The scenario: I get to spend the entire day with either Kate Upton or Dave Grohl
The catch: In order to do this, I have to bang said person for 7 minutes at the end of the day (ONLY).
Should be a no brainer if I’m a straight male, right?
Absolutely not. This is a pretty tough decision. I would probably do anything to hang with Dave. Could you imagine how legitimate that would be? All I want to do would be to bro out, drink some beers and have him teach me drums and guitar and sing me to sleep and all that shit. Have him fuckin shred some Foo Fighters in my garage and make all the neighbors jealous. But I have to draw the line somewhere though. As awesome as that sounds, I’m not sticking it in his ass for this opportunity. That’s straight up gross. I was debating this with Mals and she was like… It’s just a hole and this is probably the most awesome person to hang out with – just deal with it. Uhhhhh. I don’t think I can do that. Sorry.
On the other hand, I’d absolutely ruin Kate Upton. But the thing about Kate Upton is… What the hell would I do with her all day if I’m not allowed to bang her? I’m pretty sure she has no purpose other than looking hot all day and putting her tits in your face… So if I picked Kate Upton, I pretty much ruin my whole day but at least we could bang.
I think I’m going Kate Upton because I can dress her as a bunny and shit and bring her to work as my personal assistant. It would make everyone jealous and shit. Then I’ll cry myself to sleep that I didn’t get to hang out with Dave Grohl.