladder that can be inflated in about five minutes. It can also be easily collapsed and carried in a shoulder bag, because at $1,000 you’re not going to want to leave this inflatable toy just lying around.

I am amused by this thing. Not sure why. I mean, I’d love to just get a bunch of chicks like the ones in the pic and do absolutely ridiculous things with them on this thing.

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Remove all those dudes and find me those smokes!

Something New Now: I Fall Asleep Standing Up On Subways Like a Damn Horse

Portfolioso April 13, 2012 No Comments Useless Update

I’ve been having such a blast on the 4 train this past week and it’s been so relaxing, I started falling asleep… Standing up. It’s my new jam.

Between the ass-to-dick cramming, the homeless, the performing bums, etc…  So I’m standing by the door, train’s going 2 miles per hour like an asshole and I start getting tired, because we all know I never sleep. Next thing I know, I’m starting to collapse. So I realize this and jerk myself awake to prevent myself from falling to the ground. I got all kinds of funny looks from people. It was legit. Wish it was April 1st – I would’ve been like April Fools! If I saw someone do that, I’d be pissed off. I’d be like “ah shit, don’t drop dead on me asshole. It’ll delay my train.”

Seriously. Who the hell falls asleep standing up? Freakin spazz..

Want To Put a Stop To Police Chiefs Getting Killed in Drug Busts? Stop Doing Drug Busts

Portfolioso April 13, 2012 1 Comment Rants

CT Post – GREENLAND, N.H. (AP) — Attorney General Michael Delaney says 48-year-old Greenland Police Chief Michael Maloney was the officer killed during a drug bust-turned-shootout in New Hampshire that left four other officers wounded. Delaney confirmed early Friday that Maloney was the officer killed as authorities were conducting a drug investigation in the small town of Greenland. The incident started around 6 p.m. Thursday and the suspect remains barricaded in a home with a woman.

Maloney was due to retire in less than two weeks. He was married and has children. In addition to Maloney, the department had just six officers. The four injured officers were from other departments. Two are in intensive care and two have been treated and released.

Fuck the drug busts man. Look what just happened. This poor bastard went out and got himself killed for no reason. Just… Fuck it. Stop the assholes doing their DUIs so they don’t kill anyone. Stop the people murdering people or fighting people. But let people do whatever else they want, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else or interfering with anyone else’s personal thing. Huge drug dealer? Whatever. Would’ve saved more lives.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWBemc6_KbM

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