Month: May 2012

Bunch of Ballers over at Verizon: 300MBPS FiOS? JEEZ

Portfolioso May 31, 2012 No Comments Computer/ Tech Related

This is some insane shit. Verizon’s got a good pair of balls just going around beling like “Ya know what? We’re gonna just increase everyone’s speeds for no reason.” They just roll like that. They increased my speeds like 12 times for no reason since I got it for the first time. Also, when I initially wrote about FiOS in 2004, I was drooling over 5/2 and 15/5. That’s pussy speed. My 4G is faster than that.

A big Fuck you to cable companies. Eat my asshole James Dolan! Suck it U-Verse. Way to go, Big Red. Finally making America’s shitty ass internet comparable to Japan, Taiwan or any of those other more civilized countries that have insane speeds. When I get my 150/65, I’ll post back in:

Note: This praise of Verizon DOES NOT extend to Verizon Wireless. Fuck that division. Fuck them for releasing shitty phones, having asinine CDMA phones no one else in the world uses, $30 upgrade fees, killing off unlimited data,for never releasing updates to Android phones and for bastardizing Android phones with bloated ass Verizon shitware apps.

If you get Bitten by a Poisonous snake because you Think the Bible Mandates you to Handle poisonous snakes to Test your Faith in God, then You Deserve to Die

Portfolioso May 30, 2012 No Comments Rants

Washington Post – Paraphrased: [Some asshole Christian preacher thought it would be a good idea to preach with a poisonous snake because if he were a good Christina, he wouldn’t get bitten and/or if he did get bitten, God would save him.]

You know, I read this article and was like… This is prime blogging material. It goes along with my Darwinism posts of “If you do X which is really stupid, then you deserve to die” posts. I have a few of those. This story is such a bunch of bullshit I can’t even write much about it. It’s not even worth my effort.

So you know what. You better hope God saved you…. in some other life because your asshole is dead, you ignorant bastard. Don’t you learn from your dad? Idiot. Fuckin guy died the same way. Fucking Pavlov’s dogs learned faster. It’s animal nature. If I eat this poison berry, I die. Welp, if your dad ate the poison berry, stay the fuck away. So if you don’t learn, get the fuck out of here.

Don’t they fucking teach you in the bible that the snake represents the devil? Asshole… So if you’re a dumb motherfucker that takes the Bible literally such as 7 day creation stories, talking asses, 6 million animals fit on a rickety wooden boat because God was so pissed he flooded the earth and that God will save you if a venomous snake bites your dick off and and if you’re a good person, then you won’t die… then so be it. Drop dead and get the fuck off my planet and stop breathing my air and polluting C02 because you’re an ignorant fool that clearly doesn’t deserve to live.

PS – that whole Noah’s Ark thing is the biggest bunch of mother fuckin’ bullshit I’ve heard in my life. I’ve always been taught God is forgiving and loving and compassionate. Yet two motherfuckers eat an apple and get their asses kicked and God floods the world because he wasn’t happy with how shitty everyone was behaving… Fuck that noise. Today everyone’s fucking each other by 8 years old and there’s killing, murdering, rape, poverty, wars and all this bullshit. Guess that’s better than eating a mother fucking apple. Asshole.

CUNCEL DA ELECTION

Portfolioso May 30, 2012 No Comments Rants

Welp, it’s pretty much a 99% chance that it’ll be the two morons Romney (who’s trying to run for president of Amercia) and Obama  facing off in November… So cuncel da election. It’s HOPELESS.

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The upside down flag doesn't mean anti-government, you fuck ups... It means a nation in distress. Which seems about where we're headed

PS – if you have no idea what cuncel means, read on, my friends

PPS – There’s no way Obama can lose this. Guaranteed. I’d bet anything on it.

Fuck Verizon Wireless For Not Updating My Galaxy Nexus

Portfolioso May 21, 2012 1 Comment Computer/ Tech Related, Rants ,

This is a bunch of bullshit. Verizon has some pair of balls being so slow to update the buggy assed software on their phones. It’s like… They sell you the phone and then they immediately stop giving a fuck. The fucking thing wasn’t updated since December. Sprint launched the phone much later and even they have the 4.0.4 update. Don’t they understand this phone is a glorified buggy piece of shit? Half the fuckin time, I can’t even switch smoothly between 3G and 4G because the radio has a hard time accurately reporting, finding and switching between different signals. The keyboard lags when typing. The volume is low. It’s all fucked up.

Google Maps released version 6.7 which completely fucked up GPS Navigation on Android 4.0.2 only. It used to speak the street name and exit numbers during driving nav. Now it’s just like “In two miles, turn left” “Take exit right” How the hell should I know when two miles is. Motherfucker, I’m driving – I don’t want to look at my GPS screen to see what road I should turn left on. It should just tell me to “turn left on Ballsack road” or some shit.  If Verizon would have updated to 4.0.4 (which is out by the way, they just won’t push it), I wouldn’t have this issue.

I should have rooted this motherfucker from day 1. Then I would be able to install my own updates on it and I wouldnt’ have to wait for Verizon to take MONTHS and MONTHS to do this. If I want to root now, I will have to wipe my entire phone, which is a pain in my balls. But I should root so I can install DroidWall and block ads and shit, and be able to tether.

So motherfucking Google: Fix your shit. Motherfucking Verizon: release the update.

Shitheads.

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