Category: Useless Update


Hey, At Least I Can Make Fun of Myself


They say that you need to make fun of yourself sometimes:

Seriously though. It’s just about as good as an iPhone 4’s antenna.

Does this Sound Unreasonable?


Let me know if this sounds unreasonable. I am absolutely useless right now. All I do all day is sleep, eat and watch Entourage and I’m sick of it. I’m tired of the same crap all over. Since this is what a fucking four year IS and Management degree gets you these days, here’s an idea:

I want an all expenses paid volunteer trip to somewhere in the Gulf for a few months. I’m not asking for any salary or hourly wages. BP just needs to cover my airfare, lodging, training, food and so on – and it doesn’t have to be fancy.

Level 3 (Wildlife Recovery and Rehabilitation) – This person would be a trained Wildlife Recovery & Rehabilitation volunteer, who will be helping with the clean-up of wildlife. It is a graded certification course. OSHA reviewed the Level 3 training package from PEC Premier and give special support for BP to use this training package, specifically for this incident. For this first wave of level 3 training, we are giving priority to the wildlife specialists and BP contractors.

F priority to wildlife specialists and BP contractors – bring it on. I can do it. Get me that level 3 training! And I don’t want to be one of those bogus Level 1 people who deliver supplies all day and knock on doors asking for money. I’m talking Level 3, all out OSHA training, wading in sludge in a hazmat suit scrubbing fucking pelicans with Dawn and a toothbrush so they live. Level 1 is for little bitches who don’t want to see oil. Guess what? I’m in New York, so I don’t see oil anyway (it’s not Jersey here).

Someone hook that shit up for me and I’ll be down there yesterday!


Don’t Worry, Be Happy


Let me share a little wisdom with you all. Ready? If you’re worried about something, don’t and here’s why:

  • I used to worry about everything
  • The people I chilled with all the time never worried about anything. I’d go crazy planning shit, figuring things out, doing calculus and OCDing about the way I wanted everything to turn out.
  • The people I chilled with who never worried about anything or planned a thing always got what they wanted and everything worked out in their favor
  • If things didn’t work out in their favor, they shrugged it off until things did work out
    Stuff still didn’t work out for me and I was annoyed/pissed etc.
    So I stopped giving a shit
  • Even if I still didn’t get what I wanted (which was probably the case), at least I didn’t care as much, but usually things worked out better.
  • QED

If you keep worrying, not only will you get yourself sick, but you won’t get a job, guaranteed. This works for everything: not having money, trying to figure out accommodations, weekend plans, car problems, illness, stealing someone elses girlfriend, broken technology, plane crashes, comets, chupacabras, etc*

There you have it. Don’t freak out and things will be just fine. Freak out, and things will continue to suck, then you’ll get an ulcer. So stop giving a shit about everything and everything will be amazing.

*This doesn’t apply if you’re in deep shit. I am also not responsible for any harm that arises from you taking my advice to stop giving a shit. Some shit has to be given, just not a lot. This is a blog and I’m not a psychologist.


It’s About Time They Did This in NYC


You know what annoys me? Tourists clogging up my city and getting in my way. People like to stand in the middle of the sidewalk with blank stares and gaping mouths while looking up at buildings and taking 4,321 pictures or people who are walking turtle speed staring into a map. I have places to go and things to do – you’re in my way.

So this is a few weeks old, this news – I saw it on the internets somewhere. Being in NY yesterday, people who were slow annoyed me, so I thought I’d put this up. But it’s brilliant – divide the sidewalk into people who stand around and walk slowly, and real people who have somewhere to go. Anyone ignoring this should be ticketed, or even tased (is that even a word? tased? Tasered? Whatever, you get the point.)


Hope Vs. Optimism


If I had to take away an important life lesson from all those core classes they make you take here, this one is extremely relevant and is one of the few useful things I can say I was proud to learn in the core.

So I was sitting in religion one day and the professor asked us to define optimism. Easy, right? So I gave it a shot and said something like “it’s being overly hopeful,” at which he immediately laughed in my face, dismissed it and went on a rant about how hope and optimism are two completely separate things.

Optimism can be defined as an extreme positive outlook , a fantasy world, or a naive belief that everything is going to work out in one’s favor. The American Dream was founded based on optimism (ex manifest destiny, the hero will always win, etc). Overall, this country is pretty optimistic. This is nonsense, and here’s why:

From a very young age, children are being brought up as extreme optimists. For instance, in elementary school gym class, everyone is a winner. Ugh. Yes, this prevents a few kids from crying when they lose a basketball game, but this is detrimental for society. Losing one basketball game in third grade doesn’t mean anything in life. If will make you stronger, even if it takes a week to get over. Children need to learn how to lose and accept it, because you can’t get everything you want in life, and from a very young age, kids are being taught that they are all winners, which teaches that losing is not possible or acceptable. Then we wonder why kids enter college or the real world, fail miserably when no one is there to “force the situation to be favorable” and are unable to cope. This is why people get shitfaced all day long and have problems in life.

The problem with optimism is that if people are too optimistic and end up failing, they experience disillusionment and get all confused and messed up in the head. So we’ve established that being overly optimistic isn’t good.

Then you get pessimism, which is just as bad as optimism. People who are pessimists are so negative that they don’t expect anything to go right. It’s been proven that pessimists don’t live as long. With a pessimistic mindset, what is the point of anything? It leads to self fulfilling prophecies. When people don’t expect anything good to happen, they stop trying. Because of this, nothing good actually happens which reinforces their original belief.

It’s good to be realistic about things. Don’t be too optimistic, but set some reachable goals and expectations and if they come true (which they should because they were within reach), you will be content. Realism: try it out sometime.

So where does hope come in? Hope is the same thing as expectancy – an openness of what is to come. This is not the same as an expectation, which has a clear goal in mind). Because this was a religion class, hope is an openness to receive whatever God wants to give us. Some things are going to be good, and some things are going to be bad, so we should be open to whatever in life. Beyond death, God will save us.

So my question is what the hell is the point of hope if it’s the willingness to receive whatever is to come? Whether or not I am willing to receive whatever comes my way is not going to stop things from coming my way. What a joke. If you put a religious perspective behind it, it makes more sense (aka shit will happen, God will save me).

So where do optimism and pessimism fall in regard to religion? Christian optimism is, the belief that “if I’m a good person, good things will happen to me.” Well that’s complete bullshit. Good people have some fucked up shit happen to them. Christian pessimism is the idea that “if something bad happens to me, it is because I am being punished for something.” Also the same line of bullshit, but negated. Truth is, you have rotten people and everything can go right for them, and then you can have really really good people, where shit hits the fan all day long.

So where am I going with this ramble? I have no idea. Optimism is bad, pessimism is bad. At the same time you need to be optimistic in order to get ahead in life. But then if you’re too optimistic and fail, you’re confused. If you’re too pessimistic and lose, you expect it, but are still miserable. This is all one sick game, I’m telling you. I guess the only thing left to do is just accept all the bullshit that happens, and accept all the good and then get saved?

Fuck you, life, I’m here to take in whatever you send my way.

P.S – This is the shit the Jesuits teach about that motivates people to write weird ass blog entries that freak other people out. I mean seriously, half of the time I have no motivation to do any schoolwork (like my history paper – I couldn’t give three shits about that thing and put it off as long as possible). Does it make me lazy, no – I can be very devoted to certain things and spend hundreds of hours on a project. I just have to like it. What the hell is it that makes me voluntarily write this blog at 5AM? (based on a lesson in a class I thought I wouldn’t care about but was actually good.) Those Jesuits, I’m telling you, they make you reflect.