How Pimp is This Stache Watch?
This is what I call a baller watch. I don’t want it… I need it!
How sick is this? Anytime some chick asks you what time it is and you pull this bad boy out, she’ll be soaked instantly.
Classic.
It’s a Fucking Insult that Jeter and Cano Won Silver Sluggers
LoHud -Earlier tonight, Louisville Slugger announced that New York Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano and shortstop Derek Jeter were recipients of 2012 American League Silver Slugger Awards, marking the seventh time in the last eight seasons that multiple Yankees have received the honor in the same year. The Yankees were one of three teams to win more than one award this year, along with Detroit and Washington.
You’re shitting me, right? Listen. I don’t care how good your season was. I don’t care if you hit .600 from April-September. The fact that these two jokers hit like .090 combined in the postseason should automatically be grounds for disqualification. Silver slugger your ballsack. When you have such a power hitting team that gets shut down like morons in the playoffs, your year was a joke. So no awards. Kicks in the asses instead.
Pick some other jokeface who can hit a damn ball when it matters.
Is This The Best Voicemail Ever, or is this the Best Voicemail Ever?
I pissed my pants listening to this voicemail. This is an absolute gem. I love the commentary and the yelling in the background and the thought process.
Points covered (you should really listen first through):
- Young Joseph, here’s the deal:
- Say your’re wrestling a bear… A big fucking grizzly bear
- You have two M60 firecrackers and a ???? and a Magnum condom
- You can fuck the bear if you want. It’s not recommended
- That bear will fuck you up
- That bear is hungry as fuck
- Don’t fuck the bear
- Everyone is recommending that you don’t fuck the bear because that bear is hungry as fuck and will fuck you up.
- You have two M80s, a canteen of water and a wine cooler
- You could wine and dine the bear, then you can fuck it but I don’t suggest it
- If you fuck a bear, that’s pretty cool and if you put that on Facebook, people will like that shit
- I changed my mind, you fuck that fuckin bear. I will like that shit
- I will share that shit
- Joe, I changed my mind. You fuck that fuckin bear.
- I want you to fuck this bear like a fuckin animal. Well, it doesn’t make sense because a bear is a kind of is an animal
- Granted, the bear will probably eat you
The Yearly Black Friday Rant
November 23, 2012
Useless Update
No Comments
Portfolioso
I had this whole rant planned out in my head and then was like… Oh shit, I blogged this before. So I’m not going to write the whole thing. But here’s the thing: I hate crowds. I have a life. If I have to stand in line freezing my balls off to save $50-$100, fuck that. My time is worth more than what I’ll save. I’ll pay the extra money to not deal with that bullshit.