Author: Portfolioso
Clear means Clear
A few months ago, I got an LG ENV3. Good simple non smartphone, nice keyboard works well etc. You know what’s stupid? LG decided to put a voice command function on the clear button. This is dumb as shit. When I press the clear button, it should exit out of all menus and then go to the main screen. When on the main screen, it should just stay there and do nothing. The point of clear is to get out of everything. Instead, when you press clear, it goes to the voice command menu, one of the most useless features ever. I can access whatever I want by browsing to it. I don’t need to go voice commanding my phone. Anyway. when you push clear, this obnoxious voice screams out “PLEASE SAY A COMMAND” followed by a loud beep. This happens even if the phone is on vibrate or silent. So stupid.
I have always had this problem, but never got a chance to write about it, but am going to now since I just got the best text message from Waspito: “fucking CLEAR button should CLEAR. not yell at me to say commands. esp when my phone’s on SILENT during class. fucking ***t”
I am looking into a Droid
If You Die Because Your Gas Pedal Gets Stuck, You Deserve to Die
I’m sure you’re aware of the recent Toyota and Lexus recall, because the accelerator gets stuck, which is a hazard. Yes, this is not very safe, but if you die in a crash because of this, you’re an absolute Darwin Award winning dumbass. Read on…
Mechanics 101, people. Your accelerator gets stuck – what do you do? Put the stupid ass car in neutral you dunces! It’s not rocket science. The engine will continue revving, but it’s not in gear and it will no longer accelerate. Then you simply put on the hazards, pull over to the side of the road, unstick the pedal, and carry on. This isn’t the friggin space shuttle.
I give this scenario to a few people, and many say – oh shut the car off. I mean – that kind of works, but then you lose power steering and power brakes, which can be dangerous if you’re a weak ass. And on some old cars, the wheel locks and then you’re screwed. Now listen to this stupidity:
What you don’t do is call 911 and panic like a fucking idiot. That gets you killed. Rather than worrying about stopping your vehicle, you pull out a cell phone, distract yourself and take the time to make a call. Are you a dumbass? Anyone who cannot follow one of the two simple procedures above should not be driving. This idiot is now dead. That’s fine, because he was a moron, but here’s what’s worse: he also killed his wife, daughter and brother-in-law. To make matters even worse, he was a California highway patrol officer! Are you serious? You’re supposed to know about highway safety, and you’re over there going 125MPH and can’t figure out how to stop. The 911 dispatch says “and you don’t have the ability to turn the vehicle off or anything?” (first off, that wasn’t the best advice, but that’s fine). Stuff like this makes me rage when I read it.
Edit: Crayzeesheep just made a great point: Where are the brother-in-law and wife during this issue? You think one of those fools would think of a solution? there are three minds working on this problem, and no one can solve it. Jeez
Don’t get me wrong. I know people panic. I do understand that if you’re in traffic, pulling out of a driveway or are on a local road, it may be hard to react in time to stop the car. But the worst that can happen is a pain in the ass crash. It’s probably not that fast and you’ll live. In that case, you’re forgiven. But if you’re on a highway and manage to accelerate to 125MPH, you sir are a dumbass and had plenty of time to solve your problem
Google Ruined my Homepage
Some moron engineer at Google made a brilliant decision: let’s collapse the iGoogle themes to fit more widgets in for those of us with smaller screen resolutions. FALSE. What the hell is the point of having a theme if it gets cut off? Use your brains, Google. I would much rather see the entire theme and scroll for my widgets. At least make it an option. Fix it now, it’s pissing me off.
What my theme looks like:
What my theme should look like
My screen resolution is 1280×800. I know I’m not really doing well height-wise, but it’s not the worst. I like my Google themes to be seasonal, and they ruined it on me. Now everything’s cut off. Thanks Google
Update: 11/25/2009 – A Google employee replied back on their help forum and acknowledged that the users were upset. Google will be making a change to how this was implemented and will post back to let us know. I will keep you updated
Leeches
You know what pisses me off to no end? Leeches. People that have nothing better to do than to follow you around and chew your ear off about topics you don’t give two shits about. It always happens at the worst possible time also. Sometimes, I’ll have a minute to chat or will be in a good mood and won’t mind, but that’s when they’re in hiding. These leeches pop out either 1) when you’re exhausted 2) just failed a test 3) rushing to a meeting 4) just want to relax. And there’s no avoiding these people. There is absolutely a 100% chance you’ll run into them. It’s scientifically proven.
You know what’s the worst thing ever? When people who are walking in one direction run into you, and they do a fucking 360 and walk 20 minutes in the opposite direction from where they were originally headed to. I thought the stop and chat was bad, but I can tolerate that because it’s like 2 minutes tops, and you can walk away if you say you are in a rush. But this is 400 times worse, because you’re stuck. It’s like a guided missile just locked on target and it doesn’t go away. Then you wonder why people end up flipping out.
Off topic, but I just ate a fortune cookie. It read “Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.” Those Chinese. I’ll leave these leech dudes with them for a few days and they will rethink that fortune.
Posting from my Droid
December 27, 2009
Computer/ Tech Related, Useless Update
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Portfolioso
I am posting this from the WpToGo Android app. I could have just logged in with the browser, but this is cooler. I love this Droid so much. It seemlessly integrates with Google and the screen is amazing. As you may have noticed, I have been going to town on Blackberries lately. They suck ass – enjoy your shitty rollerball and outages. I will cut the iPhone people some slack though (even though they can’t multitask and run two apps at once). Muhahahaha.