Category: Useless Update


Bring Me This Inflatable Water Mat!


Giz-Most inflatable water toys are about as stable as a prolonged game ofJenga. But thanks to witchcraft, voodoo, or possibly even science and intelligent engineering,this inflatable matcan support up to six people without sinking or flipping. In fact, with 90 square feet of surface area it can support up to 1,000 pounds, so it’s strong enough to let you run, jump, and even do cartwheels on it. Everything you’ve always been encouraged to do when near the water.Inside, the two-inch thick mat is supported by thin PVC piping and an air bladder that can be inflated in about five minutes. It can also be easily collapsed and carried in a shoulder bag, because at$1,000you’re not going to want to leave this inflatable toy just lying around.

I am amused by this thing. Not sure why. I mean, I’d love to just get a bunch of chicks like the ones in the pic and do absolutely ridiculous things with them on this thing.

Remove all those dudes and find me those smokes!

Something New Now: I Fall Asleep Standing Up On Subways Like a Damn Horse


I’ve been having such a blast on the 4 train this past week and it’s been so relaxing, I started falling asleep… Standing up.It’s my new jam.

Between the ass-to-dick cramming, the homeless, the performing bums, etc… So I’m standing by the door, train’s going 2 miles per hour like an asshole and I start getting tired, because we all know I never sleep. Next thing I know, I’m starting to collapse. So I realize this and jerk myself awake to prevent myself from falling to the ground. I got all kinds of funny looks from people. It was legit. Wish it was April 1st – I would’ve been like April Fools!If I saw someone do that, I’d be pissed off. I’d be like “ah shit, don’t drop dead on me asshole. It’ll delay my train.”

Seriously. Who the hell falls asleep standing up? Freakin spazz..

Flawless Logic, Revisited


So I was chillin with some peeps tonight and I brought up my flawless logic and it caused a massive yelling debate, which was awesome and a half. If you are not familiar with my flawless logic, read it here, because it’s the absolute shit.Do not read on until you are familiar with my logic…

Anyway… For demo purposes, I will be explaining this from a heterosexual male point of view. So pretty much, say you get the opportunity to hook up with some chick who has a boyfriend and do it. IS this wrong? Surely not! I say you are 99% in the clear and its not your fault. So I mention this to the people I was chilling with and OBVIOUSLY all the women BLEW UP on me, disagreed and were like…. “Bull.Shit. Obviously it’s your fault – if you know someone is in a relationship, you should respect that.” And they started giving me all this shit. Okay – I can understand if they’re in a relationship with one of your good friends and shit – then I agree – it’s off limits and if you hoo kup with you’re boy’s girl, you’re a fuckign dirtbag. But if it’s some rando dude you don’t give a fuck aboyt, that shit does NOT count. Come on! She’s throwing herself at you. She wants it. You want it. If she was faithful, she wouldn’t cheat. There’s no other logic necessary. These women are all like… Well, it’s like 60% her fault and 30% the guys fault… NO. Way… Like 98% the girls fault for being a skank ass. They were giving me all this shit about karma and shit. I am an avid believer in karma (“if you do that your next GF will cheat on you), but karma does NOT apply to this situation. No way. If I pick a girl who cheats on me,obviouslyI had some shitty taste – I should pick girls who don’t cheat.

Don’t even try to argue with this shit. It’s not even possible. This is like scientifically proven.

Q.E.D

PS – I’m going to ask the gays tomorrow and get their opinion. They’re never wrong.

 

I should program this in a sandbox


but i dont give a shit

even with caps and grammar biddies

This is a Bunch of Nonsense


This winter was a fucking failure. I want snow. I want cold. What a waste. Can we just skip back to fall and start over again? I miss fall.