Month: January 2012

Study Says Android Users Constantly Bring Their Phones to the Shitter

Portfolioso January 30, 2012 No Comments Useless Update

Mashable – A report by marketing agency 11mark found that three in four people are texting, emailing and even talking on the phone while in the bathroom. In fact, about 25% of Americans said they always bring their phone into the restroom. However, the survey — conducted among 1,000 Americans — revealed that Android users are slightly more likely to use their phones in the bathroom compared to other device owners. About 87% of Android users have used their phone while going to the bathroom compared with 84% of BlackBerry users and 77% of iPhone users.

I mean… It’s better than bringing your laptop to the shitter

I really don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like you’re going to wipe your ass on your phone. As long as you follow the golden rules, you’re good:

  1. Start shit
  2. Use phone (not for calls, asshole)
  3. Put phone away in a pocket
  4. Wipe ass
  5. Flush toilet
  6. Wash hands
  7. Leave shitter
Phone is unaffected. Very simple. Now if you’re like wiping your ass in one hand while playing Words with Friends in another, that’s just grimy. I don’t see how only Android people have this mentality.

PS – guaranteed that 25 Apple fanboys will call me nasty.

Fidel Castro Hit The Nail on the Head

Portfolioso January 26, 2012 No Comments Rants

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FGSFDS!

This fucking crazy bastard couldn’t have said it better: “The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is, and I mean this seriously, the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been.” 

THIS IS THE REALEST FUCKING STATEMENT I’VE HEARD IN TEN YEARS.

You’re God damn right, Fidel! We have a bunch of fuck ups running for the Republican nomination. I mean, did you hear these fucking jokers at the debate? Romney was like “I’d thank heavens if he croaked and the people will celebrate when he meets his maker” Newt was like “Hey Mitt, you’re full of shit, he’s going to hell”  and Santorum was  like ‘HERP DERP I’d keep those sanctions and give them mountains of aid once his regime is gone. Fuck those commies” Really? Lets give the Cubans mountains of aid, you fucking jokeshop. It’s not like we don’t have fucking homeless people every 3 inches in NYC…

Seriously listening to those three assholes hurts my brain. Ron Paul is the only guy that made sense.  Why are we holding a grudge against Cuba for shit they did in the 60s? Fucking trade with them. I want some cigars and shit.

PS – because of this quote, I am now Pro-Cuba and anti United States.

Liberty is Gone: The Gov’t Can Force You to Reveal Encryption Passwords

Portfolioso January 23, 2012 No Comments Computer/ Tech Related

TechCrunch – In July, [TechCrunch] about an ongoing case wherein a woman accused of fraud was being asked by the prosecution to provide the password to access her computer’s data, which otherwise would remain encrypted and unreadable, weakening their case. They got permission to compel her to reveal the password, but the defense said that it was unconstitutional to do so, as providing that information was essentially self-incriminating testimony.

So, doing what Judges are made to do, Judge Robert Blackburn made a decision: “the Fifth Amendment is not implicated by requiring production of the unencrypted contents of the Toshiba Satellite M305 laptop computer.”

This is a joke. You know how many times in college and they seized my computer because  of “suspicious network activity, botnets and viruses?” (all false accusations, mind you).  Like three times. They’d shut off my internet, send me a letter from the dean and be like “wah wah wah, we suspect you of X, Y and Z. Give us your computer so we can scan it for viruses and crap and then we’ll reactivate you.” So I did. You know what they found after searching it? Jack shit. Know why? 1) I didn’t do any of the ridiculous shit they were accusing me of and 2) who the hell do they think they are? FBI forensics dudes? Absolutely no way you’re getting my data! If you know what you’re doing, you can get around these things

Judge asshole over here is going to set a precedent that goes something like this: “Well, you don’t have to give us your password, but if you don’t you’re automatically guilty…”

If you know what you’re doing, you can give the password. And it will decrypt the computer. And you will not get caught. It’s called Plausible Deniability. Learn about it: http://www.truecrypt.org/docs/?s=plausible-deniability (for the record, I don’t have this set up because I have nothing to hide, but I am aware of it)

My Mouse is Pissing Me Off

Portfolioso January 23, 2012 No Comments Rants

I need a new damn mouse. It’s being such a pain in the ass. New random problem: When I middle click to open a link in a new tab, sometimes it sends two click actions and it opens that tab twice. Happens like 30% of the time What the hell… So annoying.

Get Ready to Go to War With Iran, Mother Fuckers!

Portfolioso January 23, 2012 No Comments Rants ,

Faux News – The USS Abraham Lincoln on Sunday passed through the Strait of Hormuz — the first time a US aircraft carrier has been through the strategic waterway since Iran threatened to close it earlier this month.

This is it folks! Your next Iraq and Afghanistan in the making. We’re going to war! I guarantee it. You heard it here first. It’s what the United States does.  All of the rednecks in the south love war and politicians who initially speak out against it get paid off by some machine to keep declaring illegally starting wars that never end.

Also:

The US Navy said the passage of the vessel was “routine” and had been completed without incident. “USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72) completed a regular and routine transit of the Strait of Hormuz, Jan. 22, to conduct maritime security operations as scheduled and in support of requirements set by the combatant commander,” a statement from Naval Forces Central Command said.

Bullshit. It wasn’t routine. How about you don’t send two aircraft carriers to an area to begin with. Does anyone understand fucking history. Like the whole World War I powder keg thing and the Lucitania? Same shit. You can’t just go putting aircraft carriers in someone’s waters without being militaristic. I’m pretty sure the U.S would flip a shit if some other country started sending their aircraft carriers to US waters.

The thing is… Obama is not anti war even though he said he was his whole campaign. All Republicans except Ron Paul are all for attacking Iran. And because Obama has a 79% chance of getting reelected, and Ron Paul has a 0% chance of getting the Republican nomination, even if some other Republican beats Obama, it doesn’t matter. Someone is going to go to war with Iran.

I just want fucking gasoline to not be $8.50 a gallon, which it will be soon ($9.50 in NY because they tax your balls off). First, you have the European Union putting oil embargoes, sanctions and all that shit on Iran and fucking with the world economy. Fuck Iran. Let them develop nuclear shit, just like other countries have done. It doesn’t mean they’re going to attack people with them. They can’t get anywhere near the United States. This is a country that’s been at conflict since the 70s. U.S intervention now isn’t going to fix anything.

Happy Monday!

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