Category: Website Related


I’m Sick and Tired Of This Blog Being Slow. My Host Can Suck It So Hard.


I apologize to my 3 readers that this blog is slow. My host doesn’t give two shits about keeping server load down on a shared server, so I monitor it myself and send them snarky emails whenever the site runs like ass. They then proceed to fix it for about 5 minutes and it’s right back to shit. The excuse this time? “We’re replacing a backup drive and backups are running, along with the usual load.”

These load averages should be under 2 for optimal performance, and anything over 5 is shitty and causes lag. My stats show red consistently for two days straight. I’m about to drop the extra cash on a cloud server. I get a virtual instance of a server with just ME using it. With root. Shit would be legit. But for the 3 people that actually visit, it’s not worth spending 10x more.

Upgrading, BRB


Upgrading this bitch to WordPress 3.1. My plugins might break, so bear with me. I have backups but I’m too tired to restore them tonight if this goes wrong. It shouldn’t though. This isn’t Drupal or some awful shit.

Edit: Success, bitches! Nothing broke, unlike last time. Noice. 2/2 in WordPress upgrades without breaking anything.

Just Another Hour of Downtime, NBD


Seriously, FUCK my host. That’s right. If you want a shared hosting environment, get the fuck away from Surpass. They used to be amazing back in 2004, but they grew too big for their own good. I’m on some piece of junk server that has horseshit uptime and server loads averaging around 15. Fuck this.

Time to go host shopping.

My Host Sucks


We have scheduled the integration of this additional UPS on Monday January 10th, 2011 at 9 AM EST (UTC-5). The integration will be completed within two hours. No down time is expected during this integration because this new system has been already successfully inspected and stress tested by a third party. However, in a worst-case scenario, up to 25% of the servers in our data center may experience a brief loss of power and reboot themselves automatically. We do not expect this to happen, but we are well-prepared in case it does. We have scheduled a special standby response team that will take action as needed to minimize the impact of any problems that arise during this work.

Minimal downtime my ass. 54 minutes of downtime for the ENTIRE datacenter, not just 25% of servers. Plus the server load sucks dick half of the day on my server. Christ. If it wasn’t dirt cheap and I had more than 4 regular visitors, I’d switch it in a heartbeat.

Read this Shit on Your Phones, It’s Better Now (Also, faster)


Some half Asian girl bitched at me a few weeks ago that my mobile edition sucked on Blackberry. No one cares, Blackberries suck. We all know I’m all about the Droid (okay, iPhones are not for me, but they’re okay too). So I decided to change my mobile theme on this site. But not because she complained…

I’ve been investigating why this blog has been loading like absolute horse shit for the past few weeks and it turns out it was pretty much my plugins crapping out the server. After yelling at my host, they somehow hacked into my WordPress, disabled them all (how they got in is beyond me since I didn’t give them any authorization to, but that’s not the point). Now I’m not a moron – I disabled plugins before while troubleshooting these speed issues but couldn’t find anything wrong. Anyway, long story short, the mobile edition I was using was throwing crazy errors and making this crap run slowly. And dumbass .htaccess rules and a misconfigured caching plugin. I think I got it now (unlike my other few posts claiming to have improved the speed).

I’m also minifying all of my javascript and css (except for polls and ratings) with WP-Minify, so that should help a little bit too with the speed and cut back on the 45 server requests

So the blog should be faster, and also the mobile edition is pretty. Enjoyy.