Archive for November, 2012

See, I called It

November 27th, 2012 8:43pm No comments

College Humor is spot on, but this is obviously the best blog ever, so I get all the news and common sense rants first.

Categories: Useless Update Tags:

If You Post that Dumb-As-Shit Facebook Legal Disclaimer on Your Wall, You’re a Tool Bag

November 26th, 2012 11:29am 2 comments

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above, my written consent is needed at all times! (Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. This will place them under protection of copyright laws.) By the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook’s direction or control. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute).

Facebook is now an open capital entity. All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates.

Oh here we go again with these fucking idiots… Once again, another social virus is spreading on Facebook. A social chain virus, spread by idiotic users that mindlessly copy and paste text. Text that some wannabe toolface law student like ßrad Gorson wrote one day on a power trip. (yes, I used a German ß as a B even though it’s pronounced like an S. That jackoff probably has some Google Alerts shit set up and I would rather not deal with him). But I digress…

Do you morons actually think that if you post this “disclaimer” on your wall, that Facebook will respect it? Fuck no dumb shit! It’s Facebook. They can do whatever the fuck they want. They own your content. If you read the idiotic terms of service, you already agreed to this shit when you signed up. It’s the fucking internet. Do you think anything on the internet is ever private? You dumb motherfuckers. I don’t care if you’re Christ himself, the TOS still applies.


The Yearly Black Friday Rant

November 23rd, 2012 2:07am No comments

I had this whole rant planned out in my head and then was like… Oh shit, I blogged this before. So I’m not going to write the whole thing. But here’s the thing: I hate crowds. I have a life. If I have to stand in line freezing my balls off to save $50-$100, fuck that. My time is worth more than what I’ll save. I’ll pay the extra money to not deal with that bullshit.

Categories: Useless Update Tags:

How Pimp is This Stache Watch?

November 16th, 2012 3:34pm No comments

This is what I call a baller watch. I don’t want it… I need it!

How sick is this? Anytime some chick asks you what time it is and you pull this bad boy out, she’ll be soaked instantly.


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It’s a Fucking Insult that Jeter and Cano Won Silver Sluggers

November 9th, 2012 10:00am No comments

LoHud – Earlier tonight, Louisville Slugger announced that New York Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano and shortstop Derek Jeter were recipients of 2012 American League Silver Slugger Awards, marking the seventh time in the last eight seasons that multiple Yankees have received the honor in the same year. The Yankees were one of three teams to win more than one award this year, along with Detroit and Washington.

You’re shitting me, right? Listen. I don’t care how good your season was. I don’t care if you hit .600 from April-September. The fact that these two jokers hit like .090 combined in the postseason should automatically be grounds for disqualification. Silver slugger your ballsack. When you have such a power hitting team that gets shut down like morons in the playoffs, your year was a joke. So no awards. Kicks in the asses instead.

Pick some other jokeface who can hit a damn ball when it matters.

Categories: Rants, Sports Tags: