Portfolioso.com Blog

Everyone’s Making Fun of Brett Gardner RN, But I Respect the Hell out of Him

Couple days ago, Brett Garner got pissed off because he was robbed of a home run by Indians’ outfielder Jordan Luplow, who made a spectacular play in the outfield. So he throws his helmet and it hits him in the lip:

It's all fun and games until the helmet bounces back and hits you in the face. pic.twitter.com/gy6Lpgrhlf

— FOX Sports: MLB (@MLBONFOX) June 8, 2019

But what you don’t realize was this:

#Yankees LF Brett Gardner has 6 stitches in his lower lip due to throwing his helmet in the dugout and having it bang off a wall into his lip. He got the stitches after the game with no novocaine, which he says hurt the most.

— Randy Miller (@RandyJMiller) June 8, 2019

Dude played the entire slow-assed baseball game with his lip gaped open (granted, he went 0-4). He waited until after the game to get stitched with no novocaine!!! Wat?!?!?! He’s a damn robot. You never see him injured, and he still plays even if he is.

You understand how rare this is in Major League Baseball nowadays? 99% of MLB players are weaklings – seems like a daily event that players end up on the disabled list injured list. Mark Texiera, a wimpy, weak asshole, was the biggest offender of all time. God forbid he ever would have tried to throw his helmet – dude would have strained his vagina lifting the damn thing off his head. See, Brett Gardner is a hockey player-like tank. Tough as they get. He’s the closest thing to Paul O’Neill’s temper the team has got going on right now. I’d legit be afraid of him if I were an opposing player and would not want to deal with him in any kind of brawl or have him rush the mound. Gardy can’t control his rage when he isn’t doing so hot, and looks like he’s going to end you. And you know what? You need that shit. Without any fire, you’re not going to win ballgames. Yankees were slumping, guy almost hits a home run, and it gets robbed! Of course you need to get fired up about that. You can’t just mope around and be like “boo hiss we lost 8 of our last 10.” Get angry! Do better! If you want to split your lip open in a self-inflicted rage incident, so be it. Just stay off the injured list and win ballgames. It’s that simple.

The Yankees are a Fucking Disaster

Absolute disgrace losing the opening series to the minor league Orioles. Before you say “oh what a typical Yankee fan – it’s only the third game of the season, relax.” No. I won’t relax. You don’t lose two out of three to a garbage dump team. I don’t care if it’s early, middle or the end of the season. Wins add up. If they don’t cut this out right now, there’s no way they’ll get anywhere this season. This is how you lose the damn division – by blowing easy to win series. Besides opening day, they looked like middle schoolers making joke errors in the field and no one knows how to hit anymore with runners in scoring position. This is some NY Mets level shit.

No pressure or anything but the Yankees made a World Series appearance every decade since the 1920s and have not in the 2010s… So if they don’t this year, the whole decade is a disaster. Steinbrenner’s spinning in his grave right now.